Need the ultimate list of nerd jokes?

Nerd jokes are for those strictly in the know. Here at Gamertelligence, we've got an assortment of jokes that anyone can appreciate - let's sprinkle a bit of educational humor into the mix.

Ready for some laughs? Ready, set, go!


Ultimate List of the Best Nerdy Jokes You Will Enjoy

Here is the ultimate list of funny nerd jokes for both nerds and geeks. If you're looking to add a little playfulness and pizazz to your jokes, these jokes will not only bring laughs, but it will also teach you something. Put your wisdom to the test to see if you can understand these jokes!

Jokes Categories

6 Best Knee Slappers That Will Be a Big Hit For Geeks

These knee-slappers and gut-busters are a huge hit with geeks of all stripes. Whether you like chemistry, grammar, science, or math, there's a joke for everyone on this list. Just be careful not to laugh at your own joke when you tell others about it!

1. What Did Argon Do When Copper Insulted Him? Argon had no reaction.

This chemistry joke takes a bit of knowledge to understand. Argon, a gas, is inert, which means it doesn't react with copper unless Oxygen is present. This joke makes sense and is informative!

2. Why should you never date an apostrophe? They're too possessive.

Whenever you put an apostrophe after something, it's usually followed by the letter "s" and denotes ownership. Grammar jokes are a fine art; they're used by many a grammar nerd to make fun of grammar rules. Be sure to ask your English teacher what their favorite grammar jokes are!

3. I will always be disappointed that a group of squids is not called a squad.

For the same reason, I'm disappointed that a group of possums isn't called a posse. More groups of animals and things should be named based on puns. It'd make remembering them much easier.

4. An infectious disease walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve your type here." The disease replied, "Well, you're not a very good host."

Biology jokes! Or virology jokes? Combine them with "walks into a bar" jokes, and you've got a great combination. The barman might not be a great host, but he sure makes a great wingman for a joke.

5. Do you know the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

This one's a great word pun! A plumber will pronounce it union-ized, while a chemist will pronounce it un-ionized. Next time you meet someone in either field, ask them to pronounce the word. It'll tell you which camp they fall in.

6. Did you hear about the one who got chilled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

Nothing can be colder than absolute zero on the Kelvin scale. In short, absolute zero is 0K - or zero Kelvin. Anyone who's studied temperature conversions in high school will get this joke immediately.

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6 Funny Math Punch Lines Guaranteed to Get Everyone Thinking

Math is one of the most thinking-intensive subjects out there. Math puns, on the other hand, also make you think... but less about solving the problem and more about getting the joke. These math punchlines won't fail to get your friends' brains spinning!

7. Parallel Lines Have So Much in Common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

This one is a double whammy. Parallel lines are not only completely alike, but they'll never touch each other, no matter what... Making it the most heartbreaking love story about lines you could ever make. Hey, at least they'll never point away from each other.

8. My ex is like the square root of -1,... she's imaginary.

But does it mean your ex-girlfriend is imaginary because you've never broken up or because you didn't have a girlfriend in the first place? We'll need some serious maths to find out which is the case.

9. Why are obtuse angles so depressed? Because they're never right.

In the same vein, acute angles are usually less than right. At least they're cute! Obtuse angles, on the other hand, are just... obtuse. Which angle do you think is better?

10. What does a mathematician say when something goes wrong? Figures!

If you've ever studied math for any time, you'll be saying this word a lot because almost everyone has gotten a math problem completely wrong at times. Say it with me now: Figures!

11. You have a p-value of at least 0.05 because I can't reject you.

She must be pretty statistically significant, and that's why you can't reject her. The null hypothesis is rejected in statistics if it's below the alpha level, usually 0.05. If it's above it instead, you don't reject it.

12. What do you call a tree that is made up of numbers? A geome-tree.

If the tree is made of triangles, it's a trigonome-tree instead. What about if the tree is made of uniform shapes? It's a symme-tree. Trees and math puns go hand in hand!

5 Political Ice Breakers That Will Make You The Life of the Party

Politics can lead to heated discussions between people with different political views. But if you've got the right group, it can be a great way to liven the party and engage in thorough discussions. Why not try using some political jokes to set the mood, then? Here are some great ways to spark a debate.

13. How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning? All the red flags.

The banner of communism is flown with a red flag. Many communist countries have red flags or flags with a dominant red color. Next time you talk about communism, be prepared to spot many of them.

14. What do you call a Russian procrastinator? Putinoff.

Or is it "Putitoff?" Either way, be careful of Russian procrastinators. There's always something off about them... Probably because a lot of common Russian surnames end in -ov.

15. You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.

Is it too soon? You be the judge. This one's at least a good pickup line alongside being a joke. Just be careful not to drop the bomb around her - wouldn't want to be at war with her.

16. Pavlov is at a bar enjoying a drink. The phone rings for him, and he jumps up, shouting, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dog!"

For those who don't know, Pavlov would ring a bell every time he fed his dogs. After some time, he noticed that ringing a bell would cause his dogs to salivate even if he didn't bring any food. Lesson: don't ring a bell when you feed your pets, or they'll start drooling everywhere.

17. No matter how popular they get, antibiotics will never go viral.

At least they're a pretty good antivirus. So, even if they'll never go viral, they'll at least keep your files (and body) safe from foreign intruders.

6 Computer Puns That Will Amuse Your Smart Friends

Every computer geek knows these jokes. These computer jokes are programmed to bring laughter to all those who've even touched a computer in the past few decades. So, tell all your computer nerd friends these jokes and see how they react!

