Almost every guy has been there:
You start a date (with your wife, girlfriend, or someone new), and everything seems to be going well. But somehow by the end, she seems… uninterested.
…Or maybe you even finish the date thinking it went perfectly, but she doesn’t answer your calls/texts again (if you were with someone new) or, when you get home, she seems distant, even angry (if you were with your girlfriend/wife).
And that’s when you start thinking:
“What the hell happened? I looked good, I picked a great place for dinner, the conversation was great… did I somehow turn her off?!”
Unfortunately guys, the answer is probably yes… and here’s why:
There are a handful of specific things that most men unknowingly do, that women hate and that instantly turn them off.
…And I’m going to strongly assume that you don’t want your woman to be turned off, right?
So… to help you avoid this, I’m going to give you an inside look into the female mind and show you 7 things that women hate, that instantly turn them off, and that you never want to do.
7 Surprising Things that Turn Women Off
Guys… here’s the thing:
Most women won’t openly tell you that you’re turning them off… but if you are doing any one of these 7 things (on your first date or with your lifetime partner), your girl desperately wants you to stop:
Let me ask you a question:
Would you want to get into a girl’s bed if you saw that her sheets were worn, holey, and seemingly dirty?
Of course not, and guys… neither does she. She doesn’t want the sheets of a sloppy teenager… she wants to see the sheets of a grown man.
…So instead of turning her off with your sheets, make your bed something she’s excited to get into by getting the sheets she wants:
Rule #1: Get sheets with an adult style. Adult style means sheets with neutral colors (like these) and/or subtle pattern (like these), and not crazy prints or black (black makes it impossible to see stains… and makes her think you’re hiding them).
Rule #2: Incredible comfort. She wants soft, cool sheets. Under the covers with you can get pretty warm, so get mostly cotton sheets to keep her cool.
Rule #3: Clean freshness. You’ve got adult sheets now, so you better keep them clean and fresh-smelling (her nose is more powerful than yours source so even if you think your sheets smell good, wash them just to be safe).
If your sheets follow these 3 rules, not only will your sheets not turn her off, but you’ll also have a bed that she’ll look forward to jumping into.
Note from the Editor, Kyle:
What sheets do I recommend?
They’re by far the most comfortable sheets (rule #2) I’ve ever owned (they’re made with a special long-staple cotton/percale weave to make them light, breathable, and, above all, ridiculously comfortable). And maybe even better, their sheets have the classically manly/adult style you need (rule #1), without being boring or bland (my new sheets (here’s the ones I got) have turned my bed into the best looking part of my bedroom).
And after trying their crazy comfortable sheets, we decided to partner with Brooklinen to get you guys a big (but limited-time) discount with code ‘Mantelligence’. I’m not sure how long this deal will last… so upgrade your bedding with this big discount while you still can.
Guys… I want to be very clear here:
‘Being cheap’ is not the same as ‘saving money’. Women completely understand if you can’t do fancy dinners/dates more than a couple times a year (and chances are she’ll love any good free dates you take her on).
But on the other hand… being ‘cheap’ is being overly and unnecessarily concerned with money, and letting your date know about it.
Here are some real-life examples of what a ‘cheap’ guy will do:
#1: Order the cheapest thing on the menu, and make a joke if his date orders something more expensive. Even if you’re kidding, this makes her feel hugely unappreciated.
#2: Ask to split the bill, when he’s the one who asked her out. Look, ‘don’t go Dutch’ is a core rule of manliness… if you ask her out, you pay. It’s just polite.
#3: Bring a bottle of wine to a party, and take the leftover wine home. I’m not even going to explain this one…
With these, the difference between ‘being cheap’ and ‘saving money’ makes sense, right? Here’s the bottom line:
It’s perfectly ok to be frugal, but (until you’re a serious couple) don’t mention money problems, complain about how much things cost, or ask your date to pay for things.
When you go on a date, you wouldn’t wear a t-shirt that was baggy, holey, or stained… or shoes with your toes poking out of the front, would you?
Of course not… so why would you continue to wear a belt that’s stretched, scored, marked, or otherwise sloppy?
And I know you’re probably thinking, ‘how do women even notice this?‘
Well, to a lot of guys, the only purpose of their belt is to hold their pants up… but to us, it’s one of the two accessories that every guy should be wearing (belt + watch). So… not only do we look for it, but if one of two (or half) of your accessories look bad, you look bad.
And really, think about it:
Can you imagine James Bond walking up to a beautiful woman wearing the belt above? What about our president wearing it as he meets with the world’s leaders?
Both are almost painful to imagine, right? Guys… here’s the bottom line:
You have two chances to impress us with your accessories… don’t throw one away by wearing an old tattered belt.
A Note from the Editor, Kyle:
It seems like all belts inevitably end up like the one above, right? So how can you stop your belts from becoming a worn-down mess?
