Congratulations! You worked up the courage to ask that gorgeous girl out, and now you’re going on a first date.
I’m going to assume you really like this girl, and want to keep her around.
…Basically, I assume that you’d like this to be more than just a first date.
So to help you turn this first date into a second, I’m going to give you 11 easy-to-follow first date tips. Use them to hold her interest, not turn her off, and make her really want to see you again.
11 First Date Tips and Advice to Land You a Second Date
I’ve been on a fair share of first dates. Some were great, some were ok, and some were… well, just awful.
Tip #1: Be normal
I get it:
This tip sounds a little vague (and maybe even confusing). So let me explain:
“Be normal” just means don’t be weird… in ways like this:
- Taking her to some harsh noise concert where the lead singer ends up shirtless at the end (too bizarre!)
- Asking her what she wants to name her children someday (too serious!)
- Bringing a magic set to the date and surprising her with an illusion (too out-of-place!)
- Asking her detailed questions about her history with men (too creepy!)
Just be a normal, considerate, cordial human being.
…So, that weird thing you do with only your guy friends around? Hold off on that for a while. Sure, you hope that at some point she’ll think it’s cute or hilarious, but this is the first date… meaning it’s not the time to show off how you’re double-jointed or how you can burp the alphabet.
Be normal (and not like this guy)
Tip #2: Show up on time
This might seem like common knowledge (and it should be a very common practice)… but I’ve seen a date show up late way too many times.
When you arrive late, you subtly communicate that she wasn’t enough of a priority to plan your day well, and show up on time.
…And that’s the last impression you want to make on a girl you’re trying to win over. Right?
Girls know that unforeseen/unpreventable circumstances happen, and she’ll completely understand if it happens to you. So if something happens, and you’re forced to run late, call (don’t text) her and explain the situation. She’ll think of you as a gentleman who keeps in touch, not a jerk who blows her off.
Don’t make her wait
Tip #3: Dress well… And Take Pride in Your Appearance
If this girl’s agreed to go on a date with you, she’s going to look her best. How do I know?
Because she wants you to know that she’s proud of her appearance, and wants you to realize that she’s a catch. So… why wouldn’t you do the same, and dress your best, too?
You don’t have to spend an hour getting ready, but like I mentioned above, you should communicate to this girl that she’s worth some time and effort (above, to plan to arrive on time… here, to look your best).
So shower, clean up your beard, brush your teeth, and wear what makes you look and feel great:
- Jeans, a fitted t shirt, and oxford shoes
- Cotton-blend pants and a button-up shirt
- A sport coat over a thin sweater and jeans
And PS: all of these outfit ideas were taken directly from our Essential Wardrobe article. Click the link for everything a girl loves to see you wear!
Dress the part
Tip #4. Have a well-designed date
While deciding what to do on a first date can seem daunting, planning a well-designed date is actually pretty easy.
We have a thorough post with great advice on date-planning that you can check out here… but in short, there are two components of a good date:
1. A Meal
You’re not required to take her to a fancy, expensive restaurant and honestly… smaller, local restaurants are the best.
They tend to be less crowded, quieter, and more romantic… providing a better opportunity for the two of you to talk.
2. An Activity
Why should you take her to do an activity?
Well, since you’re actively doing something together, it takes the focus off coming up with conversation (which on a first date can be tough/awkward). Instead, you can both talk in a more relaxed (and fun) environment.
Need help coming up with dates? Check out our post 101 fun things to do with her for great girl-approved ideas.
Plan it out
Tip #5. …And only barely let her in on the plan
Like I mentioned above, for the first date, don’t go with the flow. Have a plan.
Now… with that:
Women do love surprises, so let her know you have a plan without actually telling her what it is. Give her bits and pieces of information… especially information for how she should dress (to avoid her wearing high heels to go golfing, or jeans to a 5-star restaurant). Tell her:
If you’re going to a restaurant with a dress code: “We’re going somewhere for dinner that I think you’ll love… so don’t be afraid to dress up.”
If you’re going on a long walk: “We’ll be doing something really fun after we eat… so wear comfortable shoes.”
If you’re planning a hike: “Don’t worry about dressing up… you’ll need to be comfortable where we’re going.”
