Women are confusing creatures. We know.
The list of what women find attractive in men, and what women don't find attractive, is long and at times, contradictory.
You might think that figuring them out is impossible...
...and while there isn't a secret recipe for understanding every woman, there are a few things that almost all women are drawn to.
To break the code, and teach you how to attract women, I'm going to tell you 7 things that women find highly attractive in men and why they do.
How to Attract Women: 7 Things Women Find Highly Attractive in a Man
Here are 7 things that women find attractive and love in no particular order.
7. Leadership and Initiative
I polled a good handful of my closest girl friends to get their input about what they find attractive...
...and leadership and initiative was the first quality that the majority of them named.
Women look for a guy who will go after what he wants (this will come back into play with quality #5) but is also humble and can admit when he makes a mistake.
Guys who lead the way and have a plan make women feel cared for and protected.
Women also love men who are self-starters; who make a name for themselves or are changing something in the world because of a dream they have.
One of the most attractive things a man can have is the ability to follow through on what he says he'll do.
This is especially important when it comes to making plans with a woman.
If a man says he'll call, and he doesn't...
...he's losing points with that woman already... Even if he "forgot."
Nothing is more unattractive than a man who is all talk, no action. Your words hold value to women so it's important to not say things if you have no intention of backing them up.
6. A Sense of Humor
Have you ever seen a comedian's wife?
She's usually a babe, right? Guys like Will Ferrell.. Jack Black... Jason Sudeikis... they all have absolutely stunning wives.
I bet these guys have fantastic personalities and are all-around nice guys...
...but I also bet a big reason these ladies were originally drawn to these men was because of their sense of humor.
Knowing how to attract women is as simple as being able to make her laugh.
We're all born with different senses of humor and with different things that we find funny. You aren't always going to make every woman in the room laugh... and that's okay!
There will be a woman out there whose sense of humor you will connect with yours, so don't be afraid to show your sense of humor
Oh, and as a bonus tip:
Don't take yourself so seriously. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
If you spill ketchup on your shirt, make a little joke about it, laugh at yourself and soon she'll be giggling too.
5. Passion and Ambition
A man with a passion for life and a drive to pursue his dreams is extremely attractive to us, women.
You might think women find men in bands attractive because of the "bad boy" persona, but in reality, it's about their passion for music and their ambition to achieve their goals.
We like men who are athletes or hard-working businessmen for the same reason:
Passion and ambition are instant turn-on's.
You don't need to be a famous rock god or a multi-million-dollar lawyer to attract women, either. Choose a hobby, career, or dream that gets you excited and pursue it.
Even if you're a beginner or are just entering a new career field, the passion you have for that thing will shine through and instantly attract women.
Think about it:
As a man, don't you like a woman who has interests she's passionate about and goals she's working towards?
Of course, you do!
It's the same for us, women.
Seeing a man who's pursuing his dreams wholeheartedly allows us to see just how wholeheartedly he would pursue other things - like a girl he's interested in, for example.
Be passionate about what you do
4. A Sense of Style
First impressions are everything and one of the things women find attractive is a man who can dress well.
Being well-dressed and well-groomed isn't just about looking your best:
It's about feeling your best, too.
To women, a man who is well-groomed and well-dressed takes pride in his appearance and takes himself seriously.
You don't have to have a particular style (like outdoorsy or urban) to attract women. You don't even have to change a ton about your own style.
You just need to look clean and comfortable.
I love a man with good shoes, a plaid or flannel button-down, and a good-fitting pair of dark wash jeans.
My best friend prefers a more hipster look, with her man in tight skinny jeans and his shirt buttoned all the way to the top.
There really is someone for everyone, and a sense of style isn't about adopting a particular style of dress...
...it's more about taking the time to look good and feel good about what you are wearing.
Don't wear anything that has a ridiculous catchphrase on it.
Five years ago your frat brother thought your "Female Body Inspector" t-shirt was hilarious.
But believe me, women aren't amused by it. In fact, we generally roll our eyes at "that guy".
Oh, and bad body odor is a huge turn-off!
Have your own sense of style
This is a tricky one.
There's a very fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Confidence is one of the top things women find attractive in men, but arrogance is one of the biggest turnoffs.
To come across confident, don't be afraid to share your accomplishments, but stop just short of bragging.
Men who're confident are more than happy to tell a woman about their recent promotion, but will quickly change the topic to ask their lady a question.
This shows us that you aren't just interested in talking about yourself all night but you are confident in knowing who you are.
A man who's confident is sexy to women. A man who can't shut up about his high school track record, on the other hand, is not.
Be confident, not arrogant
2. Good Listening Skills
Being a good listener is a big deal to women because they want to feel heard, valued and respected.
A man who doesn't have good listening skills can come off as cold, disrespectful and uncaring.
Ask questions about what she's saying. Not only does asking questions show that you're actively listening, but it allows your brain to better store the information she's sharing.
Storing that information, and bringing it back up later, is also an instant way to up your attractiveness to a woman you're interested in.
I knew my boyfriend was a keeper when he would ask me questions about specific students I was teaching that I had told him stories about.
Not only did he remember the names of the students, but he began remembering their personalities as well.
It was a signal that he valued what I was saying and what I did for a living just as much as he valued me.
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason
1. Kindness and Empathy
Do you know what serves as a great bait for women?
A man with a dog is instantly more attractive to women. Women are attracted to a man with a pet because it shows that he's kind and empathetic to the needs of another living creature.
If you can take care of a dog, the odds significantly increase that you can take care of her. That might sound crazy, but it is something women subconsciously take note of.
Having a pet also shows a serious level of commitment and responsibility to a potential girlfriend.
So, what happens if you aren't a pet guy?
Don't sweat it - this isn't a deal-breaker! What women are really looking for is a guy who's kind and compassionate, which can be shown in numerous ways.
I love a man who holds doors for people (both women and men). To me, it's a sign that he's thinking about the needs of others, and that's an attractive trait.
Women pay attention to how men treat two sets of people:
- Their mothers
If a man is disrespectful to either one of these sets of people, it's an immediate turn-off.
Yes, women might be confusing to men...
But when you begin to understand what women find attractive in men - you'll know exactly how to attract them
I've shed some light on what ladies find most attractive in the men they meet, so next time you're out on the town trying to find a suitable girl, remember:
-Show your sense of humor
-Share your passions
If you're conscious of these 7 things, you'll have no trouble finding a great girl to spend time with.
Comment below if you have any questions or need advice on a specific situation!