This guide on how to text a girl is precisely what you need. If you're wondering how to start a conversation with a girl over text, then this list is for you.

I've written many posts about how to get a girlfriend or make her want you. My expertise in conversation has been featured on Bolde. So, I'm your guy when it comes to text conversation starters!

Let's begin!


27 Tips on How To Text A Girl

You don't have to be a poet to be good at text messaging. And you don't have to download a ton of strange apps to make your messages do complicated things either. The keys to texting women are much more straightforward than that. In most cases, they come down to rules we can all live by: Be polite, show respect, and have fun.

Following these tips will help make the meaning of your messages clear. It'll also make you more attractive to her, and let her know that you're interested in her. Some of those rules leave a lot of grey areas, so use the tips below to guide you until you master the art of texting a girl.

1. Text her within 24 hours of meeting her

Have you heard the dating ‘rule’ that you must wait three days to call a girl after you meet? Well, get this: Most girls now expect men to contact them within 24 hours of meeting.

Why is that? Because it’s incredibly easy to get in touch (you can text, call, Facetime, Facebook, etc.). So if you wait much longer than 24 hours before texting her, she’ll think you aren’t interested. If you want to make her feel like you really want to talk to her, then by all means, talk to her.

Good texts to send:

“Hey (her name), it’s Ryan from this morning's meeting!”

“Hi (her name), I’m glad Stella introduced us yesterday.”

These texts are simple and to the point. Contact her within 24 hours of the meeting to make sure she remembers you and knows you're interested. This texting rule should be golden.

Do not send these texts:

"Hey, it's Ryan from Stella's party last week. What's up?"

While it's not a bad/rude text, it implies that it's been well over 24 hours since you met. Even if she remembers you, she won't be impressed that it took you that long to realize you're interested in her.

2.  Start A Text Conversation With A Girl

Everyone has stared at his phone wondering what he should type to get a conversation going with her. You may have even typed up a few drafts before deciding what to send.

Knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl removes all that stress. And lets you get straight to chatting! Whether you want to come across as playful, intellectual, flirty, or funny, text conversation starters are a perfect way to start a dialogue. Also, getting a random text from you will let her know you're thinking about her.

Pro Tip: Say something timely and relevant, like an upcoming event or concert. That way, your text doesn't sound too eager, yet it makes her think that you've been thinking about her.

Good texts to send:

"Would you rather have a superpower or unlimited money?"

"What current trend really annoys you?"

"What is the biggest red flag for you in a relationship?"

An open-ended question can help you get to know her better. They're meant to be the beginning of a longer conversation. And with some follow-up questions, you can steer the discussion in any direction.

Do not send these texts:

"What are you up to?"

9 times out of 10, the answer to that question is "Not much, you?" Not exactly a fascinating discussion. Give her room to express her thoughts on something. It's more likely that she'll find herself thinking about you.

3. Know What To Text A Girl

Have you reached the point where you're texting her regularly? Then, now you'll need to know to keep your conversations from getting stale. As you get to know her, you'll find more and more things to talk about.

But every now and then, you might find yourself needing ideas. Don't let texting become a chore. Keep it fresh and fun by exploring new topics and finding new ways to begin and end a day of texting her.

Option #1: Ask Questions To Ask a Girl Over Text

Knowing good questions to ask a girl will make sure you're always ready with something interesting to talk about. The key is choosing questions that suit your purpose. Decide if you want to ask a flirtatious, personal, or funny question, then be ready to respond to her answer.

Even the best questions backfire if you don't show interest in her response.

Good texts to send:

"When was the last time you got in trouble?"

"What are you most attracted to in another person?"

"What do you think is the most disappointing thing about growing up?"

These keep conversations interesting because they give so much to talk about. Be ready to offer your own answers to these questions, too!

Do not send these texts:

"Do you like movies?"

"Are you into music?"

While music and movies are a great topic of conversation, this is a terrible question. The yes or no format doesn't give her anywhere to take the conversation. It will either make her end the topic or make her uninterested in talking to you.

Option #2: Send A Good morning text To Her

Sending a good morning text for her to wake up to lets her know that she was the first thing you thought of that day. It's your chance to start an exchange that could run through the whole day.

