You see her across the room, but you can't get up the gumption to say anything because you just don't know how to talk to a girl you like.
Don't feel ashamed. That's a problem plenty of guys struggle with. Not knowing how to talk to girls is one of the main reasons it can be so hard to figure out how to get a girlfriend.
While it may not feel like it when you see another opportunity pass you by, it's actually fairly easy to get past this problem.
If you just follow the right steps, you'll be able to solve how to talk to a girl you like, and what's more, you'll figure out how to make her want to talk to you too.
Why is Knowing Exactly How To Talk To A Girl You Like So Important?
No matter how you look at it, you won't be able to get very far with your romantic goals if you can't figure out how to talk to the girl that you like.
On some level, talking is still the most important skill you can have when it comes to moving to that next step with a girl. You can have all kinds of style or skill or a great car, but if you can't talk, you'll never get beyond smiles and potential.
Once you learn to talk to girls you like, though, and really talk to them, a whole world of opportunities can open up.
Talking is really how you get from A to B with a girl, from seeing her to getting her number, or from saying hi to getting a date.
Luckily for you, you can move on to B finally by just following the steps below.
How To Talk To A Girl You Like: 10 Steps
When it comes to solving the problem of figuring out how to talk to the girl you like, it really is just a process of steps.
If you work your way through these 7 steps, one at a time, you'll do more than just figure out how to talk to the girl you like, you'll move your chances of something serious significantly farther along, and you'll have had a nice conversation as well.
1. Be Yourself
If you're about to speak to a girl, your brain is probably going a mile a minute. Take a deep breath and relax.
Girls can tell when you're putting on a show or trying too hard. Sure, you want to show her the best possible version of yourself, but don't try to be someone you're not.
Authenticity is the key to gaining her trust and (eventually) her friendship. From there, you may be able to move into more romantic territories, but that's not guaranteed.
Never underestimate the power of a warm smile. You may have heard that girls like the bad boy. That may be true for a very small percentage of women, but the reality is that most girls just want a cool, genuine guy who knows how to have a good time.
Again, it's important to be the best version of yourself. If you're not normally super goofy, don't force it. Just do your best to be positive and upbeat, and in most cases, she'll respond the same way.
3. Consider The Timing
If you want to talk to the cute barista at your local coffee joint, don't do it while there's a long line of customers behind you. Wait for an appropriate opportunity so you can both give each other your undivided attention.
Sometimes, the right moment just happens out of nowhere. While you may want to plan the perfect time to finally chat her up, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. Be aware of context clues such as her mood, where she is, who she's with, and so on. When the time is right, you'll know it.
At the same time, don't let precious time fly by trying to find that perfect moment. Sometimes you just have to go for it.
4. Approach The Girl You Like
This step is perhaps a bit obvious. After all, you can't talk if you don't approach the girl. But for many, figuring out how to approach a girl is as difficult as figuring out how to talk to her.
The key to this is timing and confidence (or faked confidence). Wait for a moment when she looks like she isn't engaged in anything too serious, and then try to approach as calmly and self-assuredly as possible.
To look more confident, don't avoid eye contact and make straight for her.
5. Start A Conversation With A Girl You Like
Now that you're standing next to her, you've got to actually figure out what to say. Don't get nervous. Knowing how to start a conversation with a girl is really just a matter of figuring out the right thing to say in the moment.
To help, use some conversation starters. These can be as basic as discussing a shared class or the event you're at. Or, try to ask her a unique question.
Mantelligence has a long list of conversation starter options for you to use.
6. Know How to Respond to A Girl You Like
While this is more of an instinctive step, it's an important one to mention. Use all your conversation skills to work with the conversation she gives you.
Listen to what she's saying, ask questions, and try to respond thoughtfully. The better you respond to her conversation, the more she'll feel pulled into the conversation.
7. Know What To Say Next To A Girl You Like
So, you've used your conversation starter, you've responded to her polite responses...now what?
Now, you need to know what to say to a girl after you've gotten past the introductions. You need things to talk about with a girl that go beyond a quick question.
Basically, you need something to say that communicates your interest. To do that, just choose one of the options below.
Option 1: Compliment Her
You probably already know that compliments for girls can get you pretty far, but you may not yet know how to compliment a girl.
The best way to go about this is to keep it simple and start casual and genuine. If you share a class, compliment her on an answer she gave. If she's wearing a nice outfit, tell her.
Don't try to go too hot and heavy or too intimate in this conversation. Save that for after you get closer.
Option 2: Say Sweet Things To a Girl You Like
Similar to Option 1 but still distinct, one of the best things to say to a girl you like is just something sweet. There are plenty of sweet things to say to a girl that come off well no matter how well you know her (or don't).
Try telling her that you're glad she's feeling better if she was recently ill, or ask if she needs any help with her homework if you've heard she's struggling with a class.
Or, just tell her you've been really wanting to talk to her for a while and it's nice to finally chat.
8. Keep The Conversation Going With A Girl You Like
After you've given a compliment or said something sweet (or if you aren't comfortable being so direct at this point), then it's time to figure out how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
The best method for this is usually to redirect the conversation to the general and build back to those more focused comments.
Talk about the event you're at or mutual friends. Gossip a bit if she seems inclined. Use your surroundings and shared experiences to build the conversation around.
Keep it general but keep it interesting, and most importantly, just keep it going for a while.
9. Ask Questions To Ask a Girl You Like
At this point, you've used a good conversation starter, given a compliment, and had a bit of chit-chat. Now you want to dig a little deeper into her. It's time to ask questions.
While questions can be employed for any step, you should make a point of specifically having questions to ask a girl at this point.
With questions to ask a girl you like, make sure they stay on point and within bounds. Basically, ask her anything, but don't get too intimate in this conversation.
Ask her opinion about things she shows interest in, from TV shows to sports teams. Ask her for advice on how to solve a problem so she can show off a bit. Ask her about her preferences for nights out.
10. Don't Walk Away Without Being Sure You'll Talk Again Soon
Once you've asked your questions, congratulations, you've succeeded at solving how to talk to the girl you like. All that's left is to make sure you leave the conversation with a way to continue it later.
That can be as simple as telling her you'd like to chat again soon, or as bold as getting her number or even asking her out.
Whatever you choose, make sure it's clear to her that you don't want this to be a one-off.
How To Talk To A Girl You Like Over Text: 3 Steps
If you've already gotten her number, you're doing pretty well for yourself, but you may be sweating how to text a girl you like.
As with just learning how to talk to the girl you like or how to text a girl in the first place, it's all a matter of following the steps.
1. Start a Text Conversation With a Girl You Like
You used them above, so use them here. With some text conversation starters, you never have to worry about how to start a text conversation with a girl.
Just drop an interesting comment or a great question, and you'll have a way of avoiding needing a good excuse to write her in the first place.
With this, you can go simple by asking about her favorite movies, or more amusing by asking if she'd rather bubble gum taste like fish or fish like bubble gum. Or, just send her a meme you think she'll laugh at.
Just give her something to think over or to laugh at, and she'll be happy to respond.
2. Know What To Text A Girl You Like
Once you have her with a conversation starter, let the conversation naturally. If there's a slow-down, try these options when you aren't sure what to text a girl next.
Option 1: Ask Questions To Ask a Girl Over Text
If you aren't sure where to go next, try some questions to ask a girl over text. Questions, once again, are always the best option.
You can ask her about your mutual friends or classes. Or, ask her something a little deeper, like where she would be in ten years if money was no object. Or, keep it a little lighter by asking about her spirit animal.
Option 2: Send a Good Morning Text For Her
If it's early enough in the morning, use this as a fall back for your conversation. A good morning text for her will make her feel special and let her know how much you think of her.
Just drop in that you were excited to talk to her first thing or ask her if she slept well. You can also move on and start talking about dreams, both future and bedtime variety.
Option 3: Send a Good Night Text For Her
On the opposite end, make her message a good night text for her.
You can wish her sweet dreams and ask her to contact you tomorrow. Or, turn it into a conversation about the things that always make her stay up all night.
Option 4: Send Flirty Texts For Her
A final option when you aren't sure what to text after your conversation starter is to be bold and jump in there with some flirty texts for her.
Tell her she looked great and then ask her if she noticed just how good you were looking too. Ask her about her deepest secrets and then ask if any involve you.
Keep it fun and silly, but you can use texts to really show your feelings.
3. Transition from Text to Person
Just like with the in-person situation above. When your text conversation is done, build towards the next conversation or meeting.
Set up a conversation at school or work, or at least tell her you'll text again tomorrow.
How To Talk To A Girl You Like At Parties
When you want to know how to talk to a girl you like, the ideal situation is you catch her alone. However, in a party situation, that isn't always possible.
Then, you need to figure out how to talk to girls at parties, which luckily, isn't that different from talking to a girl you like in general.
The main difference here is that you've got to make a point of incorporating others into the conversation.
If you have a friend to approach with you, that makes this easier, since they can handle most of the side conversation with her friends. If not, be polite and friendly, but just focus your attention on her and use the steps above.
The #1 Thing Guys Do that Guarantees Rejection
Alright, here it is. The 1 thing that - when talking to girls - will result in an epic fail every single time.
Guys give off countless hints that the only thing they’re interested in is hooking up, and a pickup line is one of the most obvious.
That’s because a pickup line signals two very important things to a girl: Your interest in her is not genuine and whatever you’re saying is probably not sincere, and 2) You’re not as witty as you think you are.
So it’s best to avoid the pickup line approach and think of something more clever to say.
More Steps On How To Talk To A Girl You Like
There's more to picking up a girlfriend than just knowing how to talk to a girl you like. You also need all of these skills:
- Learn how to text a girl when you get to that next step and want to keep going.
- Impress a girl at a first meeting or on a first date by showing her you know how to flirt with a girl.
- Find out how to ask a girl out so you're that much closer to girlfriend territory.
Perhaps the first major step to learning how to get a girlfriend is learning how to talk to a girl you like. If you can talk, you can get closer and build towards something more serious.
For some guys, that big conversation can be terrifying, but if you just follow the steps above, you'll know how to talk to girls in no time.
Once you get it right, it's a skill that never leaves you. Which is great news, because it's a skill you'll always need.