MNTL Team | May 16, 2019 | 0
198 Good Get to Know You Questions – Highly effective questions to ask.
Good get to know you questions are unbelievably helpful when starting a new relationship from scratch… because as we all know:
Whether you’re hanging out with a crush one-on-one for the first time, grabbing a drink with a new friend, or passing the time during a shift with a new co-worker, preparing some talking points is a solid move. That’s where we come in.
These getting to know you questions help you break the silence. Some are fun and lighthearted, and others are deep and poignant. This massive list of get to know you questions can be used to break the ice and form a lasting bond.
198 Great Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone
To make this resource even better/easier for you to use… I broke down the questions to ask into a few different sections (from the best questions to use early in a conversation, to deeper questions that are better towards the end).
I recommend looking through each section, but if you want to jump to one in particular, you can use the links below:
These conversation starters are perfect when you’re starting at square one.
They’re not too heavy or hilarious. They’re smooth and easy, perfect when you don’t know the other person that well. These are conversation starters, not introductions. Start by introducing yourself and having some small talk. Then, use these to spark a discussion.
Here are 25 getting to know you conversation starters:
1. If you could choose to be one character from Harry Potter, who would you be?
Are you more of the Harry or Lord Voldemort type?
2. If your entire life was a movie, what title would best fit?
This question lets you flex your creativity muscles, and it’s sure to bring some laughs.
3. Would you rather have a photographic memory or gain an extra 40 IQ points?
Would you prefer your mind to be a steel trap or a problem-solving machine?
4. Would you rather never have internet access again or never be able to take an airplane again?
Both expand your horizons. Do you prefer to explore the world digitally or in person?
5. Would you rather be an amazing dancer or be great at math?
This question seems silly, but it shines some light into what’s important to the other person.
6. What’s Your Favorite Holiday and Why?
This question reveals a lot about their culture, beliefs and family ties.
7. What’s your fondest childhood memory?
Questions about childhood memories always bring us closer and bring about a relaxed but personal conversation.
8. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
Music is something to share and enjoy together. Talk about that transcendent sonic experience you once had.
9. What’s your favorite comedy movie?
This is a great question on a first date as it will tell if you and your date have a similar sense of humor.
10. What are your three favorite albums? Why?
Music is a window to a person’s soul. Knowing what types of music people like will give you a great peek into who they really are.
11. Would you rather explore a new planet, or the deepest parts of the ocean? Why?
Some of the greatest undiscovered mysteries are here on Earth, but nobody knows what deep space holds.
12. If it were possible to colonize Mars in our lifetime, would you go? Why or why not?
Here’s another question that gauges a person’s adventurousness. Their eagerness (or lack thereof) to leave behind everything they know could be telling.
13. If you could play one instrument you aren’t able to now, what would it be and why?
Music is always one of the best conversation starters. Talking about playing an instrument often leads to conversations about your favorite songs, concerts, and musicians.
14. If it were possible, would you own a pet dinosaur? If so, which one and why?
You can simultaneously get a feel for someone’s creativity, their knowledge of science, their adventurousness, and their practicality in just one simple and seemingly random question.
15. Which historical figure would you most like to be?
Your idols say a lot about you. This question helps you to understand what type of person they strive to be.
16. What’s your favorite season?
Just like there are cat and dog people, there are spring, summer, fall, and winter people.
17. What’s your favorite sports team?
It’s a timeless question that opens up plenty of room for conversation about past or current sports events.
18. If you could go back to school, would you choose the same major?
This question helps you to understand if they’re happy with their current course or not. Passions change and so do people.
19. Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child?
Nostalgia is a great way to connect, especially with someone roughly your own age.
20. What is the fanciest restaurant you’ve eaten at?
And what did you eat? The fastest way to get to know someone is through their stomach!
21. If you had to read an entire encyclopedia, which letter would you choose?
Would you go with X to get it over with as quickly as possible?
22. What was your favorite subject in school?
This is a straightforward question that can help you to understand why they do what they do now.
