MNTL Team | Oct 11, 2018 | 0
How to Get a Girl to Like You [From Her]
If you’re like most guys, you’ve probably wondered how to get a girl to like you.
It’s such a common thought because most men think that girls are too picky/hard to impress, and that it’s impossible to make those girls like them.
…And that exact moment, when those negative thoughts race in, is where most men will give up before they even speak to that girl.
That’s why I want to help. You absolutely can start to make her like you, even from the moment you meet… if you have a powerful set of insider tips to help you (and of course that’s what’s below).
Now, I understand if it seems like I’m promising the impossible… but if you’re prepared to follow my one (pretty surprising) rule and its seven easy tips on how to make a girl like you… you really can get almost any woman to like you right off the bat.
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How to Make a Girl Like You: 1 Rule + 7 Tips
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Nothing you do can force women to instantly love you… but if you follow my 7 simple tips (which all fall under one extremely powerful rule), you can immediately become more attractive to women, meaning they’re 1000x more likely to like you.
You should read the explanation below of that most important rule I mentioned… because if you don’t, the 7 tips won’t make as much sense. But just so you know where this article is heading, here are the 7 most powerful tips on how to get a girl to like you:
The Most Important Rule To Follow To Get Girls to Like You
If you read our post on overcoming approach anxiety, you already know that the best (and really, the only important) approach technique is to focus on connecting with her, instead of using ‘tricks’ to pick her up.
…And that same type of rule now applies to making her like you:
You have to focus on something other than ‘tricks’ to get her to like you… focus on showing her your ‘real’ self (be genuine). Here’s why that’s so powerful:
Imagine you approach a woman and attempt to get her to like you with a set of rehearsed lines/’moves’. The only two results that will come from that are:
- She’ll see right through your rehearsed ‘front’, and be immediately turned-off, because she’ll associate you with lying (and pro tip… women see through this fake front very often)
- She’ll buy into your fake persona, and then be incredibly disappointed when she discovers what you’re really like
…And neither of those options sound really appealing, right?
On the other hand:
You can approach a woman as your real, genuine self, and show her what an approachable, friendly, natural man you are. And if that natural connection exists between you after that, you’re in for an incredibly passionate time with a woman who really wants to see you again.
Doesn’t that sound way better than being uptight and ‘performing’ for her all night?
7 Tips for How to Make a Girl Genuinely Like You… At the Moment You Meet
As you read these 7 tips, remember that being genuine is still the best thing way to get girls to like you (and of course, all of these tips are specially designed to attract women without being fake).
…And not only will she be attracted to the real you, but she’ll also feel incredibly relaxed as you talk to her (rehearsed, fake approaches can actually make girls just as nervous as they make you).
And ps: since these tips + my one rule above aren’t ‘trick’s they’ll work no matter how old you are, or what station you are in life (30’s, 20’s, college, high school… even middle school).
Tip #1: Make Eye Contact First
Reason: Make Her See That You’re Friendly
…And because they’re doing that, they forget one of the most natural steps in meeting a new person:
They stand close to a girl, and deliver their line before they either forget it or lose their nerve… and they don’t realize that to her, it’s jarring (and feels forced) to hear a random greeting before she even sees the person saying it.
…So before you speak at all, position yourself near her for a few minutes (go next to her to order a drink, warm up close to her on the track, browse near her in the store). Then when you catch her eye, smile, and a few seconds later, say hey to her.
Initiating eye contact like that can make her like you (because she feels that you’re friendly) immensely more before you even have to speak.
Tip #2: Naturally Boost Your Confidence & Attractiveness With Your Posture
Reason: Project Genuine (And Highly Attractive) Confidence
This tip is incredibly simple: stand or sit up straight when you talk to a girl.
I mentioned the importance of this in our article on approach anxiety… because it honestly is the best (most powerful and natural) thing you can do for your confidence and attractiveness. Here’s why:
1. Good posture instantly boosts confidence.
Good posture instantly makes you feel taller and more powerful when you approach a woman. source, 2 And the best part? This step, unlike other body language tricks, is so incredibly easy to do that it won’t take your focus off her and the moment (see tip #3 below).
2. Good posture highly boosts natural attractiveness.
I mentioned that you feel taller/more powerful with good posture… and that not only helps how you feel, but it helps you how she sees you. source You immediately project a tall, powerful confidence (and do I really need to tell you that confidence is attractive?).