18. CAPS LOCK - Preventing Login Since 1980.

Every type your password, get denied access multiple times and only notice later on you've got caps lock turned on? Everyone who's had a computer in the past few decades knows this pain.

19. Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.

Haha, a fun little jab at the general unreliability of Windows machines. At least nowadays, computers don't crash when you open Windows... much. Just remember to close Windows properly!

20. A programmer's wife tells him, "While you're at the grocery store, buy some eggs." He never comes back.

This one takes a bit of programming knowledge. The "while" statement causes a piece of code to be repeatedly executed as long as the condition is met. So, he'll buy eggs while he's at the grocery store. He'll never leave the store as long as he's there.

21. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions."

Only the most conscientious people read through a lengthy Terms and Conditions page. Most of us just skim through or even skip to the end so we can get stuff done. Hey, as long as we're not doing anything wrong, no one will check if we actually read through it all!

22. What do you call a computer superhero? A Screen Saver

And it saves the day and our computers from going to sleep or shutting down on us! It truly is a computer superhero. Just be careful not to set him to hibernate accidentally.

23. What happens if you drop a computer on your feet? It hertz

The same thing happens when you drop your laptop or tablet on your feet. Imagine the weight of all that data slamming into your foot. It hertz... it really, really hertz.

6 Science Quips to Entertain Your Smartest Friends

Science is a subject for the smart, as you probably already know. That's why science jokes are often the smartest jokes people can come up with. So, if you've got some smart friends who love science, try some of these quips - they'll entertain them well!

24. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

You can't put it back down, but you can pick it up anytime you want! Your interest in it will probably soar, too... way above the clouds. Be careful when reading in Zero-G, friends.

25. E=mc^2. Energy = milk*coffee^2. Einstein was right.

Who said physics couldn't be funny? Everyone knows Einstein's infamous equation - so why don't we turn it into my personal favorite joke? It may not be scientific, but it explains the physics of how I get my energy.

26. Hydrogen and Oxygen went on a date. I heard they really bonded.

I hear they really bonded over being at the waterpark. There were even two Hydrogens there to bond with! The Hydrogen twins and Oxygen bonded so well that they turned from a gas into a liquid.

27. He threw a sodium chloride at me! That's a salt!

He threw his fists at me! It was a NaCl sandwich! Be careful when dealing with ruffians who throw salt at you... you never know when it's table salt or rock salt. One will hurt much more than the other.

28. A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs. "For you, no charge."

Guess who had to pay in the neutron's stead? I'll give you a hint: It's not the electron. Poor proton. He always has to pay while the neutron doesn't, and the bartender even pays the electron!

29. Geology rocks, but geography's where it's at.

Oooh, a double whammy. The punchline is exactly how it's worded: geology is all about the components of the earth, or rocks, while geography is the study of the earth's layout. Them sounding similar sells it.

Downloadable and Printable List of Nerd Jokes

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of hilarious nerd jokes(right-clicked the image and select Save Image As...):

Does Humor Help in Making You Smarter?

A question many people ask is if humor makes you smarter. Even if the comedy isn't designed with an intelligent audience in mind, or the humor is low-brow and simple, humor can contribute to increasing intelligence. You see, practicing humor still uses the brain - and creating good humor takes brainpower to connect the dots.

Humor is all about associations, and making them can improve your brainpower. Creating a pun, for example, causes you to think hard about a word and phonetic associations to make the pun land. Jokes without puns take concepts and try to marry them together to create a sensible but funny joke.

So, humor can help make you smarter, not just for making jokes but also for learning to associate between concepts.

Frequently Asked Questions

After reading this list, you should have plenty of funny nerd jokes to use on your friends. From jokes that are surprisingly clever to simple and classic jokes, you'll have enough jokes to last you a night of fun and then some. If you have some more questions about nerd jokes and what they're about, I've answered some frequently asked questions for you that hopefully shed more light on the subject.

Do smart people like jokes?

You might be led to believe that because smart people are more intelligent, they're above sillier things like jokes. But the truth is, even smart people can appreciate dumb humor. So, don't worry about the size of their brain - there's a joke out there that will resonate with their sense of humor.

When is the ideal time to throw a punch line?

Once you've hooked someone with the build-up, give it a few moments to build the suspense... and once they're at the height of interest, that's the time to deliver your punchline smoothly. Don't just throw punchlines directly after the lead-up; you've got to make sure they're paying attention; otherwise, the joke can fall flat.

Do nerdy puns make me seem smart?

Nerdy puns take a little bit of intelligence to understand and making them takes even more. Making a really good nerd pun can make you seem like a smarter person because of that. So, if you want to appear smarter than you look, bring out a really clever pun that will get them saying, "So true!"

What if they don't understand the joke?

Everyone's had to live with the shame of explaining a joke to someone. It can't be all bad, though. Sometimes, you just need to clarify what you mean. Even if it takes a while, they'll appreciate it regardless as long as they get the joke.

More Hilarious Jokes to Share With Your Friends

Enjoyed this list of hilarious nerd jokes but still want more? If so, we've got plenty of related posts about jokes that you might enjoy! So if you're still hungry for more, look at some of these articles we've written.

  1. Love bad puns? Who doesn't? Here are some of the greatest puns we have - from bad puns, to love puns, to music puns!
  2. Everyone knows what a good knock-knock joke is like. Here are some funny knock knock jokes for you to enjoy!

In Conclusion

Nerd jokes are great for bringing on the laughter from some of your smarter friends. These funny jokes may take a little bit of smarts, but they're much funnier because they actually make some sense. So, if you ever need a funny joke to tell some of your geek friends, these will surely help them laugh out loud!