23. Which famous person would you like to best friends with?
The people you surround yourself with say a lot about you – even in a hypothetical scenario.
24. Would you rather be a famous rock singer or the next Einstein/Tesla?
What’s more important to you – immediate fame and glory or the pursuit of knowledge and the progression of society?
25. Which one of your friends would make the best U.S. president and why?
The answer to this question will tell you which friends a person admires the most (and usually which they admire the least).
Quite simply, these are some of our favorites. If you’re just scanning your phone for a quick question to ask, try these on for size.
10 Good Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone FAST!
Watch this video on YouTube.
Here are 28 best get to know you questions:
26. If you could live in a book, TV show, or movie, what would it be?
This simple question will tell you a lot about a person. What genre did they choose? Romance? Sci-fi? Drama?
27. If you could bring one musician back from the dead, who would it be and why?
The type of music a person listens to can tell you a lot about them. With this question, you’ll learn about their musical tastes and idols.
28. If you had to choose to live without one of your five senses, which one would you give up?
Which of the five senses could they live without?
29. What animal best represents you and why?
Boiling down one’s essence into a specific animal is a great way to understand how people see themselves. Bold like a lion? Loyal like a dog?
30. What would you do if you were the president of your own country?
Note: If you don’t like talking about politics, avoid this question!
31. If you could take only three items with you to a deserted island, what would they be?
What matters most to a person? Are the items they choose based on survival? Are they personal/sentimental? Both? What would you bring?
32. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?
Common answers include flight, laser-beam eyes, x-ray vision, invisibility, and the power to freeze time. One superpower… so many choices.
33. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?
Do they like the way things were? Do they want something new? This great conversation starter has the potential to stir up plenty of laughs or a serious discussion, depending who you ask.
34. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
This is a fun question to ask and will introduce you to a person’s wilder side. It also gives them a chance to brag about their adventures (or misadventures) a bit.
35. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?
This classic question gets people to open up and talk about someone they admire, someone they miss, or someone they’re curious about.
36. If your house was burning and you could only save one item, what would it be and why?
Indirectly, this question asks what’s generally most important to them. The possession that they choose will reveal what they care most about.
37. What is “home” to you?
Home isn’t always where the heart is. If you asked 100 people this question, you will see a wide range of answers from, “a place to lie down at night,” to “anywhere family is.”
38. How do you define love?
Love is one of those intangible concepts that everyone experiences in their own unique way.
39. If you could have the answer to any question, what would that question be?
This is the one of the best questions to ask to get to know someone since it helps them open up. It provides insight into the biggest unanswered question they have about their past, present, or future.
40. What are you most grateful for?
Their answer will tell you exactly what’s most important to them.
41. Why did you choose your profession?
A good follow up to this question is to ask whether they would quit their job and change their profession if they had the chance.
42. How would your best friends describe you?
Your friends are a barometer for truth. They’ll be brutally honest about you, and you know it.
43. If you could change one law, what would it be?
Stan Lee said: “With great power comes great responsibility.” How would you make a difference in the world? This thought-provoking question always produces a list of surprising answers.
44. If you could master one skill you don’t have right now, what would it be?
Knowledge is power. This is a really good get to know you question, as your friends’ hobbies, their dreams, and hugely influential in who they are.
45. If you could speak another language, which would it be and why?
This simple question opens up discussions about traveling abroad, common interests, world cuisine, and trips around the globe.
46. Would you rather be a Jack of many trades or a master of one?
Find out the difference between a person’s hobbies and their passions.
47. If you could change one event from history, what would it be?
Questions that give you the theoretical power to alter reality are a great way to find out what a person values on a more fundamental level.
48. If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be and why?
This is similar to #72 but adds a fun twist: If you could bring any fictional character into YOUR world, who would it be?
49. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?
By asking them to choose between the city and the woods, you’re forcing them to decide between two stark opposites: the hustle and bustle of the city or calm and tranquility of the woods.
