If you're feeling frustrated around a high-maintenance woman and want to dive deeper into understanding women, this post is for you. While there may seem to be more rules, the gist of being around them is practically the same when it comes to things women are highly attracted to.

I've spent hours compiling blogs and videos on what women want in a man and even have some thoughts published on websites like Her Norm and Ideapod. This means that you're only hearing from the expert.

Let's start.


What is a High Maintenance Woman?

A high-maintenance woman is often seen in today's society as self-obsessed with their image and how the general public perceives them. She places the utmost importance on her wants and needs and is not afraid to be vocal about this.

With the rise of social media and validation from strangers, it's no surprise that there's also a rise in the number of high-maintenance women in the dating pool.

6 Signs She is High Maintenance

Arguably there are some habits that instantly make you uglier or less desirable, but with the right kind of man, there's no woman too much to handle. With the right mix of money, patience, and effort, even a high-maintenance person can seem like a walk in the park. Who knows? Maybe you're a high-maintenance man yourself?

Sign #1: She's Self-Obsessed

To put self-obsession simply, imagine your life consisting of constant trips to the hair and nail salons in between visits with her favorite aesthetic dermatologist, all for the love of living her best Kardashian lifestyle.

As a woman who's been hounded by men her whole life, her looks are a very important aspect of her branding, so it is no surprise that her aesthetic maintenance will cost you more than just a month's worth of salary.

On the bright side, you'd never have to worry about showing her off to your friends and family, given that she always cleans up well and presents herself accordingly.

Sign #2: She Cares About What Other People Think

On the topic of presenting herself accordingly, it's not just your affirmation and praise that she looks for when she spends hours of every night religiously applying her skincare routine. Her thousands of Instagram followers and random people on the street also have a say in how she thinks of herself, and it would be an offense not to do a double-take as she walks past you on the street.

You would never catch her taking a trip to the supermarket without her perfectly pressed nails, and makeup was done to the tee. She must be the picture of envy for any other girl and the object of desire for men.

Sign #3: She tells you what to buy her

For a high-maintenance woman, you can't buy her just anything. There are only a specific number of brand names that she wants to be associated with. If this bag isn't made by Gucci himself, she wants nothing to do with it- maybe go as far as to assume you don't love her since you think her worth is only at the level of some random LV bag.

Sign #4: Materialistic things make a high-maintenance girl happy

Thinking of a perfect date? Maybe a trip to Milan and Paris' fashion district would do her some good.

You better pack light for this trip because she's coming back home with a bag 50 pounds heavier than when you left. Maybe rent out a bigger apartment with 2 rooms with a spacious storage room because that storage room's going to be your new room while she makes the second room her new walk-in closet; Kylie Jenner, who?

Sign #5: She Doesn't Have Many Good Female Friends

As a woman who constantly sees herself competing with the whole female population, it comes as no surprise that it's harder than usual to keep genuine friendships with other women. With the dawn of social media, it's hard not to compare yourself to others, and your friends are no exception to this. When women want to feel less inferior to others, they tend to stay away from those who are too self-obsessed and conscious of their image.

Sign #6: A high-maintenance girl takes ages to get ready

If your dinner reservation's at 9 PM, best believe she's already getting ready for this at 10 AM with her outfit already planned out the week before. Even if she isn't going to be setting foot off that car, she still has to know that if someone sees her through the passenger side window, she's still looking her 100% best.

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Pros and Cons of Dating a High-Maintenance Lady

Dating a high-maintenance lady has its pros and cons. The good thing is, it's all about finding the right balance between a healthy relationship and thoughts of "is she using me?". Once you strike that balance and learn to set proper boundaries, the cons won't get in the way, and you'll start to see the value of the pros of her character.


Dating a high-maintenance girl comes with a good side. Like any other situation, knowing what those pros are can help you understand where she is coming from and why she acts the way she does. Plus, it'll also give you valuable insight into what she likes and how to make her more comfortable without compromising your happiness.

She'll Likely Push You To Greatness

On the topic of settling, remember, she won't just date anyone with good looks and money. She will light a fire in you to always be better and do better because if she can achieve and get whatever she wants, then you can do so too.

She's Probably Fit & Healthy

You can't be the perfect girl with just the perfect face. You need to have a rocking body to match it. Imaginably she's on an all-vegan diet, clocking in more than 2 hours in the gym every day to maintain that "hot girl summer" body but don't expect her to be the one to carry all the groceries into the house; this physique is purely for aesthetic purposes.

