Have you ever asked, "Why do I miss my ex?" This post will help you navigate the process of breakup and longing for a past relationship that was never meant to last.
It all started with deep personal questions and scrambled your brains to think of interesting things to talk about. It all went smoothly. Your romantic relationship blossomed... until you decided to call it quits. As a healthy relationship expert featured in UpJourney and Shondaland, I have also gone through good and bad relationships. Tending a broken heart is no joke, but it's all part of the healing process.
Let's move on with this one, shall we?
Why Do I Miss My Ex? Is It Normal?
It's a normal thing to miss your ex-girlfriend. It could be because of several reasons. You might be feeling lonely, afraid of being alone, or unable to find a new person who will love you again.
It could also be because you came across something that painfully reminded you of your exes, like a restaurant you went to with your ex-girlfriend or a tagged photo of your previous relationship on your social media feed.
Miss your Ex vs. Miss Being in a Relationship: How To Differentiate
Missing your ex and missing being in a romantic relationship are two different things. However, many people often confuse one with the other.
It could be tempting to enter into a new relationship for all the wrong reasons. That is why it is important to distinguish the difference between the two. These questions to ask yourself can help spare you from another painful breakup.
Here are important and life-changing questions to think about before you welcome love back into your arms:
Question #1: How does it feel to be in contact with your ex?
Not everyone might have pleasant memories with their ex. Seeing your ex after a long time could be awkward.
Question #2: Do you feel comfortable flirting with other people?
The pain of your recent breakup might still be fresh, and dating is the last thing on your mind. You don't need to rush -- love can wait and will come at the right time.
Question #3: Have you imagined being in a romantic relationship with someone else?
Feelings do not easily fade away, especially if you love the person. But at some point, you have to decide whether to reconsider your feelings and get back with your ex or move on and reserve yourself for a future romantic relationship.
Question #4: Why did you break up in the first place?
No relationships are perfect. But if it has already become toxic and taken a toll on your physical and mental well-being, it might be better to call it quits. Then again, breaking up might not be as easy as one might think.
Question #5: Do you miss someone or miss the feeling of being in love?
There is a difference between missing someone and missing being in love. You might be missing your dad, who has passed away. You might be missing that feeling of loving someone when you're in a romantic relationship. You get the idea.
Question #6: Are you ready to commit to a long-term relationship or spend some good time with yourself first?
Jumping into a new relationship after a painful breakup could mean disaster. So before you do that, make sure you have already healed and learned to love yourself first.
Question #7: What are you looking for in a new relationship?
This is one of the hardest questions to answer. Entering into a new relationship should be something you should think about twice or thrice. The last thing you want is another heartbreak.
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What To Do If You Miss Your Ex and How To Keep Your Ex Out of Your Mind
Not knowing what to do after a breakup is normal, especially if the wound in your heart is still fresh. People enter into relationships thinking that that person is the one they will end up with. Unfortunately, some turn out to be toxic relationship that is so bad they affect your mental health.
It's normal to miss an ex. It's not wrong to love someone. It so happened that it was with the bad person. But make sure not to dwell on it and start your life anew. Read on if you want to learn how to get over a breakup.
Step #1: Get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex.
It could be that photo you use as your phone wallpaper or that jacket she gave you on your last birthday. Your relationship has already ended, and so should all of the memories.
Step #2: Stop the blame game.
No matter whose fault it is why both of you broke up, the more you will think about your ex and the harder it will be to move forward.
Step #3: Don't call your ex.
If you are tempted to text or call your ex, please... don't. Period. Put the energy of wanting to text or call them elsewhere. Think that you're just bored and need an activity to get your mind off of it.
Step #4: Keep yourself preoccupied.
Take a new hobby, or rediscover an old one. Focus on activities that will enrich your skills and improve your personal and professional growth. Call a friend and invite them over for coffee or a fun game night. Register in a dating app and meet new faces.
Getting over your ex doesn't happen overnight. It could take months or even years to move on and have closure. So take your time, and you'll get past it eventually.