50. What teacher inspired you the most? How?
We all remember that special teacher that either pushed us harder than the rest, or inspired us through their support and kindness.
The “how did they” part of the question will help you to understand how the person is best motivated to succeed (by pushing them or through support).
51. If you were head of a major TV station for one day, what would you play?
Apparently, you are what you watch. Your TV watching habits reveal a bit about your type of humor, your penchant for action, your attention to detail, or your lack thereof.
52. If you had to teach a subject, what would it be?
You can expand on this question by asking about specific crafts and skills they might want to teach.
53. What words of wisdom would you pass on to your childhood self?
With age comes wisdom. This question can reveal a great deal about a person like:
- Their most valuable life lessons
- Their biggest regrets
- The career path they wish they would have taken
- Opportunities that they’ve missed
Whether you’re hanging with a guy or a girl, humor is powerful. Guys bond over wisecracks and jokes, and girls are charmed by goofy puns and warm smiles.
Many people value a strong sense of humor more than virtually every other quality. After all, if someone can make you laugh, you’re going to want to be around them more often. Humor makes you attractive.
Use these funny getting to know you questions to get the other person smiling. Don’t be afraid to get a little silly and let your natural sense of humor come out. Laughter leads to real, meaningful connections.
Here are 15 best funny questions to ask to get to know someone:
54. If you could ask the President one question, what would it be?
This question can go either way – serious or funny.
55. What single message would you send to an advanced alien species?
Would they send a message of peace? Would they ask to be “beamed up”?
56. How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?
This question will get you some fun responses, but it will also tell you how prepared they are for a real-life disaster like hurricanes and fires.
57. If you were on death row, what would your final meal be?
Variety is the spice of life, but when it comes down to it, we all have that one dish that’s irreplaceable in our hearts.
58. If you could abolish one piece of modern technology, what would it be and why?
If they respond with “cell phone,” then you know that when talking to them, you should turn your Facebook notifications off and pay attention!
59. If you could live in any TV home, which would it be?
Are you a Full House type of person? Or maybe you’d rather be the Fresh Prince living in a Bel Air mansion?
60. Would you want the ability to hear the thoughts of people near you, even if you couldn’t turn the ability off?
You would wield a mighty power, but at what cost? Your sanity?
61. What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?
This question can definitely lead to some off-the-rails answers that will have both of you cracking up.
62. What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?
Would you like to cuddle with a giraffe? Maybe pet your lap elephant?
63. If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator?
Would you prefer the soothing cadence of Sir David Attenborough? Or would you prefer the hilarious Arrested Development-style narration of Ron Howard?
64. Would you rather be stuck on a broken ski lift or in a broken elevator?
It’s a lose-lose question. Hash out the cons and worse-cons of both situations.
65. Would you rather never be able to eat warm food or never be able to eat cold food?
Would you prefer ice cream soup or steaksicles?
66. Would you rather be able to breath underwater or fly through the air?
Soar amongst the birds or swim with the fish? Which one is your happy place?
67. What fad do you wish would come back? Which do you feel should stay gone forever?
68. If you were a vegetable, which vegetable would you be?
Cool as a cucumber? Or are you more of a pea-brain?
If you’re pursuing a romantic interest, make sure you pay close attention to her answers. Some of them can provide valuable insight into her interests, hobbies, and personality.
Here are 18 best questions to get to know a girl:
69. Which 1900’s era would you travel back to? Why?
Each of the 1900’s eras had its own unique flavor. Asking someone this question sparks a fun conversation about the ideals and aspects that they loved about the era.
70. Which are you more likely to fight for, love or money? Why?
This is a lighthearted, fun question that will help you see what a person truly values.
71. Red or white wine?
Take note. If you order the wrong one, you’re going to have some explaining to do.
72. What would be your “perfect” day?
Some have already lived their perfect day, and would love to recreate it. Others will take parts of their best days and patchwork them into one into one “perfect” day.
73. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
This question will tell you where someone thinks they would be the happiest.
