Alright guys, let’s talk about how to get out of the friend zone. You’re faced with the dreaded dilemma: The girl you’re totally into has no idea that you stay up all night thinking about her.
She says, “You’re like a brother to me.” You force a smile while cringing inwardly.
This is the friend zone. Few things are more painful for a man than spending time with your crush when it’s not the kind of quality time that will lead you anywhere near where you want to be with her: in a real relationship.
Fear not. You do not have to settle for something platonic when you want more and are prepared to give more.
Simply put, the friend zone is a state of unrequited love. You’re attracted to her. You want to touch her, hold her, and call her yours. But, she sees you as BFF, and nothing more:
She talks to you about other guys she’s into like it doesn’t kill you inside. At worst, you do things a boyfriend would do for her without actually being her boyfriend: You help her move. You’re her shoulder to cry on.
You tell yourself you do all these things for her because you’re a nice guy, and you are. But, the intention behind your attention is not translating.
For guys, the friend zone is the frustrating result of poor communication.
To understand how to get out of the friend zone, you’ve got to keep in mind that for women, it’s different. To girls, the friend zone is comfortable. They see you as safe and dependable.
Your lukewarm initiative meets her lukewarm response.
Gentlemen, it’s simply a matter of turning on the heat. Forget about “not wanting to ruin the friendship.” One more day of pretending that that’s all you want is like lying to yourself and to her.
Commit to your true feelings for her and communicate that you have. She will respond. She will also respect your courage and honesty.
Getting out of the friend zone is important for your sanity. Always holding back your feelings while pretending to be “just a friend” is exhausting. When you hold back, people around you feel that tension. It’s not attractive.
Leaving the friend zone behind is part of personal integrity and living in your truth. If you feel it, say it. It’s a form of self-respect, and there is nothing hotter than that.
Although we can all relate, there is nothing exciting about the fear of rejection. Fear is boring. You deserve more than to wallow in it.
You’ve also got to see this as bigger than whether or not your crush reciprocates. Sure, there is a slight chance that you’re just not her type. Can you be okay with that, and still give getting out of the friend zone all you’ve got?
You’re not risking your dignity for her. You’re committing to your own personal growth. This is the definition of strength and the mark of a true man.
Here are our 6 surefire steps for how to get out of the friend zone:
Step 1: Flirt With Her
We flirt to show we want to deepen the connection. It is a crucial part of how to get out of the friend zone. Anyone can do it with the right mindset.
Here are the 3 key points for how to flirt with a girl:
1.Make Eye Contact:
Your eyes hold the power of your presence. Use them to tell your girl that 110% of your attention is on her.
2. Smile at Her:
When you’re around her, she makes you feel like a million bucks. That pure positivity needs to radiate from your smile.
You’ve got to commit to your smile with such consistent, unselfconscious confidence that she can’t help but feel warm inside.
3. Use Touch Intentionally:
Well-timed touch is going to be your most powerful signal. Touch her arm or elbow. A protective hand at the small of her back when out and about is a distinctly masculine gesture that speaks volumes.
Step 2: Text Her
Letting a girl know you’re thinking of her throughout the day is a must for how to get out of the friend zone.
Here are 2 options for how to text a girl:
Option 1: Send Her Flirty Texts
Be playful with a little light teasing. Add a winking face emoticon to let her know you’re playing.
Call her by a cute nickname. Text her: “If you were an animal, what would you be and why?” Boom. Instant nickname.
Here are some other flirty texts for her:
“I can’t sleep. I blame you.”
“What does your week look like? Any room for me?”
“I was just talking about you the other day.”
Option 2: Send love messages
If your crush has responded positively to your flirty texts, it’s time to level up.
Here are some sweet love messages for her:
“You’re always in my heart.”
“If I told you I couldn’t live without you, would you know I’m trying to tell you I love you?”
“You make me want to be a better man.”
Step 3: Impress Her
Your crush wants to be proud to be seen on your arm. Beyond how to get out of the friend zone, you’ll gain self-respect and personal pride.
Here are 5 recommendations for how to impress a girl:
- Be excellent: “Work on the big things: yourself and your contributions to the world around you.” –John Gorman
- Have critical thinking skills: “Intelligence is problem-solving– finding or figuring out the answer, not remembering it.” –Kris Gage
- Be committed to your values: Women want a man who forms his own opinions about important issues, not one who parrots the opinions of others.
- Exhibit self-discipline: When you commit to your own goals, it translates as your capacity to commit to her.
- Demonstrate emotional stability: Can you take responsibility for yourself? Can you communicate your needs calmly and clearly? If so, to her, you are pure gold.
Step 4: Get Her to Like You
You’ve got tons to offer, and it’s just a matter of showing it.
Here are some great tips on how to get a girl to like you:
- Be your own person: Balance your devotion to her with living your own life. This is how to get out of the friend zone.
- Be respectful: We know you always intend to be, but misunderstandings happen. When they do, communicate openly and honestly.
- Take pride in your presentation: Don’t be afraid to learn new ways to improve your appearance. You were meant to own your personal style choices.
Step 5: Tell Her You Like Her
Any dude can spout platitudes about her soft skin or her physical beauty. Show her that you love her inside and out by noting beautiful aspects of her character that perhaps nobody else has recognized in her before.
Here are 2 solid options for how to tell a girl you like her:
Option 1: Compliment Her
Here’s our key rec for how to compliment a girl:
Focus on complimenting qualities that your girl has cultivated in herself through diligence and hard work, rather than something static like height or eye color. It shows much more depth on your part. It shows that you see her effort and recognize her values.
Here are two examples of high-level compliments for girls:
- “I really admired what you said to (person x) about (issue y). You stood up for what you believe in. The courage you showed is sure to help others in the same situation.”
- “I love how passionate you are about (x). You make me want to learn more about (x) when I hear how lovingly you talk about it.”
Option 2: Say Sweet Things to Her
Depth and insight are important, but so are simplicity and sweetness.
Here are some sweet things to say to a girl:
- “You’re stunning:” This can refer to her beauty, intelligence, character, courage, and strength, all rolled into one.
- “You’re everything to me:” Every part of your life is better with her in it.“I love you, not in spite of your quirks, but because of them:” Her imperfections make her perfect in your eyes.
Step 6: Ask Her Out
When you have flirted enough to feel the heat of your crush flirting back, it’s time to ask her out. You have officially mastered how to get out of the friend zone.
Here are some ideas for how to ask a girl out:
- Surprise her after work: Nonchalantly check to make sure she’s free beforehand. Plan something special. The sky’s the limit!
- Combine the question with food: Literally. Food is the way to many women’s hearts. Get out the cake decorations.
- Writing with a twist: Pop the question in the sand. Chalk it on the driveway. Pen it on the mirror for her to find after her shower.
Looking for more tips on how to get the girl, check these out:
- Learning how to talk to girls is a key part of how to get out of the friend zone.
- Before that, make sure you know the best ways for how to approach a girl.
- When you’re finally with her, understanding women will help you make the best of your growing love.
Now that you’re set on how to get out of the friend zone, it’s time to take action. Whether your first step is sending a sweet text or a spontaneous surprise, we’re behind you all the way.