Need a list of the best one liner jokes?
Ready for laughs? Dive in.
What is a One Liner Joke?
Just like the name implies, a one liner joke is a funny joke in which the punchline is a witty or funny one-liner. It has a similar structure to a knock knock joke where the one who makes the joke asks a question or statement, the recipient responds, and the joker finally makes the punch-line. Because of this, the one-liner is usually a striking, funny or corny joke in itself. With a winning formula similar to a knock knock joke, the endless possibilities of adding puns to the mix, and the nature of the one-liner to create an effective punchline, a one liner joke can be the funniest joke out there.
5 Best One Liner Jokes To Tell Anyone
The best jokes are those that don't take so much time to say. Short and sweet. The best one liners are those that say so much with just a simple line. You can get so many people laughing with just these short jokes.
1. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
When you're really in need, there's should be a pessimist somewhere to turn to. Just make sure nobody's already borrowed from them, and you're all set!
2. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
Now I'm getting hungry. Chicken tendies, anyone? There are great puns to be found in this list, and we're just getting started with the best one liners we could find.
3. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
We know where that habit of not reading any terms and conditions came from. This is the funniest joke to tell your Christian or Catholic friends. They should have read the fine print!
4. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine.
We can only hope the line applies to vending machines, too. Next time you're buying candy from a vending machine, better hope you'll get change for your candy money.
5. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing!
I'm a big fan of tomato salads, myself. The real question, though, is how would you know when a tomato blushes since it's already red? This funny one liner really makes you think.
5 Typical But Legendary One Liner Dad Jokes
Dad jokes are cringeworthy, am I right? But they're a whole lot of fun. Double the fun with one liner dad jokes. They're so cringy they'll make your eyes roll, but you'll be laughing deep inside.
6. A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.
Don't let a perfectionist into your bar. This corny dad joke will get the person who hears it to cringe, which means it's a very good dad joke. Will your old man laugh at this sort of thing?
7. I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’
You should teach your money to say other things, then. Sometimes the best jokes are the short jokes. A corny joke like this is both true and funny, so you've got something good going here!
8. Women should not have children after 35 — 35 children are enough!
Don't populate the world too much! Your old man has got to stop visiting the baby factory. A huge order like that will overload the system and make things complicated.
9. If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
There's no other use for that but for us to see what midnight snack we should have. How else would we be able to make the perfect midnight sandwich without any light?
10. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
You know what's also a big plus? That's a positive sign. No wonder Swiss people are always so positive! They've got plenty of cheese and money, after all.
4 One Line Jokes All Computer Geeks Could Relate
Are you ready to type in these computer jokes? One line about computers is all you need to get that conversation running in a good mood. These hilarious jokes will get the techie in you spinning.
11. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
He was way ahead of his time. He even had ten tablets! It's a shame his cloud storage could only fit ten whole lines worth of text. At least the message was really great.
12. A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
It's funny because it's true. When your computer breaks, don't you get the urge to clean your house too? I know when my internet goes down, I go do random chores to pass the time.
13. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
That's better than typing 8 random character names. And you get to choose the order in which they appear, so it might actually be a secure password after all!
4 One Liner Jokes That Are Too Corny
Not all jokes were blessed to be funny. Some of them are corny jokes, and that's alright. Sometimes, we need a switch up from the usual funny ones. We need jokes that are so corny we can't help but let out a forced laugh (that's really making us laugh deep inside).
14. I once saw two people wrapped in a barcode and had to ask — “are you an item?”
I hope they don't cringe at your question. Better also hope that one of them isn't a man with a barcode on his bald head... Better run away quick if that happens.
15. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Hard drinks would make everything worse. Soft drinks are also in softer cans than hard drinks, which are in glass bottles. So, this funny joke makes sense on multiple levels!
16. How do people make new mates? Asking for a friend.
Cracking this joke is one way. Next time you meet someone new and you want to be friends with them, crack this one liner. It'll work plenty of times.
17. Insects really bug me!
They just won't stop bugging you, right? They're such pests and they always sting to be around. Don't you just wish you could swat them away?
3 Bad One Liner Jokes To Make Someone Laugh Out Loud
Some jokes are so bad they're good. These bad jokes are just those. The best thing about this is that you won't expect a laugh from it, but when they do laugh, you know you've got the makings of a comedian.
18. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
They won't know what attacked them. Better hope the other players wise up quick. Otherwise, they may think you were faking it.
19. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.
Who knew men had just one phobia? Forgetting an anniversary is one of the cardinal sins most married men commit. If you ask them what day it is and they freak out, you may just get an apology present for your troubles.
20. Who's the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
And here I thought all along that it was eggplant. Seriously, what recipe doesn't call for a little chopped parsley on top? If the parsley starts singing and dancing, it's even more delicious.