74. What’s your favorite book you’ve ever read?
If you’ve read it, the conversation doors are open wide. If not, put it on your reading list.
75. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?
This question can bring up positive or negative memories. Was it an accident or an adventure?
76. What was your first impression of me when we first met?
Be forewarned – she might be brutally honest. First impressions are important, but what she thinks of you now is far more interesting.
77. If you could instantly know one instrument, what would it be?
Would she prefer to tickle the ivories or beat the drums? Remember her answer, and play that type of music next time you hang out.
78. What’s your all-time favorite town or city?
If you’ve been there, you can talk about what makes it such a special place. If not, you can add it to your list of places to bring her.
79. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?
This question can indirectly get you some information on how to improve yourself. Don’t change who you are, but try to incorporate those qualities into your life.
80. Would you rather have a lot of good friends or one absolute best friend?
Which one is more important – popularity or meaningful relationships?
81. Which would you prefer, a movie or a play?
Does she prefer theatre or cinema? Remember her answer, and bring her to one or the other for your next date.
82. Were you the same or different in high school?
Some people change, and some stay the same. What has her life journey been like so far?
83. What is the best/most memorable class you have ever taken?
When was she most inspired? This is another question that can help you to plan future dates.
84. What is your favorite way to spend a night alone?
This question helps you to understand who she is when she’s not with you, her friends, or anyone else.
85. What do you define as a family?
86. What are your biggest long-term goals?
This is a classic question that helps you to know her better, and it also proves that you’re genuinely interested in her beyond superficiality.
These questions can help to give you new perspectives and open up new interests. They can also help you to learn more about yourself.
Here are 18 best questions to ask a guy to get to know him:
87. Would you rather work more hours per day, but fewer days, or work fewer hours per day, but more days?
If he’s the travelling type, he might prefer the days off. If he’s more of a homebody, he might want longer evenings.
88. Who is your personal hero?
We often emulate our heroes and hold their values up as a template for our own.
89. What do you define as “manliness”?
This is a great question to ask your father or son as it will reveal what they think it takes to be a man. For an even more interesting conversation, ask a woman this question.
90. In what ways are you a leader? In what ways are you a follower?
91. What book has influenced you most?
Like music, literature is very personal. Their answer will tell you more about them, and maybe even add a good book to your reading list.
92. What motivates you to succeed?
Knowing what motivates someone to succeed, and to work hard, will tell you what’s important to them. Is it family? Is it security?
PS: If you’re looking for motivation to succeed, check out the motivation section of our steps to success post.
93. If you could fight anyone in history, who would it be?
Did you ever want to punch an unworthy celebrity? What about going toe to toe with a long-dead dictator?
94. Where would you most like to retire?
Some people want to spend their last days on a tropical island, and some prefer the comforts of their home town. Where are you most at peace?
95. If you could be great at one sport which would you choose?
This question is a little different than the classic “what’s your favorite sport?” The sports you watch aren’t necessarily the ones you want to play.
96. What is your ultimate goal in life?
This is a big question, so don’t be surprised when you get big answers.
97. Would you rather become a millionaire by winning the lottery or from your own work?
Does he believe in hard work, perseverance, and admiration, or are his eyes focused on the prize?
98. What’s your favorite part about this city?
This is a great question because it helps you to learn about each other’s interests and hobbies, and it may also give you a heads up on a new place to check out.
99. Wine, whiskey, or beer?
Or all three? What’s his vice of choice? If you’re at a bar, follow this question up with a round.
100. What was your dream job growing up?
We all wanted to be something unique growing up – a doctor, a zookeeper, a pilot, a wrestler, and so on. As adults, do we still have those same dream professions?
101. How would you spend a billion dollars?
This fun question helps to tell you what’s important to them. Would they donate to charity? Blow it all on their friends? Invest in stocks and bonds?
102. If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what problem would you choose?
What’s that one issue that weighs on his mind?
103. What would you like to be the best in the world at doing?
This getting to know you question can really teach you a lot about what he values and what he wants to do with his life.
