Gentlemen today we’re showing you 10 tips to teach you how to approach a girl with confidence like a true alpha male.
Whether it’s because a girl feels a little out of your league, or maybe she’s with her friends… or maybe you think you’ve already waited too long to make your move, it’s easy for approaching women to feel like something that’s always gonna be hard and even like something that’s kinda stressful.
But hang on. Because we’ve got 10 tips that’ll make a night and day difference in how you make your approach, and because we want to be 100% sure you don’t do anything to accidentally bomb your approach, (cause it happens) we’re also showing you the one thing to never, ever do under any circumstances.
Let’s get into it. Here are 10 tips on how to approach a girl with confidence like an alpha male plus the #1 thing not to do when making an approach:
One of the things that alphas know best is, how to approach a girl with confidence and that a lot of the time… approaching girls confidently is just about getting the wheels turning. And one of the best ways to do that, is to start with a simple, low-stakes game to get you warmed up and talking.
Now who’s ready to play? The goal is simple, introduce yourself to as many people as possible without rushing the conversation. Notice that we said people, not just girls. The point of the game is to keep the pressure low, remember?
So just slow things down, talk to whoever you can and get some conversational mileage. If there are girls, you’ll be virtually guaranteed to talk to them. So don’t worry about that. And worst case scenario? You’ll make some new friends. This will work best if you’ve got a big pool of people to talk to. Think somewhere like a festival, a bigger-than-usual party, or if you’re feeling bold and want to practice random approaches, somewhere like the mall.
9. Spin Move
If you’ve spent any time out there, you know that guys and girls can be a little… territorial. You go to a bar, there are regulars. You got to the gym, everybody knows each other. Most places have the same faces every day. Now it’s not like people are gonna automatically give you hard time, but it’s natural for people to form groups, be skeptical and know when a stranger has come around.
It’s science! And while it can be tricky in some situations, for an alpha, it also presents a unique opportunity to spin the territorial dynamic on its head and score an easy approach. Imagine you just started at a new school, a new job or moved to a new town, every time you see a girl (or anyone really) it’s the perfect opportunity to start a natural conversation… and control the narrative about you. Because remember this: The first impression is yours to lose. The idea is that you spin-out of stranger status, into being the new guy that everybody likes. Use people’s natural curiosity to your benefit. And the best part about this? Just about everywhere you go on a daily basis has the potential to leverage your “new guy” status for an simple approach.
Not only have you probably heard us talk about the bringing a wingman to talk to girls, you probably also know the importance of it from firsthand experience.
But the value of a wingman isn’t just that they say you’re alpha, in a lot of ways, they’ll help you show it. The reason wingman are so awesome is that having a sidekick plays heavily into how girls see you in your approach. In other words, it’s 100% about optics.
Optics are something that every politician and celebrity is aware of: How does this look to other people? And while it’s not a question an alpha should live by, it is one you’ve got to be aware of. Because like it or not, everybody, including girls, is judging based entirely on how things look. Back to the wingman: More than anything, a wingman helps you not look alone. While being a lone wolf is cool sometimes, you can’t be an alpha without a friend or two. So if you’re looking for one of the simplest ways to make approaching drastically easier: Don’t leave home without a sidekick.
7. Animal Brain
Every guy has a part of him that on some level, knows exactly what to do. Alright maybe not exactly, but at least knows generally what to do. Whether it’s getting you safely through traffic, throwing a baseball or knowing how to dance, somewhere in your brain… you sort of know how things work. Well that part of your brain is your animal brain, and dudes in touch with their alpha side are able to tap into it when needed. While it’s not a perfect system, it’s great at some things compared to the more logical, rational and cautious part of your thinking. And that includes approaching girls.
Have you ever heard the phrase: “He gets in his own way?” Well that’s used to describe the hesitation brought on by an analytical mind. It’s what causes guys to think about how things can go wrong… and nervously approach girls or not approach at all. It goes against the nature of a lot of guys, but the sooner you can learn to listen to your instincts… the sooner you’ll see how much of a difference it really makes when approaching girls.
6. Make It A Group Thing
One of the things that makes approaching hard for anybody, including alphas, is “selling” the idea that a girl has to hang out one-on-one with just you. And it makes sense, right? If a girl doesn’t know you, then good luck getting her to hang out without learning who you are first. So, how to approach a girl with confidence when she’s in a group? Well the good news is that there’s an easy way around that: Instead of approaching a girl to hang out with just you alone, take the pressure of yourself (and her) by inviting her and her friends to join your group. Not only will you be approaching without such a daunting challenge to yourself, but hanging out among friends is also much easier, and probably more fun, for the both of you.
5. Go Out Of Town
Here’s a wildcard tip for ya on how to approach a girl with confidence. If you’re terrified to test out your approach with women in your area then go an hour out of town. Sometimes all it takes to get that alpha-confidence when approaching women, is practicing where you won’t be remembered if you don’t succeed. Now obviously, doing this too much would be impractical and to be honest, a little creepy. It’s probably not something you want to make a habit of. But next time you find yourself somewhere new, it can be a good opportunity to try some new things, and put yourself out there in a way you might not on your home turf.
4. Get In With The Group
This might be the true test of alpha persuasion and a real challenge in how to approach a girl with confidence like a real alpha: group acceptance. Many times if you try to approach a girl who’s part of a group, you’ll often find her crew tries to prevent you, or anyone, from getting too close. It’s subtle, but it’s there. And a lot of the time, knowing that she’s protected by her friends, is enough to keep you away.
So what do you do? It’s simple. Just open up and become friends with the entire group. Instead of trying to get around her friends, work with her friends. If you see a group of two or three girls, walk up to them and open the conversation to ALL the girls… they know you probably just like one of them, it’s OK. But this is a basic test of politeness and honesty they’re giving you. So ask them all questions, get all their opinions and get them talking with you. As soon as you get rapport with her friends, they’ll let their guard down… and give you the all clear to talk to the one you’re really interested in.
3. Optical Infusion
An important thing to remember when learning how to approach a girl with confidence is eye contact. Eye contact is kind of like the king of body language. If you master it, it’s kind of like a cheat code. Not only can it do all the talking for you, but it can even remove all the friction that prevents you from approaching. The goal of truly effective eye contact is to discreetly rouse a girl’s curiosity. Ready to learn? Here’s how you do it: As soon you catch her looking, lock your gaze with hers for a second and then: Slowly look away. But it’s not over yet, if you catch her looking again, repeat the process. Only this time, be sure to smile. If she’s really interested, she’ll smile back and will almost definitely be more receptive to your approach. You’ve successfully infused an interaction with the inviting, friendly eye contact with the woman you like.
Unconventional? Sure. Everywhere has probably told you that if you want to be alpha, you’ve got to man up and not break eye contact because it shows weakness. The only thing is, overly-dominant eye contact that borders on intimidating is not what a girl wants and is usually something they see through immediately.
2. Embrace The Awkward
What a lot of guys don’t think about, when learning how to approach a girl with confidence, is that even though girls have most of the control, they’re usually just as nervous to talk to you, as you are to them. Whether they’re better at hiding it, or guys just aren’t as good at seeing it, an initial approach is always at least a little bit awkward for both parties. Which as you might’ve guessed, presents the perfect opportunity: Demonstrating alpha value. When you make your approach, a girl is looking for at least one of 3 value-adds: Confidence, Sense of humor, Awareness. And what embracing the initial awkward moments of an approach does, is guarantee that you show at least one. The hard part about this one? You can’t get the guarantee unless you try.
1. If All Else Fails…
Let’s say you’ve prepared your best and you go in for the approach but you freeze. What then? What’s your backup plan? If all else fails and you’re at a loss to try anything, just compliment her shoes and ask her where she got them. Embrace the awkward, remember? Girls love their shoes so she will want to talk about them. And hearing her talk will help to break the ice and loosen up ground for further conversation.
Here’s another extremely important thing to remember on how to approach a girl with confidence. Alright so you’re walking up to a girl, she sees you, you see her. You’re making the move, it’s happening. So what do you want to definitely not do right now? Look at another girl. The reason you’re going in for the approach is because you successfully sent the signal that she’s gonna like what she gets when you start talking. But if you get caught looking, even glancing at another girl in that moment, it’s all gone. A lot of guys think this part is easy, or that girls don’t notice. But they do, and by far… it’s the easiest way to completely blow an otherwise great opportunity with a girl.
Those are 10 crafty tips on how to approach a girl instantly with confidence like an alpha and skyrocket your approaching success rate.
And while you’re here, why not check out these other powerful videos? These two are perfect follow-ups to today’s vid.