You thought you were getting on with this girl, but when you started texting her, the worst thing happened: she didn't text back.
This can be a pretty crushing blow, especially for a guy trying to figure out how to get a girlfriend, or even more basically, just how to text a girl properly. When she doesn't text back, you can start to feel like you've somehow failed.
The truth is, though, there are plenty of reasons she isn't texting. She may just be busy, or she may not know what to say.
The best way to find out is to follow a few simple rules so that you can first find out why she didn't text back and how to get her to text back next time.
What To Do When She Doesn't Text Back: 6 Steps
For many guys, the first reaction when a girl doesn't text back is to start sending accusing or desperate messages begging for a reason or just a response.
Before we even get to the steps, here's an extra one: don't do that. Instead, just follow these five steps to figure out what's gone wrong and get her texting you again.
1. Don't Panic and Wait a Bit
First and foremost, just don't panic. People get busy or forget their phones. Give her time to respond when she doesn't text back before you assume anything.
Even if, she never responds, don't assume the worst. Just follow the rest of the steps to get your text game back on track.
2. Play It Cool When You Text Again
At this point, you're going to have to be the one to follow up your text. Don't start with questions about why she didn't text. Instead, be cool about it. Ideally, don't even bring it up.
Just move on to a more engaging text topic, like those found in Step 3.
3. Know What to Text a Girl When She Doesn't Text Back
Use one or several of these tips to put together a dynamite text or two that is sure to get her response.
Tip #1: Send her something funny
There's nothing that is more likely to get a good response than sending her something that makes her laugh. Better yet, you don't even have to worry about creating it.
Send over funny memes or .gifs. If they make light of her not texting back, all the better. Alternatively, throw a funny text question at her.
Tip #2: Start a text conversation with a girl
Find the best text conversation starters, and use those to get her interested in chatting. There's nothing else to it. There's no secret to how to start a text conversation with a girl, other than just picking a good topic.
Ask her about her favorite movie or music to get her talking about herself. Or, ask her what her childhood was like.
Tip #3: Send a good morning text for her
One of the best casual plays you can make is to drop the whole text conversation until the next day and then hit her up with a nice good morning text for her.
Don't just leave it at a straight "good morning," though.
Throw in a compliment about how much you're looking forward to chatting that day or send her a poetic thought about the brand new day. If nothing else, ask her about her plans for the day.
Tip #4: Send a good night text for her
This is another great opportunity to give a decent delay to your text efforts. Wait until that evening and send a good night text for her.
You can throw in a question about her dreams or ask her what she'll looking forward to in the coming days. Or, be cute and tell her you'll protect her from the monsters under her bed.
Tip #5: Send a message about things she loves
When she didn't text back last time, watch an episode of her favorite show and text her to say you want to discuss it. Ask her for recommendations for the best album of her favorite musician.
These texts show you are taking an interest in her interests and make it hard for her to resist texting back.
While you're trying to figure out what she's saying in her texting/not texting, try to read the signs she's sending you.
If she's not responding to personal questions, she may not be ready to open up. If she's friendly in person but not by text, she may want a little space.
5. Send the right type of text, at the right time
Texting, like all things about relationships, is an art of timing. When she didn't text back, it might suggest your timing was wrong.
As Step 4 suggests, there's a time and a place to employ certain types of texting. So, time your texts right and use the right type of texts.
6. Send a Casual Reminder
These are useful "in-between" texts to just remind her of you. Send her reminders of upcoming events, as well as invitations to events she's likely want to go to. Become the person she relies on for such things.
Tip #1: Use Questions To Ask a Girl Over Text
Tip #2: Know When To Send Flirty Texts
This is always the trickiest part of texting. The basic answer is, send flirty texts for her when you're in the middle of a good conversation.
At that point, you can send all kinds of flirty texts, from telling her she looked good to teasing her about how much she was waiting to hear form you. Or, go with genuine and tell her how much you love talking to her.
What to Do When You Text a Girl You Like, And She Doesn't Text Back
When you know you like a girl a lot, texting is all the more serious. And it's a lot more serious when she didn't text back as well. You want to know specifically how to text a girl you like to get her to respond when she hasn't been.