104. What are your favorite hobbies?
Simple and succinct. If you don’t know your friends’ hobbies, you’re doing something wrong.
Communication is the key to a successful romantic relationship.
Whether you’re one-on-one with your girlfriend, double dating, or third wheeling with another couple, these questions for couples will help you get to know everyone involved a little better.
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you know everything about her. There’s always more to learn. Connect with your romantic partner on a deeper level with these questions.
Here are 24 best get to know you questions for couples:
105. Where do you see yourself in five years?
This is one of the better questions to get to know someone because while it comes off as a simple conversation starter, their answer will often reveal what’s most important to them.
106. What makes you happiest?
This overarching question is ambiguous enough to be a great question to ask on a first date, in a job interview, or at dinner with friends, family, or acquaintances.
107. What makes you cry?
This question will certainly bring the tone of a conversation down a few notches, so reserve it for those you’re close with and use it with caution.
108. What trait do you like the most about yourself?
Learning what she likes about herself helps you to appreciate her more.
109. What is one thing you miss about being a kid?
We all have aspects of our childhoods that we wish we could retain. What are hers?
110. What are some really romantic dates? And some sexy ones?
If you ask this question, you had better make sure you remember her answers and make them happen.
111. Do you ever wish I could read your mind? When?
This question indirectly helps you to pinpoint aspects of your relationship that could be improved upon. Try not to get upset if she brings up times when communication is lacking.
112. What are the things that remind you of me?
113. How can I make you feel more special?
This question alone is 100% guaranteed to make her feel special. Just the fact that you asked means you care.
114. What’s one similarity between us that you absolutely love?
Opposites attract, but so do similarities. What common traits do you share that make her smile?
115. If we had only one weekend together before the end of the world, and we were to spend it together, what do you think we’d do?
This conversation can be hilarious, romantic, sad, or a combination of all three.
116. Would you rather have a small wedding or a large and planned out wedding?
Be careful how you use this question – it can be a loaded one.
117. What are the 3 things that make you go weak in your knees?
In other words, “what are three things that I should start doing on a regular basis?”
118. When we hang out with friends, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
Another question that proves that you care while giving you valuable insight into her needs. Questions like these strengthen the relationship.
119. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?
Where is her tranquility zone? If it’s not local, try to recreate that place for her.
120. What is a tradition you did as a child that you want to do with your kids someday?
Learn about her family and future dreams with one thoughtful question.
121. What class would you love to take together?
If you ask this question, be prepared to take her answer and run with it.
122. What makes you feel young?
What causes those moments when she feels like a child? Try to recreate them for her.
123. What are some small things that make your day better?
This is another question that’s going to require eventual action. Take note, and do them.
124. If you received a salary to follow whatever passion you wanted to, what would you do?
This question really gets down to what her dreams are. Help her to turn those dreams into a reality.
125. What are you most sentimental about?
This question can lead to emotional discussions, so save it for appropriate occasions.
126. Do you feel uncomfortable if someone who you don’t know is physically close to you?
How big is her personal bubble?
127. What do you do when you’re angry? How can I help?
Everyone gets angry. When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to recognize the signs and take steps to resolve the issue.
128. What were you thinking on our first date?
You know you’re curious. Reminisce about days gone by.
If you’re vetting a new employee, or just trying to make the time pass during a long shift, these questions to get to know someone at work will help. They’re purely professional.
You don’t need to be best friends with the people you work with, but connecting – at least on a superficial level – is important. Bonding with your co-workers or employees can also help to boost morale and improve productivity.
Here are 22 best getting to know you questions for work:
129. What more do you want in your career right now?
Most people are working towards professional goals. What are they striving for?
130. What’s the coolest thing you’re working on right now?
Whether it’s a personal or professional project, this question gives them a chance to talk about their current favorite.
131. What’s the most helpful way for you to get feedback?
This question helps you to work together in the most effective way possible.
