How to start a conversation with a girl? It doesn’t take a relationship expert to figure out how. So, why does it seem so difficult?
A lot of guys struggle to find a way to start a conversation. It can feel like walking into unknown territory… and that can be very intimidating.
You’ve probably felt the anxiety of wanting to talk to a girl to but not knowing how to get things started. You know that you’re a kind, interesting guy… you just have to get her to see that too.
Whether you need to know how to get a girlfriend or just want to know how to talk to girls for casual fun… knowing how to start a conversation with a girl will help you get over those butterflies and make a great first impression.
In this article you’ll learn the techniques you need to start a conversation in any situation.
Why is Knowing How To Start A Conversation With A Girl So Important?
Ask any girl what women want in a man and she’s likely to say confidence, a sense of humor, and intelligence… among other things. Knowing how to start a conversation with a girl shows her you have everything she’s looking for without having to show off or list all your best traits.
Once you know how to start a conversation with a girl you’ll have all the skills to put your best foot forward and make her want to spend more time with you.
In fact, a great first conversation makes it more likely that she’ll say yes to a drink or a date, letting you continue to show her what a catch you are. Isn't that what it's all about?
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl: 8 Steps
You don’t need to be a relationship expert to know how to start a conversation with a girl. You don’t have to be smooth or rich or handsome. You don’t have to know any magic pickup lines.
Forget about the tricks and gimmicks… the key to talking to girls is being genuine.
That’s why there is no script for starting conversations. After all, you’re not acting... you’re talking. That’s where this technique for how to start a conversation with a girl comes in.
Follow these steps to stop being nervous and focus on letting your best self shine through. And you don’t have to worry about forgetting your lines. Just set the stage and be yourself.
1. Approach Her
This might seem obvious, but in order to have a face to face conversation with a girl you have to actually get near her. Knowing how to approach a girl the right way will make her more open to talking with you.
Try to make eye contact as you approach. This signals your interest and lets her know that the conversation you’re about to have is intentional, not accidental. Making contact also reveals whether she’s open to a conversation. If she looks away or avoids contact it might be a sign she’s not feeling it.
Once you’ve walked up to her, think about how you position yourself. You can accidentally make women uncomfortable by not thinking about how you stand. Don't accidentally trap or corner her and she'll feel much more at ease talking to you. Stand (or sit) at a comfortable distance and face her. Show her she has your attention and that you value hers too.
Then smile and say hello. This sets the tone for a comfortable conversation and makes you appear confident without being cocky. It seems basic, but a simple hello goes a long way
2. Know What To Say To Start A Conversation
A lot of guys think that figuring out what to say to a girl is the hardest part in this process. They worry they’ll say the wrong thing or make a fool of themselves. In reality, you already know a ton of things to talk about with a girl.
You don’t need magic words, just talk about the same things everybody likes talking about. Once you realize that pretty girl is still a normal person, you’ll feel much more comfortable talking to her.
- Where you are
A great way to strike up a conversation is by talking about where you are. What does she think of the music? The drinks? The atmosphere? Ask for her opinion and offer yours in return.
- How she’s doing
You can never go wrong with “How are you?” Ask her follow up questions to find a more lasting topic. What was the best part of her day? What was the most fun she had recently? What was the highlight of the week?
- Something you share
You’re at the same place at the moment, so you at least have that in common. How did she find herself here? Does she study nearby? Do you have shared friends?
Once you’ve broken the ice, keep the conversation going using one of these tried and true tips:
Tip 1: Use conversation starters
Conversation starters work best once you’ve broken the ice. Try one of these once you've introduced yourself.
1. What do you do with your free time?
Maybe you have a pastime in common.
2. What’s your favorite book/movie?
Get a recommendation and share your favorite too.
3. What’s the coolest place you've ever been?
Travel stories are the best stories.
Tip 2: Ask Questions to Ask a Girl
To get to know her more personally, use questions to ask a girl. Ask one of these questions that are all about her.
4. What’s on your bucket list?
What are her biggest goals?
5. What was your worst job?
Every terrible job is a chance for growth... and great stories.
6. What are your dreams?
Hopes and dreams are perfect conversation topics.
3. Read Her Cues
Once you’ve approached her and struck up a conversation, pay attention to the signals she gives you. If she’s smiling, making eye contact, and engaging in the conversation you can bet she’s enjoying talking to you. Keep it up!
If her answers are short, she keeps checking her phone, or she otherwise seems uninterested, take that as a hint that she’s not feeling it. Don’t take it personally. Some people just don’t click. Wish her well, brush it off, and find someone else you’ll get along with better.
