So... you're planning on having a special lady stay the night at your place.
You've showered, you've shaved, you've picked up your dirty laundry... you're ready, right?
Well... here's what happens:
Your date drives over, and looking beautiful, she walks into your house. But then, after a few seconds in your bachelor pad, she looks tense... uncomfortable... even turned off.
What the heck happened?
What most guys don't realize is that women have very specific expectations when they're at your place... and here's the unfortunate thing:
Almost all of the things that she expects are things that you, as a man, wouldn't think twice about.
Frustrating, I know... but here's the good news:
Getting your house female-sleepover-ready isn't all that difficult... it's more a matter of knowing what she's looking for, and planning accordingly.
So... to help you get your house the female-ready, I put together 7 simple steps to help you easily nail her secret expectations. Follow them, and not only will your date be impressed... but she'll be excited to come over again.
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7 Things She Wishes You Did When She Stays the Night
While each of these 7 steps is equally as important, they're listed in descending order based on the amount of time you need to complete each one: a week before (#1 and #2), 24 hours before (#3, #4, and #5), and when she's actually at your house (#6 and #7).
Pro Tip: While the 7 steps below are geared towards her first time staying over, they're the things that all women want to see when they come to your house... and so, are important at any stage of a relationship.
Step #1: Get high-quality wine/beer/cocktail supplies
We've all been there:
Your first time staying the night at that special someone's house... it's fun and exciting, but also a little nerve-wracking (this is especially true for women).
Want to know one of the best ways to ease this (and to simultaneously seem like a gentleman)?
Offer her the right type of drink.
Now... to help illustrate what the right type of drink is, imagine you offer her the following two drink options:
Option #1: You open a nice bottle of wine, expertly pour two glasses, and talk about your favorite types of wine.
Option #2: You hand her a can of Coors Light, wait for her to crack it open... and then talk about how blue the mountains are.
Option #1 is clearly the better choice, right? With that example in mind, you can use your own judgement to pick the right type of drink... or you can use these basic guidelines:
- Go with wine. Since 52% of women prefer wine over beer (although, anecdotally, women do like some beer styles (often ambers /white ales)) or liquor, wine is always a safe bet. Now... everyone has their own wine preferences, but since you likely don't know hers yet, get one of the more popular types like Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Noir.
- Step it up with cocktails. Look... the cocktail you make doesn't need to be fancy, but it can't be something like a Redbull vodka. For some good cocktail ideas, check out this list of "Cocktails Women Love" from our friends at Primer. PS: to make most cocktails, you'll need a basic kit like this one.
The bottom line: Not only will this help take the edge off, but it will also help you look like a modern gentleman... who didn't just graduate from college.
Step #2: Get the underwear she hopes you're wearing
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Let me ask you a question:
Do you notice when a girl wears cute, soft, or sexy underwear? Of course you do… and guess what:
We notice yours, too.
Okay, so... what type of underwear do women like? Take a look at the following two pairs of underwear:
As I'm sure you could have guessed without the captions, we strongly prefer underwear similar to the pair on the left.
...And while all women's tastes are a little different, generally speaking, we like:
Boxer briefs. Boxer briefs (the pair on the left) are form fitting, and classically manly. Not too much, not too little. And they look (and are) comfortable, so we don't feel like you're trying too hard to impress us.
That naturally accentuate. Underwear that fits well naturally accentuate you and your body (without being uncomfortable). Compare the two pairs above, as an example of naturally accentuating (left), versus not (right).
In a tasteful, sexy color. Generally, solid colors (white, black, and blue) look the best... but to keep things fresh, it's good to have a few pairs with unique designs (like this pair above).
The bottom line: If you're still wearing low-quality or poorly-fitting underwear, it's time to upgrade. The next time you take your pants off, I guarantee your partner will be excited.
Step #3: Get rid of your funky bachelor pad odor
Want to know one of the quickest and biggest turn-offs for women?
A funky smelling bachelor pad.
...And while you may think that your apartment smells 'okay', she probably won't... and here's why:
Luckily, there are a few "usual" suspects for your funky bachelor pad odor that you can easily take care of:
In your bedroom
- Do your laundry. The longer dirty laundry sits in your hamper, the smellier it gets. Wash it all (including your sheets) so your bedroom smells clean and inviting.
- Air it out. Helpful in your whole house, but particularly helpful in your bedroom. Open a few windows to get cross ventilation.
In the rest of your house
- Clean out your fridge. Get rid of old, rotting meat, vegetables, cheese, etc.