132. If you were to start a company from scratch, what values would you build it on?
This question is perfect for job interviews, as it shows exactly the type of person they are on a professional and personal level.
133. What characteristic do you most admire in others?
The characteristics they admire say a lot about their own unique traits.
134. What would you be doing if you weren’t at your current job?
It’s easy to look at co-workers and employees as one-dimensional beings, but the reality is that they’re multifaceted people with plenty of interests. Learn about what else they love.
135. What are the best perks that you have ever had at a job?
Be careful if you’re a boss, as this question could lead to conversations that may not work in your favor.
136. Eliminate one thing from your daily schedule, what would it be and why?
All jobs have those little annoyances that we could do without. Talk about them.
137. You can trade places with someone for 1 day. Who would it be?
It doesn’t have to be another employee. This conversation just helps you to understand what kind of person they are.
138. What is one word that you would use to describe your team?
In this case, one word can say a lot more than many words.
139. What is the most important personal attribute that you bring to your job?
This is another fantastic question for job interviews, as it helps you to understand how they would fit into your organization and what niche they would fill.
140. If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be?
This question can help you with your delegation duties. After all, happy employees are productive employees.
141. Describe one experience you’ve had where you took a huge leap of faith.
Whether it was a leap of faith or a trust fall, we’ve all had to forge ahead blindly and hope for the best at some point.
142. What do you do to get rid of stress?
Working can be stressful. Talk about your tips and techniques to unwind at work and when the day is over.
143. Are you very active or do you prefer to just relax in your free time?
This is a surface-level getting to know you question that helps you to understand what they’re like outside of work, without prying too deep into their personal life.
144. What’s the most useful thing you own?
Maybe you’ll find out about a product that could improve your own life.
145. What’s the best thing about traveling?
Meeting new people? Trying new foods? This question can literally open up a whole world of conversation.
146. What is the best way to stay motivated and complete goals?
Everyone has their own way of pushing themselves. What’s yours? Coffee? A good night’s sleep? Being able to pay the rent?
147. What is the craziest, most outrageous thing you want to achieve?
We all have goals – some loftier than others. What’s that wild dream that’s just so crazy that it might work?
148. What do you hope to achieve in your professional life?
What’s the long-term plan? Are they trying to become an actor or just stay employed?
149. What are your retirement plans?
Not everyone is going to have an answer to this one, but it’s a great way to learn about what they love to do outside of the office.
150. What or who has taught you most of the information you use on a regular basis?
Learn from each other. This question can help both of you to become better employees.
If you want some outside-the-box questions to ask, this section will not disappoint. Use these random questions to ask someone when you really want something out of left field.
There’s no telling where the conversation may go. These questions are perfect when you want to get your creative juices flowing. Don’t be surprised if you get some weird looks when you ask them!
Here are 18 random questions to get to know someone:
151. What’s your favorite smell in the whole world?
What’s that one magical odor that makes you stop in your tracks?
152. What is the sound you love the most?
Whether it’s a favorite song, an instrument, or the sound of a train chugging along, this question is sure to spawn some interesting responses.
153. Nachos. What would you put on yours?
We should all strive to improve our nacho game. What are some must-have traditional and outside-the-box toppings?
154. It’s the night before Christmas and you hear footsteps on the roof — what do you do?
Call the cops? Call the Grinch? Let’s be real – it’s probably not Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick.
155. If you had your human body, but the head of an animal, what animal would you pick?
Let’s start by saying it’s just for aesthetic purposes. From there you can discuss sounds, diets, characteristics, and so on.
156. If you could spend five minutes with the president what would you talk about?
Would you give him advice, praise, or a piece of your mind? How would that conversation pan out?
157. If you could hire out one household chore what would it be?
What’s that one chore that drives you crazy? How much would you pay to never do it again?
158. What would be in your dream sandwich?
Make sure you’re near a restaurant or grocery store when you ask this mouthwatering question.
159. What do you think about astrology?
Some live by it and others laugh at it. What’s your take?
