It’s no secret that understanding women, especially in a dating context, can be a confusing, seemingly impossible task for men.
…And one of the most confusing hurdles during dating is determining if a girl you want to date is flirting with you… or not.
That confusion happens because the incredibly subtle nuances of a girl’s flirtation are often completely missed by men, who look for more direct, straightforward flirting signs.
Unfortunately, girls will rarely ever be straightforward with flirting…
…so I used my insider knowledge to put together this list of the 7 most common signs that a girl is actually flirting with you.
Is She Interested? 7 Signs a Girl is Flirting
Next time you find yourself wondering whether or not you have a chance with a girl, look for these 7 common signs of flirting:
Sign #1: Her Voice Gets Faster And/Or Higher
One of the best ways to determine if a girl is flirting is to listen to the tone and speed of her voice.
Check it out:
The next time you’re in a group with the girl you like, listen to how she speaks to her friends, and to other guys in the group.
Girls usually don’t speak to their girlfriends in high-pitched tones… usually their tones are slightly deeper and mellower.
…And they usually don’t speak quickly and excitedly to guys they’re not interested in.
On the other hand:
When a girl speaks to a guy she finds attractive, she’ll often subconsciously raise the pitch of her voice (in an evolutionary attempt to appear more feminine), and her adrenaline makes her speak noticeably faster.
So does her voice become more high-pitched and quick-paced when she’s talking with you?
If so, she’s probably flirting.
Sign #2: She Uses Flirtatious Touching
While touching is a common and well-known indicator of romantic interest, not all touches are flirtatious.:
If the tap she gives you on the back is somewhat firm, and she says the words, “Awwwww” or “Alright!” in response to something you’ve done…
She likely thinks of you as a friend, and isn’t using touch to communicate a deeper interest.
On the other hand:
She’ll show her interest with a romantic touch (on your shoulder, middle back or knee).
She might also place her hand on your arm while you’re having an intimate conversation… or playfully shove you and giggle if you tease her.
…So next time your love interest touches you, ask yourself what kind of touching it is. If it’s a deliberate touch that feels more intimate, she’s likely flirting.
Check this out:
Intensely holding eye contact is a surprisingly intimate action, and is one of the most commonly missed flirting signs.
…And in fact, a study conducted in 1989 showed that prolonged eye contact can even make people fall in love.
In that study, opposite sex participants were asked to gaze into each other’s eyes for two minutes. After the two minutes, the participants stated they felt a significant increase in feelings of passion and love.
…So naturally, we seem to hold eye contact longer with people we like. Use this knowledge to your advantage:
If a girl looks at you (when she’s not already conversing with you… think in a group setting when someone else is talking) for 2-3 seconds on average, she’s very likely into you.
Pro Tip: if you make eye contact with a stranger multiple times in one setting, you better have your best pickup line ready to approach her.
According to a study by Paul Ekman, there are 18 different types of smiles…
…And when any girl is flirting, she’ll probably be flashing the incredibly sincere “enjoyment smile.”
How can you recognize that smile?
When a person smiles sincerely (because they’re feeling true joy), it causes a small muscle in their upper face to contract. This contraction causes tiny wrinkles at the corner of the eyes known as crow’s feet to form.
Typically, one that people don’t consciously control that muscle, so if it contracts, it indicates true happiness (unlike a fake, forced smile).
If the girl you like smiles at you and crow’s feet appear and her cheeks visibly lift, it’s almost certainly a genuine smile… meaning she’s very likely interested in you.
And PS: Girls will laugh/smile more in general at guys who they’re interested in. If she laughs at all your jokes (even if they’re not that funny), she’s probably into you.
Sign #5: She ‘Flirts’ With Her Body Language (Non-Verbal Flirting)
You’ve probably been in this situation before:
You’re at a party and the girl you like is there… but in a room full of people/distractions, it’s incredibly hard to read the common signs of flirting (it might be dark, you and/or her might be tipsy, and there might be too much going on to have an intimate moment).
Body language is extremely helpful in that exact situation.
Notice the following two body language flirting signs that many women do subconsciously:
A simple way to tell whether she’s flirting with you is to subtly shift your position (cross your legs/arms, scratch your stomach, yawn, etc.)
People tend to mimic the behaviors of people they’re attracted to… it’s an evolutionary social tactic to ‘fit in’.
…So if she replicates your movement, she’s unconsciously showing interest. If she misses your cues, her attention is elsewhere.
Direction of Her Feet
Another quick and easy way to see if she’s interested is to look at which direction her feet are pointing.
Unconsciously, people point their feet at what they want or what they’re focused on.
…So if her toes are pointed at you, she’s probably interested.
Sign #6: She Shows You Her Hands (Literally)
As you talk to the girl you like, ask yourself:
What’s she doing with her hands?
A girl’s hands can tell you a lot about where her attentions/affections lie. Hands are a huge way that people get attention (waving, clapping, touching), so if she likes you, she’ll subconsciously move her hands to attract you.
Is she playing with her hair as the two of you talk, twirling it around one of her fingers? Is she touching her mouth in any way as she’s smiling and listening to you? These are two telltale signs that this girl is into you.
On the other hand:
Is she hiding her hands by placing them on her hips, crossing her arms, or stuffing them in her pockets? Then she’s definitely not trying to get your attention.
Sign #7: She Talks a Lot
Now, with the above tips:
Be sure not to focus too hard on her facial cues and body language that you forget to notice what’s she’s saying. For example:
If the flow of conversation between you is quick and effortless, it’s a really strong sign that she likes you.
On the other hand:
If you’re doing most of the talking, and she’s not offering a lot of responses, she may not be as interested.
And PS: she might be twirling her hair and laughing at your jokes… but if she looks at you and tells you “I have a boyfriend,” that doesn’t mean “please keep flirting with me though because I’m twirling my hair.”
Watch Out for ‘The Natural Flirt’
One thing guys need to watch out for is the girl who’s a ‘natural flirt.’
This type of woman will show all the signs of flirting listed above, but is most likely not romantically interested in you (she just enjoys people, and flirting). She’s either completely unaware of what she’s doing, or she loves the attention she gets from flirting.
Many men will mistake a natural flirt’s love of conversation for genuine interest, and waste a lot of time trying to get her attention.
Here’s how to tell if a girl is a natural flirt:
Watch how she interacts with other guys. Is she flirting with everyone in the room, moving from one conversation to the next?
If so, be careful… her interest is probably not genuine.
Breaking down the most common flirting signs into simple checks can help men recognize when a woman is flirting.
While none of these tips are 100% accurate in every situation, paying attention to these small, subtle signs can dramatically help determine whether a girl is romantically interested… or not.