The trouble with good morning texts is that the same few phrases tend to get recycled over and over. Send a text with some originality and thought. Show that you care about her day by mentioning things you know she has going on. Encouraging will make her feel valued and cared for.

Not a bad way to start the morning, right? There was never a day that I missed sending a good morning text to my wife when we were still dating. But I make sure that it's always personalized so it doesn't sound like it's just a routine.

Good texts to send:

"Good luck with your exam today! You're gonna do great!"

"I hope your meeting goes well this morning. I can't wait to hear about it."

These messages show that you are invested in her personal life too. They let her know that you care and that you're cheering her on. As a bonus, they give you something to talk about later in the day.

Do not send these texts:

"Good morning, rise and shine!"

"Good morning, are you up yet?"

Don't waste a girl's number with texts like this. While there's nothing wrong with this message, there's also nothing right with it. Write something more personal and encouraging.

Option #3: Send A Good Night Text To Her

The thoughts and feelings we have before bed sink in overnight and carry over to the next day. They can even affect how well we sleep and make our way into our dreams. Don't you want her to remember that she had a good dream about you?

That's why it's important that your good night text for her fosters feelings of affection. Craft a message that gives her a rush of positive feelings, and she'll go to bed with you on her mind.

Good texts to send:

"Before I go to bed, I wanted to say I'm thinking about you. I hope you have the sweetest dreams."

"Good night, (her name). I can't wait for the morning to come so I can talk to you again."

This flirty text lets her know that she's on your mind at the end of the day. Feeling valued and desired will draw her closer to you and be the perfect ending to her day. Appeal to her emotion in a good way, and she will think that she holds a special place in your heart.

Do not send these texts:

"Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

"I hope you dream about me tonight."

Sending cliche phrases do nothing to build positive feelings toward you. They sound insincere and can actually undo the affection she has for you. Even when you add a juicy emoticon, it won't add oomph.

4. Use her name

If you immediately text her using a 'pet name' instead of her actual name, she'll probably think one of two things:

  1. “Whoa! We just met, and he's calling me 'baby'? I'm not his baby yet!"
  2. "Did he call me 'baby' to be sweet… or did he forget my name?"

…And if you don't use her name at all, it seems like a generic text that you could send to any girl. Those aren’t the first impressions you want to give. So for the first text, use her actual name.

PS: I recommend using her name until you go on an actual date. After you develop a good relationship, feel free to use pet names.

Good texts to send:

“Hey (her name)! How was the rest of your weekend?”

(Her name)! Great meeting you!"

These texts are simple... but you use her name, making sure she knows your message is just for her and that you aren't too forward with pet names. It also builds a personal connection when you like saying her name a lot.

Do not send this text:

“Hey baby/honey/sugar/sweetheart.”

Look: if you're using a pet name because you don't remember her name, just don't text her. You'll only cause damage to both of you. Move on to someone you do remember.

5. Remind her of something that happened when you met

This is one of the best tips on how to text girls. Meeting her was a positive moment for you. And it was likely positive for her too (you can tell because she gave you her number, right?)

In your first text, remind her of something interesting that happened when you met. My favorite approach? Remind her of something funny. She'll associate you with laughter, and girls love someone who can make them laugh!

Good texts to send:

“Great meeting you, (her name). You made being the DD bearable!”

(Her name), I’m so glad Stella introduced us. Even with Stella's neighbor calling the police… meeting you was the most interesting part of the night."

Both texts above are great. It’s fine to drop a compliment when you remind her of something interesting that happened.

Do not send these texts:

“Hey, it’s Ryan.”

"Hey, how are you?"

These texts are so boring! Send her something interesting that the two of you will remember from the night you met. If you have an inside joke or a snippet you recall, mention that to re-establish the connection.

6. Use proper grammar

The further girls get from high school, the more upsetting it is when men still text like they're in high school. You know what I'm talking about… bad grammar, misspelled words, and useless abbreviations ('2' instead of 'to', 'y' instead of 'why', etc.). Don't make a mistake and think that grammar doesn't play a part in texting.

Here’s the thing: It takes hardly any time to type full words instead of abbreviations. It won't take you a minute to double-check for mistakes before sending a text. It's not a "texting style" if you have terrible grammar. Bad spelling/grammar makes her think that you're too lazy to do those things.