She'll Age Better

Providing for a high-maintenance girl is like investing in her future. All that skincare she's constantly asking you to buy will eventually be worth it when she hits her 40s. As the saying goes, she will age like fine wine because of the healthy lifestyle she disciplines herself with.

She's A Challenge

Challenge accepted. She's going to push you past your boundaries and make you live life outside your comfort zone. She may be a challenge, but she's a challenge that'll build your character and make you a better & stronger person. You can expect that when you have children, she'll pass along these standards to them, and they won't be settling for anything less than perfect for themselves as well.

She's sugar and spice and everything nice

Just like your love-hate relationship with anything spicy, she will leave you wanting more, and even though the trip to the bathroom later will be less than pleasant, you'll still choose this love-hate excitement every single day. There will never be a dull moment when you're with her. Life will surely be an adventure with the many places she'll bring you.


With the pros come the cons. While it can be disheartening to experience the "mean girls" cons to her character, they are part of who she is. Learning those cons can prepare you for difficult days and hopefully glean more understanding so you can adjust and see how you can get through them without causing too much of a fuss.

She Treats You Like An Errand Boy

If she's the queen, then you're the errand boy. Better be ready to carry all her designer handbags when you go shopping, open every door for her, and roll out the red carpet when she arrives. Your job doesn't end when you clock out at 5 because as soon as you get home, you have your beautiful queen waiting for you to service her.

And there's no saying "No" or "Later" to any of her requests. Everything important to you becomes a second priority if she needs you to do something for her. Sometimes you might even ask, "Is she just using me?".

She's Controlling

Her schedule is your schedule, be prepared to plan your whole day- and maybe life- around her. She will present you with a rule book as thick as a dictionary of the Do's and Don't's in your relationship. She will be vocal when she doesn't like what she sees, and there has to be a change done on your part, anything to make her more comfortable and secure in the relationship.

She criticizes your dressing style.

You'd most likely end up as her life-sized Ken doll when she tells you what to wear and what not to wear. Your closet may not be as big as hers by a long shot, but you will have a considerable increase in your wardrobe. You're going to be wearing more than your typical black shirt, jeans, and better shoes, and maybe today you'll be preppy, then tomorrow you'll be smarter- casual, who knows?

Forget offering to split the bill, and she always makes you pay

Your wallet is her wallet. She might not even bring a wallet when you both go out. She expects that you shoulder all bills because it's the "chivalrous" thing to do when asking a pretty girl out on a date.

She Always Plays the Victim

Compromise will be one major player for you but quite a foreign concept for her. Being with a high-maintenance girlfriend will require a lot of affection to meet some of her unreasonable demands. Gently working towards compromise can do the trick, and adding in some effort as her partner is a trait you'll need to learn.

High Maintenance Woman vs. High-Valued Woman - What's The Difference?

The main difference between a High Maintenance Woman and a High-Valued Woman is how secure the women are within themselves. You can read more about spotting the difference on this website.

Compared to a low-maintenance woman, a high-maintenance woman is said to have great insecurities within herself. This makes her act outward to the point of overcompensation through the validation and praise from others. Your presence in her life is for her self-worth and ego, showing her sense of entitlement for these.

On the other hand, a high-value woman has a strong sense of self-worth with high expectations in meeting her life goals. High-valued women are secure with themselves, thus setting a high standard for their partner as well; they see their partners as ones that add to their lives instead of being the root of affirmation.

Another difference is how they "settle" with their chosen partners. High-maintenance women feel like they're only settling with their chosen partner, given that they put themselves above the other. Still, high-valued women see their partner as a companion, not someone ranked higher or lower than themselves.

How To Date a High Maintenance Girl - 5 Tips

If you are lucky enough to be dating a high-maintenance girl, you would have to get used to the fact that she will be demanding and critical. However, know that this comes with your best interest at heart. She may seem pushy or demanding, but in reality, it's all about helping you become a better version of yourself.

Tip #1: Don't Be Afraid To Communicate Your Thoughts

Don't let a high-maintenance woman ever take away your voice and ability to communicate your boundaries, needs, and feelings in the relationship. Give yourself some time to compose your thoughts before approaching her because not only is content important, but timing is also. Emotional openness goes a long way in making you more comfortable around each other.

