Are you asking yourself the question, "Is she using me?" Gentlemen, today we’re showing you the 10 most common signs she’s using you.
Getting burned by a girl doesn’t just hurt your feel bads; It’s a colossal waste of time you could have been spending with someone better.
10 Signs She’s Using You (and Doesn’t Like You)
So if you find yourself constantly wondering, “is she using me?”, keep watching. And to make sure you don’t misread the signs and chase off a girl who actually might be into you, we’re also going to show you the most common sign that mistakenly turns guys away.
Here are 10 signs she's using you (and doesn't like you):
10. She’s a Payday Regular
Alright guys, the truth is… sometimes a girl’s just gotta eat.
If there’s a girl in your life that never seems to commit to hanging with you, and then, every couple weeks just before payday, the secret vortex to her social calendar suddenly opens up.
You can be sure of one thing: she’s definitely using you. It’s one of the main reasons why nice guys finish last.
If she knows you’re the chivalrous type, who will always offer to pick up the tab, then you may find yourself stuck with a payday regular… Stop asking yourself, "is she using me?" Because it’s time to move on.
9. She Won’t Commit to Hanging Alone
If every time you try and make plans to hang out, she invites you along to a group hang, there’s a good chance she’s not comfortable hanging out one on one.
And sure, the group hang is perfectly normal in the budding stages of a new relationship. But if you find yourself stuck there like a Dantesque circle of hell, it’s one of the obvious signs a girl doesn’t like you.
8. She Slowly Fades into Casper the Unfriendly Ghost
Wondering how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you?
If you get the sense you’re a victim of the “slow fade” or that you’re being “ghosted”, follow this one very simple principle: it’s the same rule your t-ball coach taught you back when girls had cooties and the ice cream man was king.
It’s the 3 strikes and you’re out rule, and this is how it works. If you’ve reached out to a girl and received no response 3 times in a row, it’s time to write her off your list and move on, but make sure not to burn bridges and make your last message as polite and inviting as possible.
Just in case she like... ya know… befell some tragedy and can’t be reached.
7. She’s Immune to Your Mojo
If there’s a girl in your life who doesn’t respond to any of your flirtatious efforts, and you’re confident you’re not committing the most common creeper fails? (Better check out this vid on “how to flirt without being creepy” just to be sure: How to Flirt Without Being Creepy - 11 Flirting Mistakes + Fails (that Creep Girls Out)
Be on the lookout for one of these familiar signs a girl is using you and doesn’t like you back. When you try and flirt with her, she immediately changes the conversation. She might try and make it obvious like going out of her way to mention some other guy, or she might be more subtle and jump to a safe topic like work or the weather.
But if when you attempt to lay on the charm, you get a big old bucket of cold nothing in return, you can stop asking yourself, “is she using me?”. ‘Cause she is, and it’s time to move on.
6. She Only Calls When She Needs Something
Want to really know how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you?
Think about the last few times your girl has reached out to you. Was she in a bind that she couldn’t get out of herself? Does she go dormant like a hibernating bear, only to reappear out of nowhere with an SOS text?
Because that’s one of the most obvious signs you’re in the friendzone. If she only comes calling when she needs something from you, it means you’re not on her mind when life is good, only when she’s in a jamb.
And do you know who else she calls when she’s in a jamb? Her Uncle Bob. Sorry, bro, but you’re certified uncle status, or in what is more commonly known as the friendzone.
5. Messy Hair, Just Don’t Care
Alright, guys. Here’s how to know a girl is using you and she just isn’t that into you.
If a girl is totally into you, she’ll reveal some of those tall tell body language signs she’s attracted to you. And the most obvious one to look out for is the quick, on the fly hair groom.
We’ve said it before, when a girl is into a guy, she’ll make some quick adjustments to her hair or clothes to straighten out her look. And while these subconscious body language signs don’t always mean she’s definitely into you, you can be sure of one thing: if you never catch these body language signs when you’re with her, she’s not concerned with what you think about her appearance.
It’s one of those subconscious signs of attraction that, when it happens, it means she might be into you. But when it’s missing, it’s much clearer: she’s hanging with you for other reasons.
4. She Doesn’t Listen
If a girl is truly into you, she will listen to what you have to say… like all of it… and carefully file it all away.
So if you find yourself with a girl who can’t seem to holster her scrolling thumb for long enough to hear about your day, she’s not hanging with you for the same reasons you’re hanging with her.
This is one of the main signs she’s using you, and she doesn’t like you.
3. Caution, One Way
If you’ve ever accidentally driven down a one way street, it becomes obvious fairly quickly that something’s not right, especially when there’s what looks like a crazy person chasing down your car while shouting at you and flailing their arms.
Sadly, one-way relationships aren’t as obvious one way streets... Unless you’re paying attention. And one of the signs she’s using you is when your conversations with her aren’t really conversations at all and you’re the one putting in all the effort.
Does she ask questions about your life or just quietly sit there until you ask her a question? Are her texts to you uninspired and short?
The thing is… If you ever get the feeling you’re the one putting in all the legwork, you should listen to that feeling because your instincts are telling you she doesn’t like you as much as you like her, and it’s time to give it up.
2. She Has a Reputation
When you meet a girl you like, it’s ridiculously easy to get tunnel vision and ignore all the red flags you should be on the lookout for.
Luckily, other people don’t get those hearts in their eyes, and if the people who care about you or those who have known her longer than you have tell you that she’s bad news, you need to listen to them.
Because no matter how much you tell yourself that she wouldn’t do that to you, if she has a reputation, she already is. And she’s a pro at it.
1. Time Has Told
You’ve heard the saying, “Only time will tell” before, haven’t you?
In lots of situations - especially when you’re trying to get a girl to like you - It’s a smart idea to keep that saying in mind, because sometimes a girl just isn’t quite sure if she wants to date you yet.
But if you and her have spent countless hours together and your relationship is just as stagnant as it was when you first met, time has told... And it’s about time you ask her what, exactly your relationship means to her.
Maybe she just sees you as a friend, which is okay as long as you can be friends without letting your feelings get in the way. But if you’ve spent months hanging with her and you’ve noticed any of the other signs on this list, she’s definitely using you… And you need to let her go.
The One Most Common Misread Sign That Could Throw You off Track
As promised, here is the one most common misread sign that could cause you to throw in the towel prematurely.
Sometimes, it’s too easy to be lulled into the assumption that dating behavior is all neat and tidy and easily classifiable. But in reality, it’s all super complicated, especially when factoring in the virtual dating world of texting and social media.
People in America are busier and working more hours per week than ever before, so don’t be too quick to judge your girl’s behavior.
If there’s one most common mistake guys make when trying to figure out “is she using me?” It’s to be too impatient. If you sent a message to a girl out into the ether and got nothing but crickets in response, there’s a very good chance that she’s been consumed with work.
Follow the 3 strikes and you’re out rule that we discussed before, and give her at least through the weekend to catch up on her life and muster up a response before you completely write her off.
Those are the 10 most common signs she’s using you and the 1 sign that’s commonly misread.
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