- Take out the trash. Use disinfectant wipes to clean the inside and outside of the trash can (and be sure to add a fresh trash bag).
- Clean the toilet. Clean the bowl, lid, sides, and bottom with all-purpose cleaner.
And this is important:
So the smell is completely gone when she comes over, it's best to do all five of these 24 hours early.
The bottom line: A bad smelling bachelor pad is one of the first things a woman will notice and is an instant turn off. Take a few minutes to get rid of that bachelor pad funk.
Step #4: Make sure the rest of your house is female-sleepover-ready
This one sounds more intimidating than it actually is. To make your house female-sleepover-ready, there are two easy steps:
Step #1: Clean up the big, easily noticeable things
Step #2: Do the little things that make a big impact
Step #1: The big stuff
Let me first make something very clear:
To a woman, if a man lives in a dirty, cluttered home, he's probably lazy, disorganized and generally a slob.
So... if you don't want your house to make her think that you're a slob, take care of the big, obvious things:
- Do the dishes
- Clean the bathroom (the shower, toilet, sink and bathroom mirror)
- Pick anything up off of the ground (from dirty clothes to empty beer bottles)
- Vacuum the carpet (you may think it looks clean (no visible dirt), but she likely sees what you can’t)
Step #2: The little things
Now... these are the things that you, as a man, probably don't think about:
- Have some photos up (this is a big plus for a lot of women)
- Make sure there's a trash can in the bathroom (for feminine hygiene)
- Have toilet paper
- Have soap and a hand towel in the bathroom (otherwise, she'll question your cleanliness)
- Make your bed (shows you care about details, and is hugely more inviting should the night end up there)
The bottom line: Clean up, and get your apartment woman-ready... I promise, she'll notice and remember it.
Step #5: Set the right mood
Most men don’t pay attention to things like ambiance, lighting, or the other small details that make a space inviting...
...but women definitely do. They love when a space is cozy and welcoming... and if you take the time to make yours like this, it will do one very important thing:
Make her comfortable, relaxed and at ease.
To create the right atmosphere, your goal is simple: be normal (and don't be creepy or overtly sexual).
To help you get a good idea of how to create a "normal" atmosphere, try putting yourself in her shoes... which do you think a woman would be most comfortable walking into?
- A completely dark house, with only one light on... in the bedroom.
- A dark house, lit by tens of small candles, rose petals strewn across the house, and Marvin Gaye blasting on the speakers.
- A well, softly-lit house, without overly-sexual music playing (think John Mayer), and a movie ready on the TV.
It's clearly #3, right? #1 is creepy, #2 is coming on way too strong (for her first night)... while #3 is normal, comfortable and inviting.
The bottom line: Create a cozy, welcoming and inviting atmosphere and she’ll feel comfortable and relaxed. Don't overthink it... just be normal.
Step #6: Have a fun activity planned for when she first gets there
Here’s the thing:
She’ll definitely think it’s creepy if you open your front door and usher her right to the bedroom.
So... instead, have a fun activity planned for when she first gets there. Not only will this help you seem normal (and not overly excited), but it will break the ice and help you to warm up to each other.
Similar to step #6 above, don't overthink it... just pick something casual and relaxed:
- Watch a movie. Have one ready so you don't spend an hour searching through Netflix.
- Make drinks together. Teach her how to make your favorite cocktail, then sit somewhere and enjoy them together.
- Stargaze. Bordering on overly-romantic for her first night over... but great for couples already in a relationship.
- Just talk. Sit on the couch (not your bed), or somewhere nice, like an outdoor patio.
The bottom line: You can avoid any weirdness if you have something to do when she gets there. Combine this with the right atmosphere and she'll feel completely relaxed and comfortable.
Step #7: Make her breakfast
Women love a man who can cook.
In fact... research shows that women are more aroused when their significant other is making coffee or baking a cake, than they are when their significant other doing something stereo-typically manly (like using a power drill) source.
Getting to impress her with your cooking skills is actually a bonus... because the real reason it's so important to make her breakfast the next morning is to show her you care enough about her to spend time with her in the daylight.
She doesn't want to feel rushed off, and, since you're probably both hungry, cooking is an easy, logical way to spend a little more time together.
...And here's the best part:
You don’t have to cook an elaborate breakfast… eggs, bacon and coffee is more than enough. Remember... it's not so much what you cook, but rather why you cooked it.
The bottom line: She doesn’t want to rush off in the morning. Show her she means something to you by spending time with her in the daylight.
Look... you like this girl, and she likes you.