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How To Ask A Girl Out (6 Steps) – Easily ask for a date!

Don’t wait around pining for a girl and hoping for a date, take action and learn how to ask a girl out.

On some magical occasions dates will fall into your lap. Unfortunately, these spontaneous dates happen in movies more than they do in real life. Most often us real people have to figure out how to get a date on our own.

Figuring out the best way to ask out a girl is hard. Whether you’ve known her for a while or you’ve just met her, asking a girl out means putting yourself out there. It means possible rejection.

As we help you learn how to get a girlfriend we want to help with that. In this post I’ll help you find ways to ask a girl out that are most likely to get you a date and help you find that special someone.

Once you figure out how to ask out a girl you can let yourself enjoy the fun, flirtation, and excitement that is supposed to come along with dating.

While there’s no guaranteed method, once you learn the best approach for how to ask a girl out on a date you can approach those situations with the confidence that as you walked out on that limb you kept your best foot forward.


Why is Asking a Girl Out So Important?

Every great story has what is known as an inciting incident. It’s the moment that gets the hero into the action. It’s the start of adventure, growth, and yes… some challenges. Nothing happens, good or bad, without that inciting incident.

Asking her out is your inciting incident.

Without taking that step you’ll just be waiting around for something great to fall into your lap. And we all know how often that happens.

When you ask her out you take an active role in your own life and your own happiness. Take control of your story and learn how to ask a girl out.

How To Ask a Girl Out

Attraction is unpredictable. Sometimes it happens immediately. Other times it takes a while to develop.

No matter when you realize you want to be more than friends with this girl, the keys to how to ask a girl on a date are the same. That’s because the best way to ask out a girl isn’t with a pickup line, a handwritten love poem, or any other kind of gimmick.

Learning how to ask a girl out is about learning a method, not memorizing a line or a trick.

Learn to approach the situation in a way that helps you look your best and stop worrying about performing for your crush. With these simple steps you can feel confident asking her out… no matter how long you’ve been waiting.

Here’s how to ask a girl out:

1. Be Selective

The reason the thought of asking a woman out is so stressful is that you risk being rejected. Nobody wants to put themselves out there only to be denied.

To reduce the chance of getting turned down be selective about the girls you ask out. Just like aiming makes it more likely that you’ll score, being selective about the girl you ask out makes it more likely she’ll say yes.

Ask out the girls you have chemistry with. Does she keep eye contact? Get close to you? Does she seem to enjoy talking to you? These are pretty good signs that you have a connection.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel a spark with someone or she isn’t showing interest. Some people just don’t click. Figuring this out early will save you frustration later.

2. Give Her a Reason to Say Yes

This may seem basic but its true…

 A girl won’t say yes to a guy she doesn’t think she’ll have fun with.

Once you show her how much fun she’d have on a date with you its far more likely that she’ll say yes. Unfortunately, a lot of guys get so nervous while they’re learning how to ask a girl on a date that they forget to let their personalities show through.

This is why a lot of guys think that girls only go after money. Turns out wealth is a pretty good short-term solution for a lack of personality.

While you’re gauging her level of interest (see Step 1) show her your sense of humor. Be complimentary. Show her you’ve got a brain and some interests you’d like to share.

Let her see how much she’d love a few hours alone with you and she’ll say “yes” no matter how much you’ve got in the bank.

3. Be Specific

Once you’ve found a woman you click with and you’ve shown her why should say yes, ask her to do something specific.

Asking her to do something specific does a couple of things:

First, this shows her that going out with you would be an interesting experience for her. You know a good restaurant, or you’ve been meaning to go to this new bar, or you saw that a musician is coming to town soon. It shows her that you have things that get you out of the house, and that being with you wouldn’t be boring.

Second, it gives her something definite to respond to. Even though it’s easy to ask her to “hang out some time,” being that vague means you can’t really be sure if she wants to see your just wants to end the conversation.

“Would you like to get drinks with me next Friday?” Now that she can say yes or no to.

Be as specific as you can. And if you’ve chosen the right girl and put your best foot forward you’ll end the night with a new date added to your calendar.

Pro Tip. Know The Cute Ways To Ask a Girl Out

One of the major aspects of flirting is a playful, light hearted attitude. It’s one of clearest ways to show a girl your interest in her.

