How to flirt with a girl is one of the most useful methods you can employ to get the girl.
You may think you know how to get a girlfriend but if you're not flirting, you're going to have a tougher time than normal.
In this article we'll explain the importance of flirting with a girl, what it is, how flirting works, and most importantly...
We'll teach you the surprisingly easy steps to successful and natural flirting.
What, Exactly, is Flirting?
The Merriam-Webster definition of "Flirt" is this:
"Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions."
So basically, flirting is acting silly and showing interest in someone simply because it's fun. But that definition isn't entirely true...
...Because people flirt with serious intent all the time. Why?
It's an exciting and low-risk method of starting a conversation with someone you're attracted to. And it works. Flirting is lighthearted chatting that involves teasing, physical touching, cracking jokes, giving compliments, and being slightly absurd but not weird.
People flirt when they're attracted to someone but don't want to come out and say it right away (which is smart because doing so might scare off a potential mate.)
It's a delicate art that takes practice and confidence, and if done correctly, will make talking to every girl infinitely easier. And that's why we're going to show you the science of flirting.
But first you need to learn why flirting is necessary to get the girl...
Why is Flirting So Important?
Those questions are meant to create a dialogue, while flirting is meant to get you an invitation to said dialogue. A girl isn't going to talk to you unless it's clear you have something to offer her.
...And one thing you can offer her:
A fun and interesting interaction. Well it just so happens that flirting is a surefire way of doing exactly that.
How to Flirt With A Girl
Remember: Flirting is a low-risk method of talking to girls...
No girl wants to date a guy who can't laugh at himself and flirting is the quickest and easiest method of showing a girl you like that you know how to have a good time.
Again, flirting takes practice. The more you do it, the more you'll see what works and what doesn't.
So when you're flirting with a girl, give her your undivided attention and keep an eye out for the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) cues she's putting off.
Does she look distracted while you're talking? Then ask her a question about herself. People love talking about themselves and it will hopefully bring her back to the conversation.
Is she maintaining eye contact and laughing at your jokes/teasing? Keep doing what you're doing! She's probably interested!
My point is this: During each of the following steps of the flirting process on how to flirt with a girl, you should constantly be performing status checks on how the interaction is going and reacting appropriately.
Over time, you'll get better at it, but in the meantime...
1. Approach Her
Trust me, I've been there countless times... Knowing how to approach a girl the most challenging part of meeting women.
You get stuck in your head and instead of psyching yourself up, you end up thinking of all the reasons why she wouldn't want to talk to you. So before your mind can convince you otherwise, you just have to do it and walk up to her.
If you can control your approach anxiety, all you have to do make eye contact and smile a couple of times before walking up to her. If she reciprocates, she's giving you an invitation to come say hello. If she doesn't, go say hi to her anyway.
The only things you have to lose are a few words and some time and she'll let you know if she's not interested.
2. Compliment Her
Here's the basic gist of giving compliments:
The main thing you have to do is pick one thing you like about her and simply tell her you like it.
But you have to be genuine about it. You have to mean it. This is easily accomplished by picking out your compliment before you approach her.
Some of my favorite examples:
- "This is a nice jacket, where'd you get it?" (A good one for initiating touch. Lightly touching her arm is your safest option.)
- "I saw you over there and just had to tell you that I like your style." (Explaining you noticed her will make her feel good about herself and like you more.)
- "Your eyes are gorgeous!" (This works best if said with enthusiasm and excitement.)
If there's one rule you should follow when complimenting a girl it's this:
Do not use pickup lines (unless you have a hilarious one or can masterfully recover from her eye roll and keep her interested.) They're corny and have a pretty low chance for success.
As long as you stick to normal compliments, smile, and make sure you mean what you're saying (she'll see right through disingenuous compliments), you'll be just fine.
3. Make Her Laugh
One of the most enjoyable aspects of flirting is how casual it is (if done correctly). Flirting isn't some sacred conversational formality. It's fun.
And making a conversation fun and hilarious is easier than you might think. But of course, how you make a girl laugh depends on your personality and sense of humor. We can help you with that, but only you know what works for you.
And while we're on the subject of teasing, here are a few good examples of playful teasing that are sure to make her giggle:
- Stereotype her in a silly way. (If she tells you something she likes, say, "Oh you're one of those people." and roll your eyes. Then immediately give her a cheeky smile.)
- Give her a silly nickname. (The more absurd the better. For example, if she's wearing green, call her "green bean." It's fun to say out loud, not rude, and doesn't point out any of her potential flaws.)
- Accuse her of hitting on you. (Example: "Hey, I know my butt looks good but my eyes are up here.")
Remember: Teasing is playful, not hurtful so be careful not to say anything that could hurt her feelings.
And flirting is inherently silly so the more you make her laugh, the better your chances of getting her number.