4 Witty One Line Puns Designed For A Quick Laugh
Pun intended. Punny jokes are one of the best kinds of jokes because they're so witty. These punny one liner jokes will have people rolling on the floor laughing. Or maybe not.
21. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.
I had to use both hands. It took me lots of minutes to eat it all, and when I was done, I asked for seconds. I could go on, but there isn't much time left.
22. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
I think he stole twelve months. Better hope he stole a leap year calendar, because he'll be locked up for an extra day. Wait until next year before you steal calendars, crooks.
23. Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.
And you're now trapped. Don't say I didn't warn you! You really shouldn't just do anything anyone asks you. They may be leading you into a backwards-spelled part.
24. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
I'm not wrong, am I? Punny jokes are, in my opinion, the best kind. They mean a lot to me, like the word "many".
4 Stupid One Liner Jokes
Jokes should be funny and witty, that we all know. But there are some instances that stupid jokes take the cake. Make sure you have some stupid one liner jokes in your list of jokes for maximum fun.
25. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
Hopefully, the next owner doesn't gather dust with it. Vacuum cleaners do suck, after all. They also sometimes blow. I could go on, you know!
26. Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
What a waste of calories! At least you're now slimmer because of it. Unless... you ate the burned brownies, in which you're gaining those calories back.
27. What do you call an old snowman? Water
This joke is just so bad, but it's true! Snowmen never celebrate their first birthday after all. In the same vein, most sandcastles also don't celebrate a birthday.
28. I’m having an introvert party and you’re all not invited.
What did you expect? Better wait for an extrovert's party then. I hear everyone's invited there.
Downloadable and Printable List of Best One Liner Jokes
Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of best one liner jokes (right click the image and select Save Image As...):
How To Pick The Best One Liner Jokes
We all know that everything on this list is a great one liner joke, but how can you make sure that you pick the best ones that really suit what you're doing? That's easy because you have us. Just take these 3 things into consideration when you're picking the best one liner jokes and you'll be good to go.
1. Everyone Is Welcome.
Before you pick your jokes, consider your audience. Of course, everyone is welcome to hear your brilliant one-liner jokes, so you have to put in jokes that would work best on different types of people. Consider who you're telling the joke to and move from there.
2. Mix It Up.
Even if you might have just one type of audience, make sure that you mix your list of jokes up. When you put in just one type of joke, it can get repetitive and boring. Mix it up for maximum laughter. You can assure the people hearing your jokes that they won't get bored.
3. Deliver It Well.
A big part of saying a joke is how you deliver it. Sometimes, a joke seems good on paper, but once you tell it, it's just a miss. Make sure you put in jokes that you know you can deliver well, because your delivery is the biggest part of the joke.
Frequently Asked Questions
Armed with this list of one-liners and the knowledge on how to make your own, you should be prepared to make some witty one liner jokes. Are you still interested in learning more about these sorts of jokes? If so, I've answered some frequently asked questions that may help you improve.
Are one line jokes only for smart people?
Funny one liner jokes are something any person can enjoy. Even if they don't get the joke at first, one liners are so simple that they'll eventually understand it, and let out a laugh. And if they really don't get it, feel free to explain the joke to them. So, one liners aren't just for smart people - if they're simple enough, anyone can enjoy them!
What makes a joke funny?
Many things make a joke funny, but the best jokes are the ones that are most relatable. If the punchline is a funny fact about something that the recipient can relate to, so they both agree on it and find it funny at the same time. Have you ever heard something funny and immediately blurted out, "True!"?
How do you devise your own one liner joke?
I've already listed some helpful tips on picking the best one liner jokes, and much of that advice applies to making your own. Pick a subject, analyze it until you find something funny about it, then make a powerful punchline that will make your audience reel.
What causes someone to laugh?
Like in one of the earlier frequently asked questions, something both relatable and funny can get them to laugh. Another reason people laugh is when something lines up perfectly - like a great pun or a silly situation being totally possible. They laugh because it'd ordinarily be unlikely, but somehow perfectly lines up in the punchline.
Why is being humorous good?
As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Being a humorous person can help you find fun in anything you encounter, and helps others have fun through you. One of the most attractive qualities in a person is their sense of humor, and people would rather be friends with someone charming and funny than someone stiff and aloof.
More Hilarious Jokes to Share or Start a conversation With
If you enjoyed these one liner jokes, then it's time to spread out. You don't have to stick to short and sweet jokes. Try out some other kinds of jokes now:
- Knock knock. Who's there? This list. This list who? This list of bad knock knock jokes is so bad you just have to laugh.
- Wake up the jokester in you with this coffee jokes.
- Love jokes are the way to go when you know you're feeling comfortable with the one.
That's all the funny one liner jokes you need. It's a big list so you can always revisit for when you need a new one that you haven't included in your initial list. These one-liner jokes are short but funny. That's all that jokes really need to be. Good luck in making the world a funnier place in the shortest way possible.