Here’s the bottom line:
Tip #3: …And Don’t Focus on Any Other Body Language
Reason: Show You’re Focused on Getting to Know Her
A lot of tips on how to get a girl to like you will tell you ‘read’ her body language, and make sure your own body language sends the right signals. We actually have our own extremely helpful post on this exact topic.
…But here’s the thing:
Even though body language is a highly effective way to signal to a girl that you like her (and to tell if she’s into you), focusing overly hard on reading her body language will not make her like you.
Women like men who listen to them (see #1 on this list of things women want, from professional dating experts)… and if you can intently listen to her words while also seamlessly reading her body language, that’s great… but most men can’t equally focus on both.
…So choose to really listen to her words (even interview her in a way). She’ll be insanely attracted to your genuine interest (and you can save body language reading for when you’ve already become friends with her).
Tip #4: Just Say ‘Hey’
Reason: Approach in a Non-Intimidating, Genuine Way
I get it… this one sounds a little obvious. But let me explain what I really mean:
Don’t overwork your introduction to her. After you make eye contact, smile, and show her your good posture, it’s time to actually speak to her… and in that moment, the power of a simple ‘hey’ becomes pretty incredible.
Women (especially attractive women) have heard hundreds of creative, attention-getting openers from men. But the overwhelmingly simple ‘hey’ is refreshing for two big reasons:
1. It puts no pressure on her
Clever/creative lines and weird/random questions pressure her to laugh (when she’s usually not that entertained), or pressure her to answer your question (when she doesn’t even know yet if she wants to talk to you).
…But ‘hey’ lets her get a good look at you before she’s pressured to speak at all, and it actually makes her want to talk to you more.
2. It’s an incredibly natural thing to say
If you weren’t meeting this girl for the first time, how would you greet her? You’d say ‘hey’, almost every time. That means that saying ‘hey’ right off the bat (with a smile) makes you seem more like a comfortable friend, instead of an anxious stranger.
…And it gets better:
‘Hey’ doesn’t just help her feel more comfortable… it helps you too. You can’t possibly mess up the delivery of ‘hey’, and it’ll almost always get a smile and a ‘hey’ back.
Now: the next two tips cover what to say after ‘hey’, but remember this with both:
Just like ‘hey’ doesn’t sound rehearsed at all, your conversation shouldn’t either. Have an idea of what you’ll talk about, but don’t actually practice it. That way, every single thing you say to her seems incredibly genuine (and so attractive).
Tip #5: Talk About Your Common Interest
Reason: Make Her Immediately Feel a Genuine Connection
Now… I know what you’re thinking:
How the hell do you know if you and this woman you just met have a common interest?
Well, if you followed step 2 of our approach anxiety guide, you’re attempting to talk to women in a place where you already have a common interest (coffee shops, parks, gyms, or bookstores). That way, your natural connection is obvious… you have a common interest in that place!
Now, use that common interest to your advantage. After you say ‘hey’, talk about the interest you share. For example:
Waiting for the bartender at a local brewery: “This place has the best microbrew selection. Have you tried it?” or “I’m new to this place… what would you order?”
At a store: “I’m getting a gift for my sister/friend… which of these two things would you choose?” or “I’m picking out a suit for a wedding. Which tie do you think looks best with this shirt?”
At a park: “We need another player for Frisbee/darts/any game. Would you want to play?” (Works in a bar, too!) or “What’s the best running/biking trail around here?”
…Now, you might have noticed that most of those ideas were questions. Questions are a powerful way to break the ice, because they immediately tell her that you value her ideas (and being valued is a hugely desired trait for women).
But here’s the most important thing to remember with any of these ideas:
They have to be genuine… meaning don’t ask a girl who’s drinking wine what beer she would order, or a girl in sweaty gym clothes for fashion advice, or a girl who’s running with headphones in if she wants to play Frisbee.
…And remember, no matter what you say/who you say it to, don’t rehearse it:
Just think something like “I’m going to ask her which tie to choose”, walk up (say hey), and ask in the most natural, unpracticed language possible. That’s what a genuine approach looks like, and it’s genuinely attractive.
Tip #6: …Or Mention Something Noteworthy
Reason: Create a Memorable Meeting
What’s a noteworthy circumstance… and why does it help?
It’s something big that happens right in front of both of you… like a man proposing to his girlfriend in a public place, a drunk passerby doing something crazy, a power outage, etc.
…And it helps by instantly giving you something to talk about, that you both experienced, and that she hasn’t talked about to anyone else yet.
In other words… a perfect icebreaker has been dropped in your lap, and you can discuss it with this girl for the first time.
…And it even makes meeting you more memorable, since she’ll remember the funny/interesting/crazy situation that prompted you to talk to her.