Tip #2: Take Everything With Patience And Understanding

Remember not to take everything personally when she's done something to offend you. The majority of the time, this is unintentional but still triggering. You would need to learn to be more patient and understanding in the relationship when conflicts arise.

Tip #3: Set boundaries

Make your capabilities and priorities clear to your partner. Let her know your daily schedule and plans for the future with your finances. Talking about this topic goes hand in hand with your communication with her.

Tip #4: Pay Attention To The Little Things

Don't just compliment the main things that anyone could notice but pay attention to the little things too, talk to her about her improving complexion or how the color red wine suits her skin type. She will appreciate you more for looking at the small things.

Tip #5: Learn about the things she loves

If binge-watching makeup gurus on youtube are what gets you one step closer to knowing her more, then watching a 20-minute video won't hurt. Take some extra steps to see why she loves the things she does or the things she buys. Why is that expensive small handbag a better choice than that functional chunky bag?

If you think being in a relationship with a high-maintenance woman can't come to any good, then you are wrong. There are tons of successful female celebrities well known for being high maintenance. Even they admit to it. But, being high maintenance, so long as it is controlled, can lead to a strong personality that lets them achieve their goals and aspirations faster than others.

1. Mariah Carey

The queen of high maintenance herself is well-known for her controlling and diva attitude on and off stage. She is not shy to let everyone know her opinion on things, especially when they are not going according to how she envisions it in her head. She was also not shy to spend thousands of dollars on small things like champagne, given that her net worth's millions.

2. Katy Perry

Although Katy Perry has toned down her high-maintenance diva attitude throughout the years, she is rumored to have her staff do a variety of things for her whenever she does not feel like doing them herself. It's known in the industry that she was hard on her chauffeurs, saying that they don't look at her while she's in the car or not leave her alone when it either.

3. Ellen DeGeneres

Her OCD attitude on set revealed that the talk show host was not very kind to her staff, often imposing ridiculous rules around the set whenever she would be around. She was very particular with what she would eat; if these weren't met, she would refuse to eat her food or feed her staff. Something as little as eye contact with her was also forbidden.

4. Christina Aguilera

The Voice judge would often tell the staff that they would have to reshoot whenever she felt that she did not look good on camera. She was notoriously known for being late and unapologetic about her behavior during filming. Just like Mariah Carey, she was a perfectionist who wanted things done her way.

5. Jennifer Lopez

Yet another diva would throw tantrums on set if people did not meet her standards. She was very well known for getting so angry that she would fire her staff on the spot whenever she felt like it. She also loved to spoil herself while on tour by demanding private plans and personal chefs in her 5-star hotel room.

6. Rihanna

The pop star spoils herself with her very specific demands on how certain items should look; if her throw rug and candles aren't in the exact shape and color she wants, then she would refuse to take them. She is well known for her down-to-earth attitude, but when it comes to materialistic things, she becomes a true diva, like so many on this list.

Frequently Asked Questions

Being with a high-maintenance person takes a lot of patience and understanding. It will leave you with many questions and lessons to learn.  Here are some common questions you may have about a high-maintenance relationship:

What should I say to let her know she's beautiful without even trying?

Actions speak louder than words. If you show a high-maintenance person their worth and beauty through your actions, then no words need to be said.

How can I tell if she's only after me buying her expensive gifts?

The best way to tell is her ability to resolve conflict when you don't give in to what she demands. She should also be able to respect your boundaries as you do with her.

What should I do to make her happy without the finer things in life?

Learn about her other love languages; maybe she's also the type who prefers physical touch or quality time together. Finer things in life are a huge bonus for her, but both of you should still be happy even without them.

How can I encourage her to live a simpler life?

Only through time will she realize that happiness isn't measured by how much you have in your bank account but by the quality of life, even when living a simple life. You cannot force her to this conclusion because it must come from her to believe it.

More Tips on How To Get The Girl

Do you need more guides to help you get her attention? Worry not. We have more articles for you to read.

  1. Knowing how to make her chase you balance the scales so you can get some pampering and love too. Read up on the topics and see how it's done!
  2. If you want to make a girl crazy for you, following the right tips and advice can make it happen.
  3. The right compliments for girls can bring her closer to you for a more meaningful relationship that you both will love.

In Conclusion

Dating a high-maintenance woman does not have to be all bad. Knowing why her character acts the way it does and how to approach her about certain topics and situations can make dating her easier. This is important if you care for her greatly and wish to build a strong and long-lasting relationship with her. Just remember to take care of yourself too!