4. Initiate a Light Touch
This step is one of the most important ones on this list because when someone we're attracted to touches us, we get excited, which results in an increased heart rate.
But even if we're not attracted to said person, a light tap on the arm or shoulder surprises us, which has the exact same effect on our physiology. Increased heart rate.
So in a flirting scenario, even if she's not 100% sold on you yet, a light touch can quickly change that.
Below are some examples of what I mean:
- When passing through a doorway, put your hand on her lower back and guide her through ahead of you. (It's a very sensitive part of the body and will arouse her because it's so close to her butt. Just remember to aim high so you don't get slapped.)
- Touching her arm between her shoulder and elbow is always a safe bet. (Pair it with something reasonable like a compliment or a comment on her tattoos or outfit.)
- Lightly push her if she teases you back. (Be aware of your surroundings and avoid pushing her into furniture or other people.)
Keep in mind social norms about personal space and if she recoils as you go in for a touch, you've made a mistake in your flirting process and might have to abort.
Gauge the situation and leave her alone if you think she's not interested. Continuing to bother her is a huge turnoff and will only waste both of your time.
But if you think you can recover, move onto step 5.
5. Keep the Conversation Moving
When learning how to flirt with a girl, you need to know how to keep a conversation going with her.
There are countless different tactics to make sure you never run out of things to say but here are the key things you should always do:
- Ask her questions about herself. (It shows your interested in her. Do this often.)
- Share your own stories. (Don't make her do all the talking!)
- Ask follow-up questions. (She says she went to Australia once? Ask her if she saw any sharks.)
Don't forget: You should be doing steps 2-4 multiple times throughout the conversation. They're not "one and done" actions.
Just be the most confident and best version of yourself you can be and you'll do just fine. And remember to have fun!
If you've done everything correctly up to this point, she's probably waiting for you to ask for her number.
And that's exactly what you should do.
So as long as you're feeling good about the interaction, you should have no problem thinking up a way to get her digits.
But just in case, here's a reasonable formula for asking:
- Tell her you enjoyed the conversation but it's time for you to part ways.
- Tell her you should do it again sometime.
- Ask for her number.
"Hey, so this has been fun and we should do it again some time, but it's time for me to go... I just need your number before I leave." Smile.
When you phrase it that way, you're not asking. You're telling, which shows assertiveness and confidence.
Or you can use humor:
"Hey, so this has been fun and we should do it again some time, but it's time for me to go... I just need your phone and social security numbers, mother's maiden name, and the name of your first pet before I leave." Smile.
How you close depends on the type of person you are, but if you've made it this far, you've already got her hooked.
All you have to do is ask.
How To Flirt With a Girl Over Text
Flirting over text uses a few of the same principles as flirting in person.
But flirting with a girl over text is easier than flirting in real time because you have more time to think of clever things to say. Of course, if you're too unlike yourself over text, she'll notice the difference when you're together.
We've done a whole write-up on how to flirt with a girl over text that has more information on this topic but we wanted to give you a pointer here on how to flirt with a girl and how to keep her engaged when you're not together.
1. Send her flirty texts
Flirty texts take creativity and quick thinking to come up with, so if you struggle with that, don't worry...
...We've got you covered with a ton of our best flirty texts for her.
- "You found me on the internet! Nice job, creeper :)" (I used this one last week after she added me on Facebook. We're hanging out tomorrow. Don't forget to tease!)
- "I wanted to wait a day longer to text you, but I couldn't wait that long to talk to you again." (I know, it's kind of cheesy, but lots of women like cheesy. It's charming.)
- "Send me a picture so I can send Santa my wish list." (No matter what time of year it is, you can always justify using this one.)
Girls like texting when they're bored. And while you shouldn't bend over backwards for a girl, if you want to keep her interested...
You have to be entertaining.
More Tips on How to Flirt With A Girl
Getting the girl has never been easier if you follow our other awesome articles.
- Make talking to girls easier with our post on how to talk to girls.
- We can also teach you how to ask a girl out if you're struggling there.
- Knowing how to get a girl to like you is easier than you think.
If there's one takeaway in this article it's this: Flirting should be fun for everyone involved.
So as long as you're engaging, interesting, and smooth when you flirt, you'll be able to keep her interested.
But I get it... If you're nervous about approaching girls you find ridiculously attractive, you'll never get better at flirting. So for easy practice, I recommend you stick to the standard definition of "Flirt" and try flirting without trying to get the girl.
When you flirt for fun, you're more relaxed, less nervous, and more inclined to try different flirting techniques.
Doing so will help you understand the nuances of how to flirt with a girl as well as develop your own flirting style and when you see a girl you REALLY like, you'll be comfortable and confident knowing you can flirt with her.
Just relax and remember: If one girl isn't interested, it's not the end of the world. There are countless others out there who will happily accept your advances.
Good luck, and happy flirting!