These big, random moments don’t always happen when you need that icebreaker, so you shouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of them when they do!
Tip #7: Let the Conversation Flow… Or Move On
Reason: Stop Getting Rejected
I usually communicate this tip to guys who want to make girls like them with the rhyme ‘let it flow or let it go’ (I know it’s cheesy, but it’s easy to remember).
Here’s what both parts mean:
Let it flow
Your goal is to learn as much about her as you can, and find out if she’s worth your time… and that means you need to focus on her and the conversation (and not the outcomes (like getting her number asap), or the way you appear to her (makes you seem un-genuine and self-absorbed)).
By focusing on the conversation like that, you’ll create a conversational flow that makes talking actually fun (and you’re way more likely to get a number/date from a girl who has fun with you).
Let it go
With the above tip:
If she’s not allowing the conversation to flow (she looks down at her phone, gives one-word responses, or tells you she has a boyfriend), you have to let her go and find another, friendlier girl to talk to. Tell this girl a genuinely polite ‘nice talking to you’, and say you have to get going. Then simply walk away.
…And you’ll find that letting her go like that isn’t only simple… it’s also empowering:
If you’re the one who walks away from a girl, then you’re rejecting her, instead of feeling like it’s the other way around. If you make this your common practice, rude girls will never reject you again, and you’ll spend more time with great girls that you can get to like you!
Doesn’t that sound way more fun?
7 Tips for How to Make a Girl Genuinely Like You… After You Get to Know Her
To get her to like you, the best tip is still to be genuine… in other words, to show her your real self (and what a great boyfriend you’d be), and show her that you like her (be honest about your feelings).
…And just like above, there are 7 powerful tips on how to make a girl like you, that you’ve known for a while (without even needing a fake ‘front’):
Tip #8: Now Start to Consider Your Body Language
Reason: Send Her Genuine Signals that You’re Interested
I mentioned above to only concentrate on body language after you’ve gotten to know a girl (had more than one meeting)… because if you concentrate on reading her instead of listening, she’ll get a bad first impression of you: a guy who doesn’t focus on what she’s saying.
…But after you’ve made a good first impression, you can ‘read’ her subconscious, genuine feelings through her body language… and send those same body language signals to her.
Now… here’s her body language signs to look for (all of these indicate that she likes you):
- Mimicking. If she’s interested, she’ll copy your body language subconsciously (she’ll move when you move).
- Higher/faster tone of voice. Women tend to talk faster to a man they like, and their voice pitch increases as a result.
- Direction of her feet. She’ll subconsciously stand/sit with her toes pointed toward whoever she’s paying the most attention to.
- Open body. She’ll close her body (with her crossed arms, purse, or other obstacle) when she’s talking to someone she doesn’t like.
- Looking at you before speaking to someone else. She’s subtly glancing to see if you’re paying attention to what she’s about to say.
…And after you’ve seen some signs she likes you, send the same signals back: mimic her stance, look at her before talking to someone else, point your feet toward her, and open your body to her… and she’ll subconsciously start to think that you like her, too.
Pro tip: Remember to still spend just a moment looking for these signals. Keep your primary focus on her words.
Tip #9: Lightly Tease Her
Reason: Show her You Don’t See Her as a Friend
Many girls like light teasing/making fun as a form of flirting… it shows you have a sense of humor, and that you’re a genuinely fun and clever guy.
But there’s actually another big reason that teasing is a powerful way to make a girl like you:
It puts her in a different class than a ‘friend’ (it makes her feel like a romantic interest). Girls normally don’t get teased by guys that aren’t romantically interested in them… and she knows that, so she sees teasing as a playful flirting tactic that you only do with her.
So tease her lightly about her goofiness, things she likes, teams she roots for, etc.
…And guys, keep the teasing romantic, not platonic. For example, these types of teasing send the wrong (not-romantic) message:
- Teasing too roughly. If you’re too aggressive with your teasing (too personal, or just mean), she will get the message that you’re interested, but won’t like it. For her, teasing is only fun if she knows you respect her too much to cross the line.
- Teasing her the same as your friends. If you tease her like you tease guys, you’re telling her she’s just like your friends. And that’s not what you want, right? So don’t tease her about her appearance, intelligence, or attractiveness/success with men. Those are ‘guy topics’… stick to friendlier teasing.
…But if you do tease her lightly and playfully (not too mean or personal), she’ll get the message that you’re interested, and like you incredibly more.