So re-form the good first impression by using proper grammar when you text.

Good text to send:

“Hi (her name)! Nice to meet you yesterday. You made a boring work event kind of fun."

"Hi (her name)! I loved doing karaoke with you last night. Let's set another karaoke night soon."

The text doesn't have to be complicated (this one has a straightforward message)... it just has to be grammatically correct. Even punctuation and sentence construction matters here.

Reminder: Intelligence is the new sexy. According to studies, adults find people with an IQ of about 120 the most attractive. But don't overdo it, because girls want to talk to smart guys and not Einstein.

Do not send this text:

"Heyy (her name), I had fun at the event, good 2 meet u there."

You may be a nice guy and all, but sending a text like this won't help you get the girl. If you want to win over a woman's heart, pay attention to your grammar. It will help you a lot.

7. Text her the same way she texts you (‘mirror’ her)

The secret code for how a girl expects to be texted is right there in her texts. Follow her example on these things:

  1. How much to use emojis
  2. How long texts should be
  3. How fast you should answer her (does she text back every 5 minutes, every hour, etc.)
  4. How much she likes teasing/poking fun at each other

Letting her set the tone is the easiest way to meet her expectations.

Good texts to send:

“Hi (her name), how was the concert last night?”

"Where was that awesome Italian place you mentioned?"

Until you know her tone, these are the types of texts you should send. They're purposeful, interesting, and fundamental. These texts also give her a chance to respond accordingly. They can start a good conversation.

Do not send these texts:

“Hey (her name)!!!! How was the concert?!? :D :D ”

"Sup gurrrrl………just thinkin' bout you.."

The tone is too casual, uses too many emojis, and has too much punctuation. Now: if she starts texting you like this, feel free to match her tone. It's only okay to do it if she does the same.

I have another real-life example from me and someone I met in college. I actually got this text from a man: “heyyy babay ;) ;) ;) ” I had to wonder if a man was texting me, or a 14-year-old girl. I was so turned off, I immediately deleted his number.

8. Text with a purpose

The whole purpose of back-and-forth texting is to get a date, right? So don’t send random texts that don’t help you achieve that purpose. Otherwise, she might lose interest in you. Or worse, think that you're just friendly instead of flirting. 

Now, here’s some examples of good, purposeful reasons to text:

  • To compliment her (makes her want to date you)
  • To entertain her (makes her think you’re flirting)
  • To ask her for a date

But remember: Purposeful texting, is meaningless unless you actually get to ask her out. 

Good texts to send:

"I was just thinking about you."

"Guess what just happened…"

"Do you have a second for me to call?"

All of these texts have a purpose: to make her feel good, entertain her, or speak in person and (hopefully) ask her for a date. If you want to get a girl's attention, do your best to make her feel loved and valued.

Do not send these texts:

"It's crazy cold today, right?"

"What's up?"

Neither of these texts has a real purpose. They’re just talking for the sake of talking and don't get you any closer to dating her. If you want to be her boyfriend, you have to talk about things that lead somewhere.

9. Make her wait to hear from you

Girls usually don’t want you to text back immediately every time. But it’s not because she wants you to play ‘hard-to-get'. It's because she wants someone with a job, friends, hobbies, and a life outside of pursuing her.

Basically… she wants someone with better things to do than sit around texting. Don’t answer back the moment she texts you. Leave about 15 minutes between your responses at first. Then after your first date, match her tone/speed in texting)

Good texts to send:

"Check this out…my buddy took us bungee jumping today!"

(it doesn't have to be bungee jumping… but send her a picture of you enjoying your hobbies).

This is the perfect time to use social media. I usually post pictures of other awesome activities I'm exploring. I was surprised that the girl I liked initiated a conversation about the post she saw on my social media page.

"Sorry I haven't responded in a while. Work is crazy today."

Anyone who's not crazily needy will love seeing that you put the phone down to have fun or to focus harder on your work.

Do not send these texts:

Any text every five minutes, or as soon as she texts you.

Avoid double texting. Hide your neediness and be an independent man. Show her you have a great life outside of talking to her!