Cute ways to ask a girl out are a great way to keep that playful attitude in her mind as you ask her to see you again. Have her thinking about the special attention you pay her and you’ll make her decision a lot easier.

Here are 3 cute ways to ask a girl out:

1. Write a note

A handwritten note will bring back all the butterflies of childhood romance. Write her a note on a napkin or slip of paper and “secretly” pass it to her as you’re talking.

2. Bring her flowers

This one takes some planning, so it’s obviously best for a girl you’ve been wanting to ask for a while. Flowers are a classic, thoughtful gesture that are always a good move.

3. Buy Tickets

If you’re trying to figure out how to ask out a girl out that you already know, buy tickets to something you know she’d like to do. Show her how well you know her by giving her tickets to a movie, concert, or museum and asking her to go with you.

How To Ask a Girl Out Over Text

Our phones are a powerful means of communication and have changed every aspect of modern life. For better or worse, that includes dating.

That means more relationships are started and maintained through messages, so learning how to ask a girl on a date over text is a skill every modern man needs.

The beauty of texting is it offers you the chance to think through your message. The downside is that it leaves a lot of room for interpretation.

That’s why learning how to text a girl the right way is key to flirting and dating in the digital age.

Allow the mentality is the same as asking a woman out on a date in person, the technique for asking her out over text is slightly different.

Here’s how to ask a girl out over text:

4. Don’t Wait to Text

In the old days the rule of thumb was to wait at least three days to call a girl after you got her num


We don’t live by those rules anymore. You should message her within 24 hours of meeting her. With all the ways we have to stay in touch not messaging her makes it seem like she didn’t leave an impression.

Don’t worry, she’s not expecting a novel or a proposal. Text her something short just to let her know that she’s on your mind.

5. Start a Text Conversation With a Girl Before Asking Her Out

Figuring out how to start a text conversation with a girl out of the blue can be really difficult. Especially when you’re desperate to talk to her but don’t want to let that desperation show.

In situations like that text conversation starters are the perfect resource to help you dive into a conversation.

1. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

Show your interest with a twist on “So, how was your day?”

2. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?

This will help you get to know her better and find common values.

3. If you could go anywhere right now where would you go?

You might just get an idea for a date down the road.

6. Flirt With A Girl Over Text To Ask Her Out

With emojis, gifs, and all the other things we can attach to our messages, there are endless ways to craft flirty texts for her.

No matter how inventive your texting style, learning how to flirt with a girl over text begins with the basics. Get her face to light up every time her phone does with some of these flirty texts.

1. Save me… I’m dying of boredom… can’t work anymore…

This flirty text shows you’d rather be with her at that very moment.

2. What is the first thing that attracts you to a guy?

This question is a set up for a flirtatious conversation you can take any direction.

3. I have to admit, every time my phone buzzes I hope that it’s you.

Let her know you look forward to talking to her and want more in the future.

More Tips on How To Get The Girl

If you found these tips for how to ask a girl out on a date useful, check out some of our other resources put together to help you get the girl.

  1. Turn your luck with the ladies around and figure out how to get a girl to like you.
  2. Don’t let nerves paralyze you. Learn how to approach a girl and stop worrying about finding the right thing to say.
  3. Get first date ideas for any budget that she’ll never forget.

In Conclusion

The key to learning how to ask a girl out isn’t memorizing some lines or flashing around cash.

The best way to ask a girl out is to use a comprehensive approach that helps you choose the right girl and makes it easy for her to say yes. As you’re learning how to get a date focus on your approach to the whole situation, not on a one size fits all trick.

 Asking a girl out is one of the most important steps in learning how to get a girlfriend. After all, if you never ask her out nothing will ever happen with her.

Once you learn how to ask out a girl using the right approach you can stop letting nervousness hold you back.

There are no guaranteed ways to ask a girl out. But with this approach you can make it more likely that she’ll yes. Be selective about the girls you ask, give her a reason to say yes, and ask her to do something specific.

Don’t wait for good things to come along. Get out there and make things happen. Learn how to ask a girl out the right way and take control of your love life.

About The Author


Sam is dating coach, life coach, and style expert. His expertise has been featured on, Apartment Therapy, Wisebread, Best Life Online, and Up Journey. He lives with his Australian Shepard, Max, in beautiful Los Angeles, and on weekends, loves playing beach volleyball.

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