Step #5: Reflect on your past relationship.
What went wrong, and what you could have done to make it last. Be objective and focus on the important learnings so they won't repeat in your future relationships.
Meaningful Quotes To Keep in Mind When Moving on From Breakup
It's not an easy journey to forget old memories of love. It would take months, some even years, to get over the heartbreak. Remember, there is more to life than dwelling on the past and the "what ifs."
These quotes should help you with the process of moving on from a recent breakup:
"The easiest way to teach someone how to treat you is to refuse to give them more opportunities to hurt you. Walk away ..." - R.H. Sin
When you already see the red flags, it's time to leave an abusive relationship. Strong feelings of love are not enough to sustain a relationship. It also needs respect and knowing when enough is enough.
"Don't worry. Just when you think your life is over, a new storyline falls from the sky and lands right in your lap." - Rebekah Crane
It's not the end of the world when you and your ex breakup. Remember, there's always a rainbow after a storm. You have two choices: dwell on your pain forever or get up and start moving forward.
"One day, they'll realize they lost a diamond while playing with worthless stones." - Turcois Ominek
Your ex mistreated you. Why should you go back? You don't deserve the stress and heartaches because of that person. Go out there and live your best life without regrets, and let karma do the rest.
"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." - Elizabeth Gilbert
There is no such thing as perfect love. It involves taking risks. If you do not take risks, you'll end up with "what ifs." Even if your relationship fails, there should be no regrets because you took the chance in the first place and won't learn something out of the experience.
"The greatest win is walking away and choosing not to engage in drama and toxic energy at all." - Lalah Delia
No one wants to deal with drama and toxicity, especially in a romantic relationship. It only happens in films and TV shows, not in real life. Be brave enough to walk away from a toxic relationship and learn to love yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Getting over an ex is no walk in the park. Sometimes, you might even think of getting back together. But things happen, and it is up to you if walking away will be your biggest regret or the best thing that will happen to you.
How do you tell if your ex is pretending to be over you?
Some signals to watch out for include the following:
- Your ex is angry and blaming you for the failed relationship.
- They are persistent in reaching out to you, whether through text, private message, and the like.
- They attempt to flirt or compliment you or secretly ask about you through a mutual friend.
- Your ex attempts to sabotage any new potential relationships.
- The person also tries to make you jealous (ex., posting photos with someone else)
- Their social media pages look different -- as if they look and thrive better after your breakup.
Is it ok to tell your ex you miss them?
You should not have any contact with your ex in the first place if you want to move on. In other words, the short answer is NO.
Why do I miss my ex even though I'm in a new relationship?
One possible reason is some unresolved issues and feelings about the past relationship. Memories of your lost love may linger for some time. While it is not bad, it should not affect your current relationship. More importantly, focus on your current partner instead.
Do dumpers miss their ex?
It can happen. Dumpers might miss the person they dumped when they realize they made a big mistake of letting go of someone and regret their decision later on. The feeling of regret may not happen instantly. After a few months, dumpers will start to feel the effects of their decision.
Will I look desperate if I text my ex?
It depends on what you want to tell an ex-boyfriend. If your ex does not reply to your messages more than twice, do not send the third one anymore.
More Helpful Tips On Starting A New Relationship
After a painful breakup, you have to move on whether you like it. It will take some time, but you will get there eventually. Meet new people -- who knows when you find someone who will make you blush and be willing to take the risk of falling in love with.
- These tips on how to attract women will help you gain your confidence, get the woman of your dreams, and make her want you more.
- With these amazing and creative tips, you'll never run out of first date ideas.
- Find ways to start a conversation with these tips, and you'll never have to suffer from the awkward silence again.
Breakups can be, well... heartbreaking. Sometimes, you need to ask deep personal questions to understand yourself better and how you can deal with such kind of situation maturely. It can also be great to discuss interesting things to talk about such as these and seek insights from other people as well.
Despite this unfortunate moment, there should be no other way to move forward. Don't rush; you'll get there eventually.