10. Send her exciting pictures of what you're doing

Like I mentioned above, girls want to know that you do have interests outside of talking to them, and sending exciting pictures is the perfect way to show those interests. She’ll be intrigued by your lifestyle, and of course, excited that you want to include her in your fun activities.

A good text to send:

“Guess what I did today!”

With a great picture of you doing something fun, like riding motorcycles, or doing any manly hobby.
She'll see that your life is full and fun that she'll want to join in. Exploring your passions is something to be proud of! The more you are exposed to the world, the more interested she will be in learning about you and your whole self.

Do not send this text:

"I'm bored. What are you doing?"

As I mentioned above, she wants to see that you have a life, and not that you spend your free time doing nothing. Boring questions like these also show that you think of her only when you're bored.

11. Compliment Her

Figuring out how to compliment a girl can be tricky. You want to be original and flirty, but you also don't want to come across as creepy.

The best compliments for girls make them feel unique. They show that you recognize the things that make her one of a kind. Use your compliments to demonstrate how thoughtful and observant you can be.

Good texts to send:

"I've never seen someone make friends so easily. You're such a friendly, lovable person"

"I love the way your mind works. You're so thoughtful and intelligent."

"Your eyes are so beautiful. I just can't look away from them when we're together."

These texts compliment her on something specific and show your appreciation for that quality. They show her that you're interested in her as a complete person, not just as a beautiful woman. I do this: I flatter the woman I like by first appreciating her personality or quirky habits.

So that she'll think that I'm not just after her looks. Once we became closer, then I started to compliment her physical attributes.

Do not send these texts:

"You're so funny!"

"You looked really hot yesterday."

There's nothing wrong with telling her that she's attractive or funny. However, these texts don't show that you put any thought into them. Compliments that she'll actually appreciate the need to be more personal and specific.

Caution: Although girls like to be told how gorgeous they are, they might think that you're only after their physical beauty if you overuse it. Make sure to let her know that you see beyond that by complimenting her personality.

12. Say Sweet Things to Her

We're often taught that men should be tough and control their emotions. We hear sweetness, kindness, and gentleness are feminine traits. Nothing could be more wrong. That thinking prevents men from being their truest, fullest selves. It can also keep you from starting a good romantic relationship with the one you like.

Sweet things to say to a girl can take many forms. It could be an unexpected compliment or a story that you know she'll appreciate. Just be sure to make your feelings for her clear. A thoughtful message will remind her that you're thinking about her even when you're apart. Sweet texts like that will brighten her day and keep you on her mind long after she reads them. And they'll score you major points.

Make your texts sweet, personal, and unique. Embrace your softer side, and you might just get a few extra embraces from your girl.

Good texts to send:

"No matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about you"

"You became so important to me so quickly... it was totally unexpected, but I'm so glad you're in my life."

"I want you to know that you're special to me. Nobody makes me feel the way you do."

These texts give her a peek at the way she makes you feel. The vulnerability of sharing those sweet feelings will draw the two of you closer.

Do not send these texts:

"My friends all tell me how attractive you are"

"Hey baby. Did you miss me?"

"You're a better kisser than any of my exes."

These texts are meant to be sweet, but they fall short by not mentioning your feelings for her. Also... never compare her to an ex. Comparing will get you nowhere but on her list of guys to avoid. Don't be that guy.

13. Show her your good traits, instead of telling her

I understand you want to show her how witty, well-read, generous, and wealthy you are.

But here’s the thing: She doesn't want to be told any of those things over text. Bragging on yourself like that only makes you sound arrogant. And very few girls find arrogant men attractive. Instead of telling her straight-out how awesome you are, show her in person.

Use texting to charm her into going on a date with you. Then you can show her how awesome you are, instead of outright bragging on yourself.

Good texts to send:

"I'd love to take you to dinner."

"I finished my book last week and can't find a good one… any recommendations?"

"I love dogs too! My favorite weekends are the ones I spend helping out at the dog shelter."

These texts imply that you can afford dinner, like to read, and volunteer with animals. But notice that you put the focus on her instead of bragging about yourself.

Do not send these texts:

"I just closed a million-dollar deal with a client."