Leave her some surprises
Tip #6. Compliment her
Openly complimenting her might feel risky… but this is one of the most valuable first date tips I can give you.
Just like men want to know what women are thinking, women want to know what men are thinking, especially if it’s something nice about us! All too often, men keep their romantic thoughts to themselves because they’re afraid to say them.
…But I can promise, any girl who likes you wants to hear those compliments (how nice she looks, how fun she is, or that you like her).
So man up, don’t be afraid, and give her that nice compliment.
Now… you can take complimenting too far:
If you’re already thinking about marrying this woman, or taking her to meet your parents, keep those super-serious thoughts to yourself. Remember tip #1? Be complimentary (and normal), not overzealous.
Make her smile… tell her the nice thing that just passed through your head
Tip #7. Hold a conversation (don’t just talk about yourself)
One of the most annoying dates I’ve ever been on was with a guy who seemed really great. He was a genuinely nice person. He was handsome. He was a gentleman, and paid for my meal.
But there was one thing that kept that date from going on to a second one:
He talked about himself the entire time. He didn’t bother asking me any questions about myself. Instead, I listened to his long and obsessive list of sports he liked, and how his current teams were doing. It drove me insane… and was a huge turn off!
So here’s the tip:
Go into the night with the goal of getting to know your date. Ask her questions about herself. Listen to her answers. Ask follow-up questions. She’ll start to be equally curious about you in return!
It’s not all about you… have a conversation
Tip #8. Prepare your first date questions and conversation starters
Both men and women have a fear of too much silence on the first date.
Now… planning an activity (like in tip #4) to bond over helps prevent the silence…
…but during dinner, what do you talk about?
Well, one of the best places to start is with questions about her (see tip #7 above). Here are some great, fun first date questions that can help you get the ball rolling:
- If you had an entire day off work to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?
- What’s a show on Netflix that you’ve binge-watched?
- What do you like about your job? Do you think you’ll do this job for a while? And if not, what would be your dream job? Why?
- Where was the last place you traveled to? Where is your favorite place you’ve ever been? Why?
- “Why?” is always a good question. Girls want to know that you want to understand their thoughts!
Even though you may not need them… plan out a few conversation starters
Tip #9. Know if you should go for the first date kiss
So… your date has gone amazingly.
You’ve completely hit it off and you’re ready to seal the deal and land a first date kiss. You should go for it… right?
Well… I actually recommend you don’t. Here’s why:
So many guys are quick to jump the gun on having a first kiss… but not kissing her on the first date actually makes you memorable… and makes her crave a kiss even more. So instead of kissing, touch her arm lightly. Put your arm around her. Hug her.
…And as you say goodnight give her a long kiss on the cheek. Tell her you had a fantastic night, that you’ll call her soon… and walk away.
She’ll be even more ready for a kiss on your second date.
PS. If she’s clearly sending you signals that she really wants you to kiss her, don’t feel like you can’t. The above tip is great, but is by no means required.
Go for the first kiss?
Tip #10. Land a second date
After you have a great date, don’t forget to call her the next day, and schedule another date.
I know you might have heard the archaic “3-day” rule (wait three days after a date to call her), but that rule is absolutely ridiculous.
She doesn’t want to wait around for three whole days to hear that you like her enough to go out again… and if she’s as great as you think, she can easily find another guy in 3 days who will treat her that way.
So… wait until the next day… then call her.
You can schedule your second date for later that week… or even next week. The key is to lock down that second date as soon as you can.
And after you nail the first date, check out this post for some great second date ideas.
The two of you hit it off… now land the second date
Tip #11. Keep in touch
You did it… you used my 11 first date tips and you nailed your first date!
Over these next few weeks, one of the most important things you can do is to keep your communication with her open.
You shouldn’t bombard her with texts or calls… but do keep in touch. Why?
Because during this first stage of dating, women tend to over analyze things. They don’t know what you’re thinking/feeling, so barely keeping in touch, like one text or call a week, is just confusing (she’ll think if you were really interested, you’d text often).
…So try to call or text her once every few days, to assure her that you intend to keep dating her. Need help knowing what to say? Check out our extensive research into how to text a girl.
Keep it touch
Here’s the bottom line:
Don’t let your first date stress you out… with these 11 first date tips, I’m confident that you’ll sweep any woman off her feet.