160. If you found a briefcase of money on the street, would you keep it?
This question shows you their moral compass. Would they try to find the owner? How would they do that?
161. Do you still dress up for Halloween?
If so, what’s their favorite costume ever, and what are they going to be next Halloween?
162. How many slices of pizza can you eat in one sitting?
Or maybe a better question is “how many pizzas?”
163. What’s your go-to dance move?
Bonus points if they show you on the spot.
164. Are you a daytime napper?
Do they prefer to snooze at night, or take the cat approach and doze off during the day?
165. What’s your favorite time of day?
Is it the magic hour right before the sun sets? Or maybe their lunch break? What time brings them the most joy most consistently?
166. What is your favorite day of the week?
Which day do they wake up fully pumped for what the day will bring? For many it’s the weekend, but others enjoy weekday activities that can lead to great conversations.
167. Do you prefer salty snacks or dessert?
Or Salty desserts? What’s the best treat?
168. Bendy straws or straight ones?
This is probably the most important question on the list. This one really cuts to the core of who they are as a person.
After you’ve bonded over some light discussions and laughs, it’s time to move into deep questions to ask. Some of these can get personal, so don’t be too pushy.
Pay attention to the other person’s body language, and avoid questions that may not be appropriate yet. Some of these may be best saved for a second or third hangout.
Here are 30 best questions to get to know someone deeply:
169. If you could get away with a crime, would you? If yes, what would it be?
This is one of the more interesting questions to ask, as it explores the dark side of human nature by giving someone a “get out of jail free” card.
170. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Our constantly evolving personal lives are determined by the choices we make on a daily basis. Asking this deep question is a great way to gauge how others see themselves and what actions they’d take to transform their current self.
171. If you could choose your last words, what would they be?
Depending on who you ask, this creative question can yield serious, humorous, or personal results.
172. If you could bring back anyone from the dead, who would it be and why?
Long deceased musicians, artists, scientists, and family members have all inspired us through their works and actions. This question sparks fun and often deep conversational possibilities.
173. Is there anything that you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?
We all have that line we won’t cross.
174. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?
How our downtime is managed often defines us, so by giving someone the option for unlimited time, we get to peek into their deepest desires.
175. In what ways do you hold yourself back?
This is a highly personal question that should be reserved for close friends and loved ones. It involves a deeper introspection that strangers may not be comfortable revealing.
176. How do you want to be remembered?
This question provides insight into their ideals, morals and values. Do they want to be remembered as a family man, as someone who cured a terrible disease, or as a movie star?
177. What’s your greatest failure, and how did you overcome it?
Our greatest accomplishments stem from our hardest falls. A deeply personal question, this one should be used to motivate.
178. What’s your greatest achievement, and how has it shaped you?
People love talking about themselves and especially about their past accomplishments.
179. In what ways are you the same as your childhood self?
This question forces them to reflect on the personality traits that have stayed constant throughout their life. If the list is short, they may be a person who’s constantly reinventing themselves.
180. What’s something too serious to be joked about?
Everyone has a limit to what they find to be funny.
181. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?
Some say dreams embody our hopes, fears, and deepest fantasies.
182. If you could choose how you die, how would you go out?
Would they choose to go out in a reckless blaze of glory, or surrounded by loved ones after a perfect day?
183. If you had a week to live, how would you live it?
With only a week to live, your priorities become crystal clear. Would you burn all your bridges? Right all your wrongs? Spend time with family?
184. When you’re 80 years old, what will matter most to you in the world?
This question is based on pure speculation, but it really helps you to understand the inner-workings of the other person.
185. Do you believe people are inherently good?
Or inherently bad? This question helps you to understand how they view the world and the people on it.
186. Which is more important, truth or happiness?
Is there such thing as a white lie? Or, should people be direct even when it hurts?
187. What is something about life that people don’t appreciate as much as they should?
This poignant question can really make you think. Help each other to appreciate those things in the future.