Thankfully, there are steps for that as well. Just use these 4 steps to get her chatting away with you all night long.
1. Find a Shared Issue to Discuss
Do you share an interest? Do you have mutual friends? Try chatting about that at first to encourage her to text back and open up a bit. You can then branch out from those basic topics and get on a better footing.
2. Compliment Her
The best strategy is one of escalation. Start with the innocent ("your answer was great in class today") and build up to slightly more romantic ("I liked how you did your hair today").
If she's receptive to those, give her a real whopper ("you're the most beautiful girl in school").
3. Say Sweet Things to Her
You don't have to go with direct compliments, you can always get a response by just using a few sweet things to say to a girl.
Tell her everything she says is so interesting, that everyone you know admires her, or that you can't get enough of talking to her. These aren't quite direct compliments, but they can actually be more effective sometimes in getting a response.
4. Read the Room and Don't Blow Up Her Phone
As with Step 4 in the section above, read her responses (or non-responses) and adjust accordingly. Don't keep sending compliments if she didn't text back to them. Instead, stick with general topics for now.
And whatever you do, don't start sending her tons of texts if she's not responding. That's more likely to annoy her than encourage a response.
What To Do When A Girl Doesn't Text Back After Flirting Over Text
You've finally figured out how to flirt with a girl over text (or you thought you had), but she doesn't respond. Don't get upset, just follow these steps to find out what went wrong and go from there.
1. Just Move On
Everyone has throw out a few flirty comments that didn't hit the mark. The best thing to do when she didn't text back is to just move on for now. If she wants to keep chatting, just pretend you didn't say anything.
If the conversation drops, reengage her later with a new conversation starter.
2. Find Out How She Feels
This is always the crux of flirting. It only works if she's interested in you too. But how do you find out?
There is the direct and indirect route. The direct route would be to either ask her or someone close to her how she feels about you. You'll get some sort of answer to your question that way, but it can be difficult for those who are shy.
The other way is by judging through her text reactions, which is discussed in Pro Step 2A.
3. Know How to Tell if a Girl Likes You Over Text
Start with a little trial and error with your flirting. She's already failed to text back at least once when you were flirtatious. If she makes a habit of this, you know she probably isn't interested.
Try different kinds of flirtation, from teasing, to compliments, to sweet comments. See if she responds better to some types than others.
Basically, if she wants to get closer romantically, she'll show you in one way or the other. If not, it's best to back off for now and assume she isn't interested.
4. Adapt to What You Learn
Once you've spent some time observing her text behavior with your flirting, adjust your texting accordingly. Cut out the flirting for a while if she isn't responding at all, or focus on the kind of flirting she seems to like.
What To Do When You Ask a Girl Out Over Text And She Doesn't Text Back
Of course, the ultimate goal of your texting is how to ask a girl out over text. If you've managed to ask her out and she didn't text back, you can feel humiliated.
However, it doesn't necessary mean what you think it means.
Start by moving on as casually as possible in your next conversation. You then have three options: ask her out again in a text and see how she responds, forget it for now and try to develop a stronger relationship, or ask her out in person.
Try to read what she's telling you from your conversations and follow the strategy that feels best.
Downloadable and Printable List of Steps When She Didn't Text Back
Here is a downloadable and printable list of steps you can do when she didn't text back (right click image and select Save Image As ...):
More Tips On How To Get The Girl
When you've mastered other ways to get the girl you'll always know what to do when she didn't text back. Try out some of our other Mantelligence articles as well.
- Just understanding women better can make all the difference in your texting.
- You'll never worry about her not responding once you've mastered how to get a girl to like you.
- When you know how to flirt with a girl, you know how to flirt by text.
- Pick up on writing love messages for her and adapt them to love texts.
As this article makes clear, if she didn't text back, it isn't the end of the world. When she doesn't text back, it can be for any number of reasons.
No matter the reason, though, just keep one thing in mind: once you know how to text a girl in general, you'll know how to text when she isn't responding.
And once you've figured that trick out, it'll be easier to figure out how to get a girlfriend.