4. Be Yourself
Girls can tell when you’re being real and when you’re putting on a show, and they always prefer the real thing. Being genuine will help you make more meaningful connections and get to know people you’ll actually like.
Not only that, you’ll also have much more fun when you’re relaxed and being yourself. You’ll get out of your own head and let the conversation flow.
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl You Like
So far we’ve been talking about how to start a conversation with a girl you just met, but what about how to talk to a girl you like and already know?
Talking to a girl you like can be intimidating. Your feelings are involved, after all. The good news is that since you already know some things about her it can actually be much easier to start a conversation. Use what you know and like about her to start a conversation.
5. Know Things to Say To a Girl You Like To Start A Conversation
Good conversations are one of the best opportunities you have to show your interest and flirt with a girl you like. Unfortunately, flirting is like common sense… it can’t be taught but it can be developed. The good news is there are plenty of things to say to a girl you like to start the conversation and let the flirting happen naturally.
- Ask her about herself
Show that you pay attention to her and that you care about her by discussing things you know she finds important.
- Talk about shared interests
Bring up something you have in common and ask for her thoughts.
- Ask for her opinion
Whether the question is serious or goofy, this shows that you value her opinion and want her input.
6. Show Your Interest
A lot of guys go wrong by not making it clear that they like the girl they're talking to. You don't want to come on too strong, but you should let her know that you would like to be more than just friends.
Start a conversation and show your interest using these options:
Option 1: Compliment Her
A lot of guys think they know how to compliment a girl, but are surprised when their cat calls and pick up lines don't work. The best compliments for girls aren't about her looks, they're about her character.
Compliment her on something she did well recently. Or on the way she treats other people. Comments like that are much more meaningful than remarks about her body.
Option 2: Say Something Sweet
There's a fine line between being sweet and being cheesy, and you definitely don't want to fall on the cheesy side. Sweet things to say to a girl should show your emotional side. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and you'll show her its OK if she is too.
Tell her that she's important to you or describe how you feel when you're with her. Show her that you have feelings towards her and she'll be much more likely to reveal her own feelings.
How to Start a Text Conversation With A Girl
Since we spend so much time on our phones, its important that you know how to start a text conversation with a girl. The best text conversation starters are lighthearted and playful, since deep conversations are best had in person.
7. What's your favorite place in the whole world?
This question leads to some great stories. Ask for pics from a recent trip too!
8. What do your most used emojis say about you?
Emojis communicate things that words just can't.
9. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
Asking what she'd wish for and why leads to great conversations.
Pro Tip #: Ask Questions to Ask a Girl Over Text
There are tons of other great questions to ask a girl over text. Even if they don't lead to a long conversation they'll at least let her know she's on your mind.
10. What's the most trouble you got into as a kid?
Let her tell a story of a time she was a little naughty.
11. When was the last time you did something outside your comfort zone?
Facing fears makes us stronger. When was the last time she did so?
12. What's the first thing you notice in a guy?
This question has great flirting potential.
How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl... After You Start A Conversation
It's important to know how to keep a conversation going with a girl so that things don't awkwardly fade into silence. The more you talk the more chemistry you'll create... and the more likely she'll want to talk to you again.
7. Use good topics to talk about with a girl
Use conversation topics that anyone can relate to. You want to find a rich topic with a lot of possibilities. Choose topics that are important to you so the conversation feels genuine and enjoyable.
For example... talk about relationships, values, or goals. Any one of those topics could get two people talking for hours.
8. Ask Questions To Ask a Girl To Get To Know Her
Knowing the right questions to ask a girl to get to know her is a great way towards a lasting conversation and a more personal relationship. Use questions to ask a girl that will allow her to show her true self.
13. What would you do differently if you ruled the world?
What would she do with unlimited power?
14. What are you most looking forward to in life?
Do a little daydreaming together.
15. What fictional character do you relate to most?
The answer to this can tell you a lot about her personality.
How To Start A Conversation With Girls At Parties
Parties are usually loud with a lot of activity, so it can be hard to figure out how to talk to girls at parties. When you've met a girl you want to have a conversation with, ask if she'd like to go to a quieter area where the two of you can talk. Then use the same techniques you would otherwise.
More Steps On How To Talk To Girls
Looking for more great resources and tips to help you talk to girls? Check out these great posts.
- Start exercising those thumbs and learn how to text a girl.
- Get your flirt on once you learn how to text a girl you like.
- Clear your nights and weekends after you learn how to ask her out.
- Show your crush that you're into her once you master how to flirt with a girl.
If you've been wondering how to get a girlfriend the first step is learning how to start a conversation with a girl. All relationships start somewhere, and a great conversation is a perfect beginning.