Knowing a handful of good questions to ask a girl to get to know her is essential.
…Because as most guys have experienced:
Whether you’re hanging out with a platonic friend, a new co-worker, or a first Tinder date, getting to know a girl can be a little intimidating. At the same time, it doesn’t have to be. It’s all about knowing the right questions to ask.
Using these questions to get to know a girl is a great way to learn about her in a fun and casual way. After all, you don’t want to come on too strong, too fast.
You may be surprised to find that the two of you have plenty of common ground. Because ultimately, even though you’re a guy and she’s a girl, you’re still both people. With these get to know you questions, you can learn from each other.
Brushing up on these questions to ask a girl is only half the battle. Be prepared to answer her questions too. Be confident, but don’t try too hard. Girls can smell an act from a mile away. Be your charming, genuine self.
Let’s get into them:
58 Great Questions to Get to Know a Girl
To make this resource even better/easier for you to use… I broke down the questions to ask into a few different sections (from the best questions to use early in a conversation, to deeper questions that are better towards the end).
I recommend looking through each section, but if you want to jump to one in particular, you can use the links below:
Use these conversation starters to kick things off. These are questions that both guys and girls can answer. They’re great openers because they’re fun, but they can lead into more profound discussions.
Here are 19 conversation starters to get to know a girl:
1. Would you rather win an Olympic medal, an Academy Award or the Nobel Peace prize?
This is a fun question that sheds some light on what’s really important to her.
2. If you had to leave Earth on a spaceship and take 4 people you know, who would they be?
The people you love or look up to say a lot about you as a person.
3. Would you rather spend five days exploring Disney World or New York City?
Does she prefer an enchanted adventure or the big city? This question can also lead to more conversations about travel.
4. Sunrises or sunsets?
Simple yet sweet. Mornings or evenings?
5. What has been your worst date ever?
We all have horror stories. Listen to hers, and hope she’s not describing the current moment!
6. If you could only eat one pizza topping, for the rest of your life, what would it be?
This is a tough question to say the least. Be careful — this conversation could get heated.
7. Cats or dogs?
Is she a feline person or a canine person, and why?
8. If you could have only one view out of your window, for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Rolling hills? Outer space? Double rainbows? Remember her answer, and try to bring her somewhere with a similar view in the future.
9. What’s on the top of your bucket list?
We all have those dreams we’d like to bring to life one day. What are hers?
10. What’s the best “hidden gem” that you’ve ever found?
Whether it’s a hole-in-the-wall restaurant or a local dive bar, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want to give away her secret spot.
11. If you could live in one period of history, what would it be?
This conversation starter has endless room for discussion. Be sure to have your own answer ready.
12. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
This is a fantastic conversation starter because it gives you both the opportunity to share hilariously terrible stories from your worst nightmare gigs.
13. Where do you want to retire?
Where is her happy place? Does she want to live out her days in her hometown, or is she the tropical island type?
14. Where is the most beautiful place you have been?
This conversation provides insight into what type of places she loves. Take note, and plan a date based on that theme.
15. Where do you want to travel to next?
Is there an adventure on the horizon? If not, maybe you can suggest a destination.
16. Have you traveled to more countries or states?
Is she a jet setter or more of a road trip gal?
17. If you were captain of a ship, what would you call it?
This conversation starter is a blast, and it gives you both the chance to be creative.
18. Who is your favorite mythological god/goddess?
Does she prefer Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty? Or is she more of an Ares, the god of war, type of person?
19. On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?
What’s her first priority as the new Earth queen? This conversation can lead to in-depth discussion or laughs.
After you’ve warmed up with a few conversation starters, you can add these questions into the mix.
You should be somewhat comfortable with her by now, so these questions to get to know a girl should work nicely. Use these questions to fill gaps of silence and keep the conversation flowing.
Here are 12 of the best questions to ask to get to know a girl:
20. What would your dream house be like?
It’s never too early to start dreaming. Whether it’s a European castle or a tree house, you’ll learn a little about her tastes.
21. What’s one thing you’d love to learn more about?
This question shows her you’re interested in her mind, and it can give you some great ideas for future outings.
22. If you had to live a week without internet, what would you do to keep yourself sane?
If the series of tubes that make up the internet fell down, how do you waste hours of your life?
23. If you could only live in a big city or a small town for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
Is she happy with the simpler things in life, or does she have big city dreams? There’s no wrong answer, but her response says a lot about her plans for the future.
24. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?
This is a tough question that helps you to understand if she treasures her past experiences more than the ones that will be made in the years to come.
25. If you could live forever, would you? Why?
Immortality comes with some pretty hefty pros and cons. Is it worth it?
26. Would you rather live in a world with or without social media?
Just like immortality, social media often comes with some serious advantages and disadvantages!
27. Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or a duck-sized horse?
And what weapons would you use in this strangely terrifying battle?
28. What decade do you relate to most?
Does she enjoy the peace and love of the 60s? Or does she vibe more with the funky neon 80s?
29. If you could only shop at one store for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
And, no, the mall doesn’t count as one store.
30. Who is a character from a TV show or a book that you’ve always resonated with?
Fiction or nonfiction. Remember her answer, and learn about that character. It can help you to understand her a little better.
31. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy?
The possibilities are endless. This conversation could go anywhere.
Chatting over text is one of the easiest ways to connect with a girl. After all, you both have time to choose exactly what to say. Use that to your advantage. Don’t rush your questions and responses. Make them count.
These questions to ask a girl over text are perfect for learning about her interests and hobbies. They also show her that you’re genuinely interested in what makes her tick.
Here are 5 of the best questions to ask a girl to get to know her over text:
32. When you’re visiting a new city, what’s the first thing that you do?
Check into a hotel? Find the best restaurant? Order a stiff drink? What’s her travel ritual?
33. What is your favorite dish to cook?
Hey, we all have to eat. She doesn’t need to be a gourmet chef to have a favorite recipe. If she asks about yours, be honest — she might ask you to make it for her!
34. What kind of books do you like to read?
The kind of literature a person enjoys says a lot about their personality.
35. What’s your all-time favorite song/artist/band/genre?
Music is a window to a person’s soul. Be sure to take note, and blast those tunes next time the two of you are hanging out.
36. What song would you choose as your theme song?
What song immediately plays when she walks into a room?
Regardless of gender, age, or background, humor connects people.
If you polled a room full of girls, the majority will say that a sense of humor is an important quality for a guy to possess. That’s why these are some of the most powerful questions to get to know a girl, even though they’re a little goofy.
These funny get to know you questions show her your silly side, and they let you see hers too.
Spice up your hangout session with these funny questions to ask a girl, but don’t overdo it. You want her to laugh with you, but you don’t want your conversation to turn into a standup routine.
Here are 8 of the best funny questions to ask to get to know a girl:
37. If you had to be tied up with someone for 72 hours, who would it be?
If she says you, things are going extremely well.
38. When’s the last time you used the phrase “back when I was your age”?
Warning: this one might earn you a slap if you’re not careful!
39. Would you rather always talk in rhymes or sing instead of speaking?
Either way, she would be one whimsical woman!
40. Would you rather be hairy all over or completely bald?
Does she prefer a Sasquatch look, or would she rather pursue a career as an Olympic swimmer?
41. Would you rather live in the house of your dreams, but with permanently no internet access, or your current home for the rest of your life?
In other words, how valuable is online access to you? In this hypothetical scenario, she also can’t access the internet on her phone either. No loopholes.
42. What’s the cheesiest compliment that you have ever received from a guy?
Have an even cheesier one prepared so you can top the list.
43. Would you rather go on 100 terrible dates or have 2 terrible relationships?
This question can help you to understand her relationship goals a little better without asking directly. It can also lead to hilarious stories about past romances gone sour.
44. Who would be the absolute worst person to be stuck in an elevator with?
Try really, really hard not to be like that person.
By now, you’re probably feeling a little more comfortable with her. These deep questions to ask a girl should help you move beyond surface level conversation and into deeper territories.
Remember: if she doesn’t feel comfortable opening up, don’t be pushy. Everyone is unique. Some girls are open books, and others may want to wait before revealing intimate details about their personal lives. Use these when it feels right.
Here are 14 questions to help you get to know her deeper:
45. What’s the best part about having siblings?
If she doesn’t have any siblings, you can ask what’s the best part about being an only child.
46. What’s the thing you take most for granted?
We all have things or people in our life that we don’t give due credit.
47. If you found out your entire life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up?
This conversation can turn introspective fast. It’s a fascinating thought experiment that really makes you examine the potentially fragile fabric of reality as we know it.
48. What do you think happens after we die?
Nobody knows, but we all have theories. This is a classic question that’s been asked since the dawn of human consciousness.
49. Which of the 5 senses would you say is your strongest?
If she says smell, you better hope that you remembered to put on deodorant.
50. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?
Don’t be surprised if she needs a few minutes to think about this one. It’s not a question you get asked every day.
51. What do you want most out of life?
This is a direct and big question that helps you to really get to know her right to the core.
52. Would your life be better or worse, if you knew the time and place where you would die?
Are some things better left unknown? How would that information change how she spends her remaining time?
53. Half full or half empty?
This succinct question lets you know if she’s optimistic or pessimistic.
54. What’s the worst thing a person can do that isn’t illegal?
There are plenty of legal atrocities. What does she consider the worst sin that doesn’t lead to jail time?
55. Do you think human morality is learned or innate?
Are we products of our environments? Or, are we inherently who we are? What makes a person good or evil?
56. If reincarnation existed, whom would you most want to be reborn as?
She can come back as any person (or animal) from any point in history. This question says a lot about the type of person she’d like to be.
57. What’s one thing you really wish you knew when you were younger?
Wisdom comes with age. What important life lessons has she learned over the years?
58. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Is ignorance bliss? Or is knowledge worth the mental cost? Given the choice, would she prefer to remain happily ignorant, or would she expand her brainpower knowing that it comes with baggage.
Here are 5 tips to help you to use these questions to ask a girl to get to know her:
Tip #1: Begin with conversation starters
Don’t start with deep questions. Use our conversation starters to keep things easy breezy, and then move into other questions naturally to keep the conversation flowing with her.
Tip #2: Don’t push too hard
Girls are naturally wary of new guys. Pay attention to her answers and her body language. If she seems uncomfortable with personal questions, back off. Take it slow, and be considerate.
Whether you’re seeking friendship or romance, authentic relationships often take time.
Tip #3: Understand how she views you
Even if you have a crush on her, there’s no guarantee that the feeling is mutual. Girls can be tough to read at first. Try to pick up on signs, but don’t mistake friendliness for flirtatiousness.
If you want to form a genuine bond, she needs to trust you. Eventually you may be able to take the relationship to the next level, but try not to be presumptuous about where you stand. Your romantic partner should also be your best friend anyways, so start by building a friendship foundation.
Tip #4: Know when to be bold
While it’s important that you’re respectful, there may be a point where making the first (or next) move is appropriate. When that time comes, be confident, but not cocky.
For example, you could ask a flirtatious question, and then use that to transition into other more intimate conversation. Play it cool, and don’t stress out if it doesn’t work the first time.
Tip #5: Be true to yourself
We all know that guy who acts like a completely different person around girls. Don’t be that guy. If you want to get to know someone, you need to let them get to know you. Be yourself, but be the best version of yourself.
If you put on a facade now, you’re only going to run into problems down the road. If she doesn’t appreciate the real you, it’s not an ideal match anyways. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
More Good Questions to Get to Know a Girl
At this point, you should be a human Rolodex of questions to ask a girl to get to know her. At the same time, it never hurts to have more on deck. Here are some more fantastic questions you can use:
- If you’re pursuing a romantic interest, these questions to Ask a Girl You Like should fit the bill nicely. Blend them with our other standard questions for a more effective approach.
- Whether you’re on a double date or rolling as a third wheel, these Questions for Couples should keep the conversation lively. Don’t be afraid to bust out your phone and treat it like a game.
- Plenty of these Questions to Ask to Get to Know a Guy can work just fine for girls too. Whether you’re hanging out with a friend, relative, or co-worker, these questions keep the conversation more on the casual side.
Now that you have some solid questions to ask, the rest is up to you. These get to know you questions will definitely help to keep the dialogue going, but try not to rely on them entirely. Sprinkle them into conversation naturally.
Some of the best questions to ask a girl are the unplanned follow up questions that arise naturally based on her answers to these planned ones. Remember to listen to her responses, and give your own answers and opinions.
The delicate art of conversation with the fairer sex can be tough to master, but just be friendly, genuine, and confident, and the rest will follow.