Modernize your belt with the holeless belt from Anson Belt & Buckle. Instead of a traditional belt’s 5 holes (set 1 inch apart)… Anson’s holeless belt has 30+ options (spaced 1/4 inch apart). In other words: it has 6x the hole options and has them 4x more frequently than a traditional belt. Here’s what it looks like (back and front):
These ‘microadjustments’ are a small but powerful advancement. With them, your belt is dramatically more comfortable (as your belt uniquely fits your waist), your belt won’t become a cracked, disheveled mess (there’s no holes to become cracked/disheveled), and your belt will always fit you perfectly (even as your waist grows and shrinks).
Last February I met Frank and David (the father-son team who runs Anson), and the two hooked me up with a few of their holeless belts to try. After having it on for 5 minutes, I asked myself, ‘this is so much better… how did I ever wear any other type of belt?’
Guys… if you want a better belt, I highly recommend you give Anson’s holeless belt a try (and ps: they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee… so why wouldn’t you try it?)
4. Having A Bad (Or Overpowering) Scent
In a recent survey of almost 900 women, 87% said that they’re completely turned off by a date with bad BO. source
Now… I know what you’re probably thinking:
“There’s no way I’m that guy. I shower, brush my teeth, and even spray cologne before I go on a date. I can skip this step.”
But here’s the big thing most men don’t realize:
Your girl’s sense of smell is way more powerful than your own. source And studies even show that when men think they’ve covered up a bad odor (with extra cologne or deodorant)… she can often still smell it. source
In other words:
Her powerful nose picks up nuances of scent that you can’t even detect… and when it does, her only thought is “I don’t want to touch this guy!”
But don’t freak out:
Smelling good enough for her powerful nose is actually incredibly easy… and here are some of the easiest, girl-approved ways to do it:
Step #1: Use antiperspirant, instead of just deodorant. Deodorant only attempts to block bad odors… while antiperspirant stops the sweating altogether.
Step #2: Brush your teeth well every day, instead of just intensely brushing right before a date. Bad breath germs can live in your mouth/throat and can even grow source… so wipe them out regularly by brushing on a schedule.
Step #3: Choose the right cologne (and use a max of two sprays). Some cologne types are more powerful than others, so get one that’s long-lasting, and tone down the amount of sprays (one spray on both your chest and neck are ideal).
While that might seem like overkill… remember that not only is her nose more powerful than yours, but also, almost 9/10 women will be completely turned off if you have bad BO.
3. Accidentally Making Yourself the Focus of the Date
A lot of guys don’t realize that they’re accidentally being too focused on themselves on a date.
And really… it’s pretty easy to do:
You might be nervous… you may be worried there will be an awkward silence… you may just be distracted by work or a game… but no matter the reason, focusing on yourself is a huge turn-off.
So on any date (your 1st or 100th date)… consciously focus on her. Learn about her life, ask about her day/work/passion, be proud if she accomplished something and/or console her when she’s sad.
To us, that’s one of the biggest ways a man can be a gentleman… and it’s a huge turn-on.
Un-stylish shoes are the one thing that almost every woman brings up in conversations about their biggest turn-offs.
But… why do they care so much?
Well, the exact reasons vary from girl to girl, but there are generally two main reasons:
- She knows almost any well-fitted shirt/pants will look good on a fit man, but that you actually have to have a sense of style to know what shoes look good (basically, you can’t skate on good looks with shoes).
- Your shoes are one of the final touches you put on your outfit. And if you care enough about the final touches like your shoes and your belt (#5 above), it means you’re a man who cares enough to pay attention to detail.
Now… what kind of shoes do women want you to wear on dates?
Honestly, as long as they’re not flip-flops, sandals or gym shoes, they can be any shoes in good condition (as you can probably guess, ratty shoes are just as bad as ratty belts).
1. Being ‘Too Open’ (About Money, About Your Past, About Your Family Troubles)
Guys, read this one carefully, because it’s tricky:
There’s a distinct line (a timeline, actually) between being expressive (what girls want) and being too informative (what they don’t want). Being expressive means telling her that you like her, being honest when something’s bothering you, etc.
…but being too informative means talking about things that are way too personal/serious too soon (when she’s not ready to hear them… like the first few dates).
Make sense? Here’s a general timeline of when to open up about certain topics:
Your family troubles: After she’s met the family. Don’t overwhelm her with your family’s issues, then make her meet them and have to pretend she doesn’t know anything.
Money problems: When you move in together. Until then, it’s not her problem. You can tell her ‘I’m broke this week’, but don’t put the weight of that problem on her.
Ex-girlfriends: Only once she asks! If she doesn’t ask, she probably doesn’t want to know.
Guys… you obviously don’t want your woman to be turned off.
…And while this list doesn’t have all the things that turn women off, these 7 are some of the bigger ones… avoid them and you’ll avoid 7 of the things that they hate the most, and that instantly turn the majority of women off.