Tip #10: Treat Her Differently Than You Treat Your Friends
Reason: Openly Show Her She’s Special
With the above tip:
I explained why it’s important to tease her differently than your friends… and it makes sense, right? You don’t want her to think of herself as your friend… you want her to think of herself as your love interest (or even your girlfriend).
There are other ways than teasing to treat her like your girlfriend. Try any of these things (that you probably don’t do with guys, or girls who are just friends):
Physically treat her differently: open doors for only her, walk next to her in a group, and playfully touch her arm or shoulder when you talk to her
Verbally treat her differently: don’t talk to her like a friend (no rough teasing, and don’t mention exes), ask for only her opinion on things you should do, and give her thoughtful compliments
Emotionally treat her differently: remember little things she says, brag about her to others, and share more personal information with her than you do friends
Here’s the bottom line, guys:
Instead of hiding how you genuinely feel, just show her! It may seem scary, but if you want to know how to make a girl like you… this is one of the most powerful ways and could hugely pay off… she could become your girlfriend much sooner if you start treating her like one.
Tip #11: Don’t Be Afraid to Make Fun of Yourself
Reason: Attract Her to the Real, Confident You
Here’s a really obvious question, guys:
Do you want an insecure, self-centered girlfriend who constantly needs validation?
Of course not. And she doesn’t want a boyfriend like that either… which is why she’s immediately turned off when guys are too afraid/insecure to laugh at themselves.
…Because if you’re that concerned with how others see you, it shows that you’re self-centered, and too insecure to be genuine.
…And in case you don’t already know, confidence and genuineness (even being goofy) are insanely attractive to women.
So show her that you’re confident enough to laugh at yourself, and that you care way more about getting a genuine laugh out of her, than how you look to others.
That focus on her is insanely attractive, and will almost always make her like you even more.
Tip #12: …But Also Don’t Be Afraid to Show Her How Great You Are
Reason: Show Her That You’re Absolutely ‘Boyfriend Material’
I mentioned above that the confidence to laugh at yourself is extremely attractive to women.
…And it’s true… but that’s not the only thing you have to be confident about, right?
You’re a man with definite talents and skills: sports, trivia, acting, teaching, music, building, or even just solving problems… my point is, there’s something that you really shine at, and you should unashamedly show her what it is.
So invite her to watch your next match, have her tag along to trivia night, let her pick you up from volunteering, or just let her see how well you could help her solve problems. In other words… let her see you do anything that sets you apart from other men.
…And here’s what will happen when you do (two things):
- She’ll be insanely impressed with whatever your talent is (and girls like men who are talented/skilled).
- You’ll be in a zone where you feel insanely confident (knowing that your talent or skill is great), and you’ll genuinely project that confidence.
Tip #13: Bring Up Things She’s Mentioned Before
Reason: She Wants a Man Who Shows That He Cares
Here’s the thing:
Casual guy/girl friends usually don’t remember and ‘check in’ about big events. Boyfriends do.
…So if she mentioned she has a test, out of town visit, new job, or anything big, ask her (even text her) about it later.
Asking about big moments like that instantly makes you seem like a caring boyfriend, a good listener, and a guy who treats her like she’s special… in other words, like you’re exactly the type of man she wants to be with.
So show her you genuinely care about her life by remembering (and asking) about her big moments.
Tip #14: Ask Her Out
Reason: It’s the Most Genuine Way to Show Interest
This tip is pretty simple:
Ask her out… because if you never get around to this exact step, all these tips have been for nothing. Right?
…And guys, make sure you don’t wait too long before getting to this tip… because there’s a serious risk that if you wait too long, she’ll lose interest in your as a ‘boyfriend’, and think of you as just a friend.
…So if you just met this girl, ask her out within a couple days at the longest… but if you’ve known her for a while, when to ask her out gets a little more complicated. Here are some tips to help:
If you know her casually (you’re not close friends), ask her out as soon as possible. Use a few of our tips to make her like you, then ask her out the same day. Don’t waste any more time not showing her you’d be a great boyfriend!
If you know her well, distance yourself for a while before you ask her out (make her miss you). This is also true if she just got out of a relationship… you want her to see you as a new boyfriend, not a friend to talk about feelings with (right?) Distance yourself, then the next time you see her, try out some of our tips, then ask her out.
Now stop reading about this, and go make girls powerfully like you!
The ways on how to get a girl to like you are incredibly simple once you follow the one, hugely important rule I laid out above.
…And the 7 tips that follow that important rule will make you so much more attractive, that you should notice a huge improvement in the number (and quality) of girls that will like you.