188. What is the biggest thing missing in your life?
This conversation can be a tough pill to swallow for many. Don’t ask it unless the timing is right. Use it to motivate, not break down.
189. What’s the oldest thing you own?
Is it a family heirloom? Part of a collection?
190. What’s a New Year’s resolution you most want to stick to?
This is a more polite and indirect way of asking what they would like to change about themselves.
191. What does it mean to be powerful?
The word ‘power’ has a different meaning to many people. Is it brute force? Cunning? The ability to manipulate? Leadership skills? What is true power?
192. Are we obligated to help others?
This question can really ignite an in-depth conversation on what it means to be a member of modern society.
193. Do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?
This is another tough question that can provoke strong opinions.
194. What is a fair society?
Life isn’t fair, but what would a fair society look like? What would be the rewards and consequences of that type of world?
195. What is truth?
Truth is often based on perception. Can you agree on a true definition?
196. What is love?
Love is a concept that has different meanings to different people. Is it blissful devotion? Is it unconditional caring? What does it mean to you?
197. What is beauty?
It’s certainly in the eye of the beholder. This question can start fascinating conversations about what is universally beautiful and what is rooted in opinion and taste.
198. Why do we create art?
Is it to create beauty in the world? Or, is it to be loved? But both of those responses lead us back to questions #28 and #29. What is it that motivates artists to do what they do?
In addition to providing you with a stellar list of questions to ask, we also included practical tips to help you get the most from them.
Here are 5 powerful tips to help you get to know someone:
Tip #1: Use the Right Getting to Know You Questions
There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy. As you learn how to get to know someone, you’ll realize that each individual requires a unique approach.
The questions you ask a new buddy are probably going to differ from the ones you ask a co-worker. Choose your questions wisely.
Tip #2: Begin with Conversation Starters
We’ve provided a solid list of conversation starters for you. Use them as openers.
Once you’ve had a few laughs or discussions based on those, you’ll be ready to move into funnier or deeper questions.
Start with surface-level conversation starters, and then dig deeper.
Tip #3: Know When to Use Deep Questions
Deep questions are powerful. They’re like conversation seeds that grow into friendships. However, planting them too soon can be problematic.
You don’t want to get too personal too fast. Wait until you feel you’ve bonded enough where asking deep questions isn’t going to seem too forward.
Trust your instincts.
Tip #4: Think About Your Responses
This isn’t a one-sided interrogation! Remember that the get to know questions you ask, are going to be asked back.
Don’t memorize answers to the questions, but it never hurts to think about what you’re going to say. Be prepared yet spontaneous.
Tip #5: Use These Get to Know You Questions Naturally
If you’re asking one rapid-fire question after another, your company is going to be a little confused. Use these getting to know you questions when necessary.
For example, if you’re waiting for dinner to show up and you’re sitting there in silence, that’s a perfect time to ask questions to get to know someone.
On the other hand, when dinner arrives and your company just took a bite, that’s probably not the best timing Pepper these getting to know you questions into your normal conversations naturally. Timing is everything.
Downloadable List of Get To Know You Questions
Looking for More Get to Know You Questions?
This massive list of questions to ask to get to know someone should help you to connect with other people more effectively. At the same time, it never hurts to have some more on tap.
We’ve got you covered:
- We have plenty more Questions to Ask a Girl and Questions to Ask a Guy to make your next hangout a little more exciting.
- Spice up your next gathering with these Would You Rather Questions. Word of warning: you may find out some juicy details about the people you’re with.
- Whether you’re on a road trip or just chilling on the couch, the 21 Questions Game is a classic way to pass the time.
Now that you have plenty of get to know you questions, get out there and use them! After all, getting to know new people is fun and rewarding.
These questions to ask someone to get to know them can lead to lifelong relationships. They can also be used just to eliminate awkward silences. It’s up to you.
Be bold, genuine, and friendly. The rest will come naturally.
Editor’s Note: This post was last updated on 8/28/2017. We added more/better questions and completely revamped + dramatically improved our original 75 Good Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone.