Gentlemen, today we’re showing you 10 powerful ways on how to stop being shy around a girl... and start becoming the outspoken and charismatic guy you know you are.
And because we want your newfound confidence to be a genuine part of your personality, we’re also showing the #1 trap guys fall into that actually undermines their confidence and sends them sliding right back towards shyness.
Let’s jump in.
10 Ways On How To Stop Being Shy Around A Girl
10. Know Thyself
To kick off our list we’re going back to the basics... way, way back. All the way to the father of Western Philosophy and heavyweight champion of the world... Socrates.
Socrates once said this: “The unexamined life... is not worth living.” In other words, to live your life to the fullest, you’ve got to think about what makes you who you are.
OK... A) haven’t we said this before? And B? What does knowing myself have to do with being shy? I’ll tell you. There are 2 types of shyness in this world: Shyness as a result of being uncomfortable around others... and shyness as a result of being uncomfortable with yourself.
We’ll talk about the first kind in a minute, but for now... We’re gonna let you in on how to handle shyness that’s a result of being uncomfortable with yourself.
Basically, if you’re not comfortable with yourself, meaning you don’t like the way you look, you don’t think you’re that interesting or you’re not a “people person,” most of the time you’re hanging out with anybody, and especially girls, all you’re going to be thinking about are your shortcomings.
Bringing it all back... Taking the time to learn who you are, what you like, what you’re interested in, what you’re good at, and getting comfortable with what you’re less good at, is the only way to reach the level of unbreakable confidence that comes with being less of a shy guy.
9. Do the Reps
No matter the cause of your shyness, if it’s something you worry about, you can either accept that it’s part of who you are (which might be just fine) or you’re gonna have to put in some work to move past it.
Since you’re here, you’ve probably thought about being more outgoing as a door-opener that you’re not exactly taking advantage of. So how do you practice being less shy? Exposure.
Exposure therapy is a technique used by therapists around the world to get people to... change their ways. It works for anything. Want to get better at public speaking? Get exposed to more public speaking events. Scared of cats? It’ll work for that too. Shy around girls? More exposure to them is all you need. Just like getting strong in the gym. high volume, low pressure is key.
If you want to get better, practice in relaxed, no-consequence situations. Talk to new people (guys and girls) everyday. Small talk, big talk, whatever. Just chat.
You’ll learn what kind of conversation you’re good at, what you need to work on, and you’ll also become way less shy around everyone.
8. Keep It High Level
For quiet guys, burn out can happen quickly. And breaking outta that shell is hard work. But what most guys don’t know, is that extroverts have a lot of little tricks up their sleeves to make it look like it all comes naturally. But we’re callin’ shenanigans cause like everything, there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes.
The trick to success with girls... isn’t just to try to be less shy, it’s to get girls to be more receptive. It kinda works like jiu jitsu. With a few smart moves, you can use the right leverage at the right time, and most of the hard work is done. You’ve saved your juice and you don’t even have to worry about being shy.
So, moral of the story, learn jiu jitsu, use girl’s momentum against them.
And oh, what’s this? A Vincero watch? What perfect timing! Today’s video is sponsored by Vincero and as it happens, they also know a thing or two about using that old brain muscle to git’ what ya want.
For shy guys, or any guy, a watch should be part of any guy’s Batcave. It’s not gonna do the dishes for ya, but it can do some of the heavy lifting when it comes to sparking up conversations with girls.
It works like this: Where guys see girls as pretty much thumbs up, thumbs down... It’s a little more complicated on the ladies’ side.
Girls look at guys as the sum of their parts... meaning, and the good news with women, it’s never pass/fail. You can always do something to put you up a few points and avoid… sudden death.
So… added to all of your other awesomeness, a nice, classic watch... is often enough to push you past the line, and get girls to lure you out of your shy demeanor.
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7. Stock Up
Here’s a little old trick on how to stop being shy around a girl which we stole when we cut a hole into the fence and took a trip to PUA-land... but it’s one we think helps a lot of guys break through shyness.
For better or worse, memorizing a few conversation starters is a timeless strategy. And the reason why it works? It makes guys get out of their own way. By preparing beforehand, they don’t have to worry about what they’re gonna talk about, they’ve got that covered. And as a result, less shyness. Less you. More do.
The only thing is, while canned responses may make opening conversations easier, more often than not, conversation starters can feel forced and unnatural. Instead of feeling shy, you just end up feeling awkward... and kinda like you were right for being shy, and maybe like you should think about going back to school.
Well slow down there! Cause it ain’t all bad. Just get in the habit of taking stock of what’s around you. Simply by being more observant, you’ll find yourself with no shortage of things to talk about.
6. Be Like Mike
Legend has it that Michael Jordan wore his college shorts underneath his Bulls uniform for every single game. Superstition? Or the key to 6 NBA titles and 5 MVPs? You tell me.
Either way, MJ’s lucky shorts might hold the key to being less shy around girls. What do we mean? Dressing in a way that makes you feel good about yourself gives you a boost of confidence that is anything but superstition.
So don’t be ashamed to take a look in the mirror before you leave the house. Soak it up.
Give yourself some credit. And once you’re sure you like the way you look... You’ll deal with some of the self-consciousness at the root of shyness and start approaching girls with a confidence that they’ll be sure to notice.
5. Vette the Wingman
Some say the world’s best wingmen can actually make you less shy. We’ve heard that their pep-talks are so strong, they’re illegal in 14 countries. While we can neither confirm or deny, a good wingman is undeniably helpful in boosting confidence... and crushing shyness into submission.
A good wingman makes you look good in front of the girl you’re into, but choose the wrong wingman and it can spell disaster. A lot of guys choose their best bud as their wingman, and then they’re surprised when their wingman makes fun of them or brings up embarrassing stories, and shatters their confidence when it’s needed most.
4. Tap In
Maybe very surprisingly, local breweries are ideal locations for squashing shyness. But not for the reasons you might think... Sure there’s beer, but as is tradition, the brewery, bar, pub, or whatever you call it, are regular meeting places for all kinds of groups.
And these days, you can find ‘em hosting a ton of meetups for pre and post physical activity. Running, rock climbing, biking, laser tag, powerlifting. If it involves using your body, there’s probably a beer meetup going on at a brewery for it.
Not only has study after study shown that physical activity boosts self-esteem and makes people feel good, but it’s also a great way to stop being shy around girls and meet women in fun, low pressure settings.
3. The Quiet Cure
In the same way that being like Mike boosts your confidence, changing your body language not only makes you look more confident to girls, it will actually make you feel less shy.
Good posture builds confidence from the outside in, so while you might start out just copying confident body language, soon you’ll find that your confidence really is a part of you.
And you won’t be the only one who notices... Confident body language gets women's attention and piques their interest, and nothing helps cure shyness like catching glances from the ladies.
We’ve done a ton on body language. For more body language tips to help you look the part, check out this video: 10 Confident Body Language Tricks EVERY Guy Should Do TODAY (Proven Techniques)
2. Keep Perspective
In case you haven’t realized it by now… the difference between confidence and shyness is mostly mental... and the biggest mental hurdle shy guys need to jump is realizing that there’s no real reason for their shyness.
If you can remember that the girl you have a crush on is a regular human being just like you, then the feelings of shyness and intimidation will start to dissolve on their own.
It’s the wisdom behind picturing people in their underwear during a speech or a presentation and it helps you to realize that the only thing holding you back is yourself. So keep your perspective and remember that while she might be special, she’s not too special to talk to.
1. Commit Yourself
So now that we’ve gotten to the root of your shyness and developed techniques to build genuine confidence... The last thing you need to do is face your fear and start meeting girls.
Wait... If you have confidence, shouldn’t that mean you have no fears left to face? Wrong. Confidence isn’t the absence of fear... it’s the willingness to act even when you are afraid.
So don’t worry if you still feel some butterflies around your crush. As soon as you say something, and start using that brain of yours that got you this far, you’ll committed to conversation and most of your shyness problems, will take care of themselves.
The Number 1 Thing That Undermines Your Confidence
As promised: Here is the #1 thing guys do that undoes all their efforts at conquering shyness... and makes them look less confident to the women they want to approach. We call it “The Chihuahua.” Everybody knows chihuahuas. They’re notorious for making lots noise but actually being terrified. Sound familiar?
Guys who rev their engines at girls walking along the street or call out to women they see across the room are making a lot of noise... But they’re revealing that deep down, they’re actually terrified.
Sure sometimes you’ve got to fake it till you make it, but The Chihuahua never really makes it, and it’s obvious how fake that confidence is. Instead, focus on developing real confidence. Not only can girls tell the difference, but your self-esteem will go through the roof.
Those are the 10 powerful ways on how to stop being shy around a girl and the number 1 thing that shatters your confidence.
Be sure to check out some of our other videos and hit up the code below for an awesome discounted watch from Vincero.