"Looks like the charity I support named me a Top Donor!"

Obviously, these texts seem arrogant and desperate for attention. A huge turn-off for girls. Instead of telling her flat-out that you’re well-off, well-read, and recognized for generosity, show her in person.

14. Feel free to joke with her, but stay away from inappropriate jokes

I know what you’re thinking… what are inappropriate jokes? Anything sexual, sexist, racist, insulting, or mean. It's easy for her to misinterpret any of those jokes. She may think you're serious, or you may be joking about something that she takes very seriously.

Be a classic, timeless man in your texts, not a common, crude man. Show her that you can laugh at yourself and that you don’t depend on insulting jokes to be funny.

Pro Tip: I make sure to include some jokes about myself when I talk to the girl I like. Because it makes her think that I'm not sensitive. So, that gives her the go-ahead to make jokes with me or tease me!

A good text to send:

"So you'll never believe the stupid thing I just did…"

Anyone wants someone who can laugh at himself. It shows confidence, one of the sexiest traits to women. Sharing these things will make her feel that you're comfortable being human.

Do not send these texts:

Any racist, sexist, sexual, or insulting joke.

When in doubt if a text is too risky, don't send it. Wait to spend time with her face-to-face to determine her sense of humor. But, my advice is to try to avoid these kinds of jokes at all costs.

15. Remember things she tells you about herself (family, job, experiences)

Women want to be listened to. It’s easy to find someone who will pretend to listen. But much more difficult to find someone that really listens, and remembers what we say.

With that: You can impress her by demonstrating that you're the type to remember what she tells you. It'll show her that she's important to you. It'll make her think highly of you (and probably start thinking of you as a boyfriend).

Good texts to send:

“Hey (her name)! Did that annoying client call you back?”

“Have you ever taken (her pet’s name) to the park on the 5th?”

"Looks like I'm headed to (her hometown) on business next week… what are your favorite nightspots there?"

All these texts show that you remember important facts about her (her work problems, if she has pets, where she's from, etc.). It also lets her know that you're paying attention, which not a lot of guys do. Be the one that listens.

Do not send this text:

"You do something with marketing, right?"

If she's told you something specific about her life, and you don't remember it, don't bring it up. The text above sounds like her job wasn't worth remembering to you, and that's a huge turn-off.

16. Don’t rely only on teasing her to keep her attention

I wanted to see the available advice on texting girls... so I did a few quick searches like "how to text a girl," and "good texts to send a girl." Unfortunately, most of what I saw was little more than insults, or implying that she’s lucky to know you. I was horrified that men are being taught to say mean things to girls over text to get their attention.

Guys... here's the thing: Girls eventually think men are cowards when they constantly hide their feelings behind teasing. She wants you to 'man up, and not be afraid to tell her she's pretty, smart, etc. . And she'll probably compliment you back. Teasing her gently is a great way to develop a good relationship. But don’t rely just on teasing to keep her attention.

Good texts to send:

"You might be the craziest girl I know… but when you're that cute, you're allowed to be a little crazy."

See how this text is playful, yet complimentary? This text sounds like a confident guy sent it, and women will love it.

"You haven't seen Star Wars?! That's unacceptable. I'm going to have to show you what you're missing."

You tease her gently about not seeing a movie, but don’t call her stupid, lame, or boring because of it. Plus, you set up date ideas for her!

Do not send these texts:

"You're cute… for a brunette. I usually go for blondes."

"We're having dinner tomorrow night. Come on, I know you're way too lame to have any better plans. ;)"

These texts are incredibly insulting. When you put down her looks, or give her direct orders, she'll almost definitely be turned off .

17. Don't constantly text her back and forth when you can call…

Girls can get confused when you're constantly texting. She'll wonder why you're just texting her, not calling. In fact, as she starts to like you, she’ll want you to call and text, not just text. Here’s why: As you get closer to becoming a couple, you use texting less and less to communicate. You spend more time physically together, or on the phone, right?

So don’t text her constantly when you can easily move on to the next step of a relationship… calling.

Reminder: Before you call her, make sure that you have something to talk about. If you call her without purpose, it may lead to an awkward silence and give her a negative experience.

A good text to send:

"Hey, I'm just sitting at home right now… can I call you?"

Perfect! Girls who like you want to talk to you. If you're not doing anything important while texting her, call. She will appreciate your confidence to call her and talk to her on the phone.

Do not send this text:

"What's up? I'm just chilling at home."

Nothing kills sexual tension than when she thinks you don't want to call her. If you want to talk to a girl, don't be scared to pick up the phone right now. Anyone who’s into you will love it.

18. Don’t suddenly stop texting her

With the above tip: You should stop constantly texting if you can call her. But you shouldn’t stop texting her constantly with no explanation.

Think about it like this: If you were talking in person, and with no explanation, she walked away... what would you think? You'd wonder if you did something wrong, or if you were boring her, or if she was just plain rude. And she feels the same when you stop texting her mid-conversation. Don't leave her confused. Be polite, and tell her when you have to stop texting her.

Good texts to send:

"I'll text you later – have to prepare for this presentation."

"Just got to the gym! I'll text you later."

"I'm at the bar now with my buddy. Talk to you tomorrow!"

Treat her with the same texting respect you want to have. Let her know if you're going to be silent for a while, and she'll be grateful to you for it. Plus, it doesn't leave her waiting in the wings for you.

Do not send this text:

A long silence right after a long text conversation.

A great way to stay in the friend zone is to stop texting her. Don't leave her wondering if she did something wrong. It won't help you if she thinks you're ignoring her because of something she did.

19. Flirt With Her Over Text

Flirting is your chance to show her that you want to be more than just friends. Flirting in person involves your body language and physical touch... things that are lost when you text. That's why you need to know how to flirt with a girl over text.

Keep the playful attitude you'd normally have and channel it into flirty texts for her.

Good texts to send:

"Don't work too hard today. You're gonna need some energy for when we hang out later."

"I had to change your name in my contacts... I was getting way too excited every time your name popped up."

"Which emoji makes you think of me??

These messages are the perfect blend of playful and suggestive. Not only that, this is also a great way to show off your winning sense of humor.

Do not send these texts:

"Netflix and chill?"

"You up?"

"Send me a sexy selfie."

These messages skip the flirting entirely. When you're texting someone you like, put in the effort to write a unique message that will make her smile. Give her the chance to flirt back.

20. Know How to Tell if a Girl Likes You Over Text

Here at Mantelligence, we've spent a lot of time talking about the signs a girl likes you. Unfortunately, the signs she displays in real life don't come across digitally. That means you need to know how to tell if a girl likes you over text. Since you can't read her body language, you have to get your clues from the way she texts. This isn't a secret code she uses. It's just the natural way a girl will text you when she likes you.

21. Use texting to get to know her better

Since you know she's interested in getting to know you better, you can start to get more personal in your texts. Asking her those personal questions signals your interest in getting to know her. And that makes her feel appreciated and think of you as a boyfriend.

PS. Don’t use texting to ask questions that are too serious… check out this post to see which questions are interesting and personal, and which ones are too serious for early dating.

Good texts to send:

"How's work going today?"

"Which part of California did you grow up in?"

"What did you think of the movie last night?"

These questions help you get to know her daily work life, her childhood, and her opinions. It also lets her share things about her personal life and open up about herself to you.

Do not send these texts:


"When did your last relationship end?"

The first text is too boring (and doesn't help you get to know her), and the second text is way too serious. Keep your texting light and interesting.

22. Remember when she has something exciting happening

This tip is related to “Remember things she tells you” above. But this one goes a little further, romantically. Instead of just showing that you remember things about her, send encouraging, 'sweet' texts when she mentions something big in her life.

For example: If she's got a test, a presentation at work, or an exciting night planned, text her before and wish her the best. It shows that you care to remember what's going on in her life and that you'll be there to support her in the future.

Good texts to send:

"Good luck on your test tomorrow!"

"I hope you and your mom have a great visit this weekend!"

"I know you'll knock 'em dead in your presentation!"

These texts are so supportive and encouraging. Anyone would love to receive these when she needs a little extra encouragement.

Do not send this text:


Don't forget to say something to her! Girls want attention, especially when something big is going on.

23. Leave sex out of texting

Guys, if you're wondering how to text a girl (and flirt with her over text)... this is important (and really simple):

Tell her that she’s attractive without sexualizing her. Continue to act like a gentleman in your texts, and don't ever make these mistakes:

  • Do not ask for sexy pictures of her until you’ve physically seen her body.
  • Do not describe what you want to do with her until she’s physically let you do it.
  • Do not ever, ever, ever send her pictures of you without her asking.

I can promise you, girls see any of these actions as a huge turn-off. They make her feel like a sexual object, not a beautiful, respected woman.

Good texts to send:

"You looked so pretty yesterday!"

"Thanks for a really great date (and awesome kiss)."

Let her know she's attractive without sexualizing her. Mention something physical like kissing, but only after it’s happened.

Do not send this text:

"Anything inappropriate."

Look… I'm not going to describe an inappropriate text here. If you think it's too inappropriate, it is.

24. Show her the best version of yourself

This tip has two meanings:

  1. Remember to be yourself (don’t be ‘fake’ over texting)
  2. Be the best version of yourself (don’t text things you should save for an in-person conversation)

The first one’s easy: don’t sound like someone else over text. Only text things you’re comfortable with so that she’s reading texts from the real you.

But with that: Dating is about slowly sharing your life with a girl. Don’t let her know over text, right off the bat, the little things that you should save for later. If you’re a little dorky, don’t hide it. If you want to dote on her a little, don’t hide it. You should be yourself, but don’t let all your secrets out to her over text. She’ll find them all out in time.

Good texts to send:

"I'm in the middle of a Star Wars marathon right now with some buddies… I guess I'm a total dork."

"I've never dated a lady as good as you."

Show her you're a dork and that you like to dote on her without going overboard.

Do not send these texts:

"One of my biggest fantasies is to make out with a woman dressed as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi."

"I actually have a lot of emotional baggage since my ex left me…"

Even if these texts are true, she doesn't need to know any of this information right off the bat! Show your deepest secrets to her slowly.

25. Ask her out… after no more than two days of texting

You want to date this girl, not have a lifelong text relationship (that sounds so boring, right?). So, if you're texting back-and-forth with her, don't wait more than two days before asking her out. Girls usually assume men don’t have any real interest if you text constantly without asking them out. So don’t let her write you off before you even have a chance. Get to the point… ask her out.

Good texts to send:

“Can I call you tonight after work?” (to ask her out during the call)

"Talking to you has really been great. We should continue this conversation soon… do you have dinner plans on

"Saturday?" (at the end of a day, two at most, of texting)

Be cool and casual about asking her out. But make sure that it is clear that you want to meet her and see her in person. You should always make it a point that you want to see her and take her out.

Do not send these texts after a week of texting:

"You're so funny! But I don't know if I agree with you about XYZ!"

"You're so cute."

Compliments/gentle teasing mean nothing without follow-through. She's probably already written you off after a week of texting without asking her out.

26. But remember, ask her out, don’t tell her you’re taking her out

A lot of websites with advice on how to text girls advise that when you ask her out over text... to be bold and direct. And it’s partly good advice… girls do want you to directly define your time together as a date. But here’s the thing: Most of those sites also advise you to tell her you’re taking her out, instead of asking her (see the examples below).

But the truth is… telling her like that usually comes across as pushy. Make it clear you’re asking for a date, but remember to ask

PS. This rule applies to ask a girl out over text or on the phone!

Good texts to send:

"Would you like to have dinner this weekend?"

"You said you really like tacos… where's your favorite taco place? I can take you this weekend. :)"

See how both texts make it clear that you want a date, but don’t tell her what the plan is?

Do not send these texts:

"I'm taking you to dinner on Saturday night. Sushi at Nama. I'll pick you up at 8."

"You'll be out this weekend? Great! Where can I meet you?"

These texts are way too bold. They assume that she’s ok with sushi, that she’s free at that time, or that she wants you to join her while she’s out. Be a gentleman and give her the final say in when, where, and if you date.

27. Text A Girl After She Didn't Text Back

Texting has become a huge part of dating because it is convenient for communication. So... if texting is so easy why is it that she didn't text back This might hurt, but if she didn't text you back, it's because she chose not to. Getting ghosted is today's version of getting rejected... the only thing you can do is pick yourself, dust yourself off, and keep on moving.

This tip on how to text a girl is short and sweet: If she likes you, she dates you. She won't have endless scheduling conflicts, or wait days before texting you back.

But here’s the problem most guys run into: If she doesn’t like you, she probably won’t tell you flat-out... girls are taught to let men down gently, and it’s very hard for them to flat-out turn men down. Instead, she'll subtly let you know she's not interested. She'll have those scheduling conflicts, cancel dates at the last minute, and not text back.

So, if she’s constantly doing any of those things, she’s probably not into you… so move on to someone who is.

Good text to send:


If she's not giving you the time of day, move on.

Do not send these texts:

"I haven't heard from you in a few days… are you ignoring me?"

"I miss talking to you. What's up?"

"Did our date not go well or something?"

All of these texts sound desperate for her attention. And let's be honest, if she's the type to ignore you, you deserve better. Let her go and move on to someone else if she ignores your texts for more than 48 hours.

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Downloadable and Printable List of How To Text A Girl

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Frequently Asked Questions

Now that you know the basic rules on how to text a girl, you should be more confident in doing so. But if you're still unsure, no worries; we'll answer all your questions.

How do you maintain a text conversation with a girl you like?

It always helps if you both have a shared interest that keeps the texting going. Questions about everyday life are good too but make sure that the discussion is actually going somewhere and that it doesn't end at "What's up?"

What should I talk about to get a girl to text me back?

You can try a lot of different topics to get her to text you back. Once you find that topic that she really responds to, you should expand it and ask questions about it. It may be about her favorite TV shows, her Instagram feed curation, or her favorite song. Just get her talking about her passions and you won't have a problem.

When a girl started a conversation over text, I texted back, how are you beautiful and she replied with "I'm goodddddd" and with a laughing emoji. What does this mean?

This can mean many things. But I would advise asking an open-ended question immediately to know her real mood. This may just mean she wants to sound casual and un-invested, trying to keep a cool image.

How hard is it for a shy girl to start a conversation over text with her crush?

It's pretty tricky, as you may imagine. But if a shy girl has a good list of conversation topics, she doesn't have to worry that much. She'll have no problem carrying a great conversation as long as her crush is also invested in the discourse.

How long must one wait to text a girl after getting her number?

Nowadays, the longer you wait, the less your chance is of getting her to pay attention to you. When you don't text immediately, it sets the tone that you're not that interested in her. You can also use social media to contact her if you want. Send her a funny meme or two, but texting is the best way to let her know you really want to start something with her.

Why is texting a girl so important?

Some guys could tap out a novel on their phone screens. Other guys want to keep a text message as brief as possible. Regardless of how you feel about it, texting is most likely the main way you'll communicate with a girl.

Doing it right will lead to more dates. Doing it wrong... won't. That's because good texting skills will help you show off your charm. But mistakes can make you seem awkward or uninterested. So don't find yourself wondering why she's not feeling it anymore. Learn how to text a girl the right way.

How to catch your girl's attention through text?

So far the tips in this post have been meant to help you text while you figure out where things are going... But once you know that you're into her, the game changes completely. You need to know how to text a girl you like.

Texting a girl you like is different from texting someone you're unsure about. You don't just want to get familiar with her... you want to show her how you feel and make her feel comfortable doing the same. The ironic thing about these tips is that they can actually lead to less texting. After all, you won't be texting her while you're spending time with her.

What is the most effective moves on asking a girl out with a text?

Eventually, your relationship should move beyond the keyboard and into real life. To get to that point, you need to know how to ask a girl out over text. This is the entire point of texting. After you set up a flirtatious relationship with her, use the phone for its intended purpose, and ask her out. These tips can help you use texting to get that date.

More Ways On How To Get The Girl

True love takes work but we're here to make it easier. Check out these other interesting articles for more ways to get the girl.

  1. Put your best foot forward and learn how to talk to girls and get her to like you.
  2. Bust out the charm and master how to flirt with a girl.
  3. Learn how to get a girl's number so you can keep the flirting going.
  4. Learn how to impress a girl without looking desperate.
  5. Make her swoon with these love messages for her.