When you want an instant laugh, short puns are the way to go. Well, for one, they're short, which makes it easy to remember.
And then, there's the fact that they're puns, and puns have a unique way of making people laugh.
So yeah, short puns are your allies if you want something fast and effective. Go try to put one to the test right now!
8 Best short puns
Well, the best short puns are those that are so relatable, it's impossible for anyone not to start laughing the moment you blurt them out.
1. I bought a boat because it was for sail.
Oh wow, you must have a lot of money!
2. A backwards poet writes inverse.
Does that make them steop?
3. You got to hand it to short people.
4. For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
That's a good way to put it.
5. Velcro, what a rip-off.
A useful rip-off though!
6. Need an Ark? I Noah guy.
Does this guy happen to own a zoo?
7. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
I thought it isn't supposed to hurt?
8. What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus.
Didn't know extinct creatures can be found in libraries!
8 short puns one-liners
If you want a shorter version of short, then these puns one liners are your best bet. They're just what they are, short funny things that will get you laughing in no time.
9. I'm an archaeologist and my life is in ruins.
Oh, poor you!
10. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Did it mist you too?
11. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
Don't remember it either.
12. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
Hey, who doesn't like free stuff?
13. I wanted to buy a camouflage shirt, but I didn’t see one.
Then you must buy that one.
14. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
And getting closer to the top every second.
15. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
I think everybody does.
16. If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?
That's a really sad way to go.
5 funny short puns
Would you call it a pun if they're not funny? I won't. But let's just admit that there are funny puns and there are those that are not so funny, even when they're supposed to be. I know you know what I mean right there. Anyway...
17. Can February March? No, but April May.
June Julike it?
18. I took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
You need a better camera then.
19. Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
I hope that doesn't happen to me.
20. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out.
Awwwww. That makes me sad.
21. My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
Guess we should call it leafsuckers.
4 bad short puns
If there are really good, funny puns, then, of course, bad puns are also present. They are those that make the good ones good. I mean, you've got to have something to compare, right?
22. A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
I don't think that the principal will see that as good.
23. I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
I bet you used 2 hands?
24. How do trees get online? They just log in.
Oh, I thought they just need a passwood.
25. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Not my cheese either!
4 Math Short Puns
Oh yes, we do have math short puns because math can't be fun for everyone, right? But when you say a pun inspired by math, now we're talking.
26. What do you call friends who love math? algebros
Does that mean that their counterparts are algenemies?
27. To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Don't mention it.
28. What did Al Gore play on his guitar? An Algorithm
That must've sounded good.
29. I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch. He could binomial.
Oh, he'll starve!
5 clever short puns
When short puns are involved, it is a bit difficult to be clever because there are only limited words. However, it is not impossible. Take these clever puns for example. They ain't long, but they sure are clever.
30. One-fifth of people are just too tense!
I definitely saw one two did there.
31. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
You're not a-loan!
32. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
Oh, those sneaky people!
33. Don't go bacon my heart. I couldn't if I fried.
Oh, my stomach just growled!
34. I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
Yup, Google that one. Thank me later.
6 short animal puns
Animals are always a great subject because almost everyone loves animals, they're adorable! Do you know what's more adorable? Check out our list of animal puns right here.
35. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
36. I went to the costume party as a turtle. I had one shell of a time.
Oh, did the time go slow?
37. What do you call a thieving alligator? A Crookodile
A bad guy!
38. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork chop
39. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A dino-snore.
That must be loud!
40. What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
Bet they like basketball too?
5 short love puns
Oh and what is a list of puns if we don't include love puns? I mean, after all, love makes the world go round, right?
41. There are chameleon reasons I love you.
I would love to see them.
42. You’ve stolen a pizza my heart.
Bet you found them delicious, huh?
43. I dolphinately love you.
I sea that.
44. No bunny compares to you.
Rabbit you do.
45. What did the volcano say to his wife? I lava you
I lava you too!
5 short christmas puns
46. Get the elf out of here.
Looks like someone's been naughty.
47. Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
48. I only have ice for you.
I though ice was supposed to be tasteless? Why is this one sweet?
49. You snow the drill!
Yes, I do!
50. Rebel without a Claus.
No gift this year, I guess!
Downloadable List of Short Puns
Here is a downloadable list of short ouns (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):
How to Pick the best short puns
When choosing short puns, you need to be careful and take some things into consideration because like jokes, there are also bad puns and bad timing for puns. If you're a bit careless, you can end up offending someone, or worse, you can get in trouble. We're not trying to scare you here, we're just reminding you to be cautious. Plus, you do not need to get all worried, because we're here to help.
1. Know yourself
Are you good at throwing punch lines? Or are you so bad you literally need to explain everything you say? If you're the former, then you can just pick literally anything in this list and you'll be good. However, if you are the former, then my suggestion is that you start with the most relatable and easy-to-deliver ones and work your way from there.
2. Know your audience
Knowing your audience will save you from getting into trouble. Of course, if you know who you're telling the pun to, then that means you know if they like funny things, or if they're serious persons. This information will also let you know when you can be a bit more experimental or a bit more reserved.
3. Mind where you're at
Are you in the public library where everyone's quiet? That's probably not the best time to blurt out a pun and make your friend laugh uncontrollably. Are you stuck in traffic and bored? That's the perfect time for these short puns. What we're saying here is that you should choose not only when, but also where you would tell a pun. It's important.
More Witty Puns to Share or Start a Conversation With
Oh wow, didn't you just love those puns? Well, if you did, we know you'll also love these other lists of witty things we've got.
- When you want to make someone laugh, these punny jokes are your best allies.
- Now, if you want a little twist to your fun time, insert some of these jokes and riddles and you're good to go.
- One of the best resources for jokes out there is Reader's Digest. Check out our collection of Reader's Digest jokes here.
Well, we've given you our best short puns right here! We do hope we were able to help you make someone else laugh today. Or you know, you can actually enjoy these puns by yourself. They're that good!