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66 Meaningful Questions For Couples – Know and Love One Another Better

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Jasper is our expert conversationalist and wordsmith. He loves coming up with questions, jokes, and topics designed to create natural conversation. His work has been featured on Marriage.com, iHeart Media, Elite Dai ...
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by | September 13th, 2021


Great questions for couples can really liven up your conversations.

My articles on questions have had millions of readers each year showing that people want to brush up on their communication skills because it's essential for a healthy relationship. The questions to ask that I write create deeper, connected relationships, and make them more intimate.

These couple questions make a difference, so let’s get right into the best questions to ask your girlfriend.

Contents

7 Conversation Starters for Couples

Conversation starters for couples are a bit different than your average conversation starters. After all, you already know each other better than the average person. Asking simple couple questions like "how's your day going?" just doesn't make as much sense. Better, more meaningful questions are needed.

Here are 7 conversation starters for couples:

1. What is the most daring thing that you have done to date?

While your girlfriend may not be a dedicated risk-taker, she definitely has done something risky worth talking about. Finding out all the details of their experiences is always part of the fun.

2. What’s an ideal weekend for you?

It's easy to get caught in a weekend routine that you don't really enjoy. How can you plan to make your weekends better together? Finding out their ideal weekend will give you ideas for future dates and give you an insight into the things they personally enjoy.

3. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?

Asking about her desires and wishes is a great way to start a conversation about what she wants out of life. Make sure to share your goals and aspirations as well.

4. If you had one day left to live on the Earth, what would you do?

What is most important to her? Her answer to this can spark a long discussion about priorities.

5. Which animal do you think is my spirit animal?

Silly and spontaneous, but things like this will get her involved in a fun, playful talk with you. It'll be interesting how she views you as part of the animal kingdom and her justifications for it.

6. What's the craziest job you would consider taking?

Work is a massive part of anyone's life. Couple questions like these are revealing to how she would mix up her work life. And if desperate times call for desperate measures, would that change her answer?

7. If you had to spend 1 million dollars in one day, what would you buy?

Financial priorities determine a lot for a person's life. What are hers? Would she buy a house and a new car, or invest the money into something smart? Or would she live it up, spend on the material things that make life convenient and fun? It's a great conversation starter.

12 Random Questions To Get To Know Your Partner

These random questions to ask your girlfriend are perfect for times when you'd be watching Netflix or checking Facebook; use that time to get to know each other better, and your bond will benefit from it. Questions aren't just for the dinner table; they're great any time you're together.

Here are 12 random questions to get to know your partner:

8. Are you still in touch with your childhood friends?

Childhood friends will understand things about her that nobody else ever will. She'll have plenty of stories to tell that involve them. Being in touch with them is great for her happiness.

9. What is the best prank you have pulled off yet?

Does she have a mischievous, naughty side? Does her personality have an undercurrent of roguish playfulness? Sharing this can lead to random insights about her.

10. What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?

Splurge purchases may not always be the best idea, but what she spends her money on can be a good indicator of her priorities and how she handles her finances.

11. Have you ever done something embarrassing in public?

Learning to deal with embarrassment is an essential adult skill. How did she learn it? These topics of discussion usually lead to a lot of laughing.

12. What's the most impulsive thing you've ever done?

Even if she's not an impulsive person, her impulsive choices may be a great place to start a conversation. Find out if it leads to a positive or negative outcome.

13. Where would you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of 1 to 10?

Of course, this leads easily into her "proving" her rating to you. Practice makes perfect, after all.

14. What type of cologne do you prefer on a man?

If she has a favorite scent with positive memories of it, you may just want to try wearing it yourself. Your scent can actually have an effect on your partner.

15. What kind of clothing and fashion do you find most appealing?

Knowing how she likes to see you dressed is a great way to encourage her desire for you. Once you know, a little effort can be placed into dressing up for her some time; granted, you like the style too, of course.

16. Which animal would you like to ride on at least once in your lifetime?

Funny and unexpected, this is good to lighten up any mood. It's amazing how many animals you can actually choose from. But obviously, some are more possible than others.

17. What is one that job you would never do, even for a million dollars?

What's more important to her than money? Learning her dislikes is as essential as learning her preferences.

18. If you had to switch lives with someone, who would you choose?

This can say a lot about her. Whose lifestyle is she envious of? Or would she rather keep her own? Is it a famous popstar, an influential actress, or an important figure from history?

19. If you had the superpower of invisibility, how would you use it?

Would she use her powers for good or for evil? Either way, this can be an entertaining topic to discuss. How creative can you both get talking about superabilities?

9 Questions For Couples During Would You Rather Game

Would you rather questions are a classic party question game for good reason. By forcing a decision between two options, they have a way of bringing out either more honest answers or hilarious choices. These seemingly nonsense choices are always an enjoyable way to lighten moods. They're perfect as a newlywed game or a fun game to bring up as part of date night questions.

Here are 9 would you rather questions to ask couples:

20. Would you rather have super sight or super hearing?

Superpower questions ask us to think about what our lives would be like without our limitations. You have to think about the pros for both and which would benefit you more.

21. Would you rather fight King Kong or a T-Rex?

Whichever one she chooses to fight, you can continue to make it funnier by asking how she would win the fight (or lose it). You get the bonus of laughing over picturing the scenarios happening. If she's willing to, ask her to act out her fighting moves.

22. Would you rather stop using the internet or stop using deodorant?

This may be the toughest "would you rather" topic for the modern generation. Which is more important to her?

23. Would you rather be the funniest person alive or the most attractive?

Humor is attractive in its own way, but is it more important to her than looks? Tell her to be honest.

24. Would you rather be unable to lie or unable to speak?

Lying is a deep part of our social interactions; would she rather not be able to say anything at all or always give everyone her uttermost personal opinions? These questions can be rather profound.

25. Would you rather vacation with your family or vacation by yourself?

How would she most like to enjoy her time off? She may love her family, but perhaps time away and some space from them is what she truly wants.

26. Would you rather change any one decision from your past or have $40,000 free and clear?

What is it worth to her to change the past? This can be a great opportunity to talk about mutual regrets. Hopefully, a bit of thought is placed into this one because it can be quite an intriguing topic.

27. Would you rather be the hero or the villain?

Good or bad, both heroes and villains have their attractive qualities. But really, which would you rather be?

28. Would you rather have one dream come true or give that chance to your significant other?

Altruism - making choices for the best of others - may lead to greater happiness. Just how much would she be willing to sacrifice for you?

11 Intimate Questions To Ignite Your Connection As Couples

It doesn't matter if you're already a married couple, keeping the romance alive in your relationship can be a challenge, but asking romantic couple questions can be a powerful way to keep your relationships intimate and exciting. You've moved on from asking questions about their favorite meal, their favorite book, or their favorite childhood memory. You now want thought-provoking questions.

Here are 11 romantic questions to ask couples:

29. What is your wildest fantasy?

The right questions for couples can excite each other's passions. If she shares her fantasies, consider making them a reality. It'll be an excellent experience for both of you, and if you fulfill her fantasies, she might satisfy yours. Those are real relationship goals!

30. What do you think makes me smile?

Something as simple as a smile can be a powerful way to connect. Asking this questions her knowledge of you and how much she's taken notice of the things that make you happy.

31. What do I do that turns you on the most?

By making it personal and specific to you both, you can learn just how to make her day that much more exciting. It'll give you an idea of where you're going right and what you could possibly improve on.

32. What is your idea of a perfect romantic date?

Why not come right out and ask how to make a special date with her? Then add your own personal touch to whatever she suggests. Date nights are so crucial for quality one on one time.

33. What is your favorite part of your body to be kissed on?

This question is perfect to ask in a text message during the workday; save the info for when you get home together. Flirtatious texts can get her all sorts of excited.

34. What do you remember most about our first kiss?

Capturing the magic of your first moments together, and reliving it, is a sure way to bring you closer together. It rekindles all those feelings you had at the beginning as well.

35. What's the most romantic thing I have ever done for you?

Because romance is such a personal, individual thing, her answer may surprise you! What you may consider was your most romantic gesture might not be what she has in mind.

36. What is your favorite trait of mine?

Be sure to be ready to share what your favorite trait of hers is, as well! Giving each other compliments is a nice way to appreciate the things you like about each other.

37. What's that one thing about our relationship that makes you the happiest?

Focusing on the positive parts can be a way to create a more optimistic future together. Cover everything from the biggest reasons for your happiness and the smallest gestures that bring joy to your hearts.

38. Which song comes to your mind and heart that reminds you of me?

Music influences our relationships. What type of music does she associate with you? Are you a funky tune, a mellow ballad, or some hip new pop song that has her dancing to the beat?

39. What is your idea of a perfect honeymoon spot?

Dreaming of time together in idyllic settings can be a fun way to spend an afternoon or evening together. It may just be a simple thing, but imagining a holiday away or a honeymoon is like you're making plans for the future. The best thing is you are part of each other's plans.

11 Deep Questions That Will Strengthen Your Connection With Your Lover

Putting in the work to make a deep, stable connection is an imperfect process, but enriching one all the same. Taking the time to figure out deep questions to ask your girlfriend can open the door to new levels of intimacy, and this selection of deep questions to ask is sure to help you with that.

Here are 11 deep questions for your lover:

40. Is it easy for you to show yourself love or speak kindly to yourself?

We need to love ourselves before we can truly love others. How can you help her with this self-love? Some people like to quote positive affirmations to themselves when they get up in the morning; others like a pamper weekend.

41. Do you think that true love really exists in this world?

What is true love, after all? It's a fantastic topic for a deep discussion on views and understanding. Meaningful topics, like talking about love, can have you both really digging deeper into each other's innermost thoughts.

42. What do you find yourself insecure about?

Security in relationships builds stability, and being honest about insecurities can bring you closer together. It's an opportunity to offer some reassurance as well to help build up her confidence on those things, or perhaps you can work on them together.

43. What scares you the most?

Learning to embrace your biggest fear in relationships contributes to more substantial, lasting connections. You can grow together and face them head-on. Talking about what scares you also deepens trust.

44. What did your last relationship teach you?

Being able to learn from past relationships is a key way to ensure future happiness. You will also understand more about how and why they respond to you a certain way. Remember, we are shaped by our past and the people that had been part of our lives.

45. If you could change anything about your past, what would it be?

What is her biggest regret? Women may have more regrets than men; talking about this can lead to deeper conversation and connection. This plays in with talking about regrets.

46. Who is the first person you call when you’re in trouble?

Who she relies on in times of trouble says a lot about her deepest relationships. Does she run to family or friends, or is it you, perhaps? If it's not you and you wished it were, find out what it is about that person, and maybe it will reveal what you can do to change things.

47. Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?

If so, this is an excellent opportunity to confess to your failures in a safe environment honestly. Open and transparent honesty is good for all relationships.

48. How long does it take you to really trust someone?

Trust makes a strong foundation for relationships. But trust isn't built overnight. Knowing how long it takes to build trust with her gives you a good idea of where you stand. What areas can you work on to build that trust and make it as strong as it can be?

49. What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

Does she have something about her that takes time to understand? Asking this lets you know where to put work into understanding your relationship.

50. Are you satisfied with the life you are living?

Finding satisfaction is a complicated process, but talking about it can help both of you understand your lives together more clearly. Where are the areas for improvement, and what does it take to get there? Is it something she needs to work on alone or something you can help her with?

7 Questions To Ask Your Significant Other

When you've been with someone long enough, the talks can start to run a little dry. Don't worry; you don't need marriage counseling. You just need thought-provoking conversation starters. You've gone through all the basics. That's the exact moment you need questions to ask your significant other that can perk the conversations right back up.

Use a few of these to force your way out of the doldrums and into lively, enjoyable talks.

Here are 7 questions to ask your significant other:

51. What food reminds you of me?

They may not have an answer offhand, but it's a new way to think of you, that's for sure. Are you her favorite dish?

52. What’s a question you’ve never asked me?

Get them to ask it now. It may be important. Starting discussions like this is good because the moment can feel light, and the pressure is eased. An embarrassing or heavy question will feel easier because you've asked for it.

53. What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship?

A tricky question to ask, but incredibly necessary. It takes two to tango and two to fix errors in relationships. We know that there is no perfect bond, but it's good to improve where you can.

54. What is your favorite thing I ever did for a special occasion for you?

Recreate something she absolutely loved! It's almost cheating, but why not repeat for her something she enjoyed? Take the answer and do a newer, improved version of that.

55. When we are with my family, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?

You need an answer to this if you want to keep your significant other significant. If she's an important part of your life, she should feel it, especially when you're with family. If she isn't already, perhaps one day she'll be part of yours anyway, right?

56. What was the very first thing you thought about me?

Have fun going through an old favorite memory together and first impressions. Did anything stick? Were they right about what they first thought of you, or were they entirely off? Test her memory and see if she remembers what you were wearing!

57. How long do you think people should wait before having kids?

A fun conversation for speculation and potentially crucial down the line. It's also good to know if kids are something you want in your future together.

9 Relationship Questions For Lovers

Building a relationship takes honesty and straightforwardness, but it can be difficult to know how to introduce those qualities upfront. The best way is through relationship questions for couples that really get at what you need to talk about, uncomfortable or not.

Use these questions when it's just you and your partner to start talking and making your connection stronger.

Here are 9 relationship questions to ask your girlfriend: 

58. What do you consider your best and worst qualities?

Is it a personality trait? Couples questions are all sorts of revealing. Find out about how they see themselves. Is your opinion of their best and worst qualities the same? Make sure to spend a moment to point out something you love about her.

59. Are you friends with any of your exes?

Talk about how you approach a past relationship. Being friends with past lovers is fine for most people, but it's not their favorite thing to some. There are usually clear boundaries in place to make sure everyone involved is comfortable.

60. What’s your definition of cheating?

It may seem obvious to you, but people can have different definitions. Setting clear expectations and understanding each other's wants and needs early on is a good way to ensure the longevity of your togetherness.

61. If you won the lottery tomorrow, how would you lead your life moving forward?

Discuss what an ideal lifestyle looks like. Do they like the idea of setting up comfortably in one place, or do they envision a life of travel? A successful relationship relies on good compatibility, and your partner's answer may strike up something you need to discuss.

62. What soothes you the most on the back of bad news or a tough day?

You'll need to know this because there will eventually be bad news and bad days. Knowing how to comfort each other during times of stress and hurt is important. It's mature to talk about these things and know, rather than guessing, as sometimes the recipient may not like it, no matter how well-intended the actions.

63. In what circumstances do you think it’s okay to fib?

Where's the line on lying in relationships? Again, this may seem clear-cut to you, but to your partner, they may have a different level of acceptance.

64. How would you respond if one of us was offered a job that required a lot of traveling?

Don't leave this one until the job actually appears. This is a possible scenario that could present. Understand what sort of distance is okay, even if it's for the purpose of work. Some people hate the idea of long-distance, even if it's short-term.

65. What’s your ideal climate for establishing a permanent home?

If it comes time for settling down, you'll want to know if you both want the house on the beach or in the mountains. Is there an ideal suburb or city they want to move to?

66. How would you react if we had trouble getting pregnant?

It happens to a lot of couples; discuss it upfront. Children are something some people want in their futures, and if it can't happen, what alternative solutions are they willing to try? And is it something you'd like for yourself?

Downloadable and Printable List of Questions for Couples

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of questions for couples (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):

How to Start Conversations with Your Soul Mate

There are a few things to keep in mind when you want to start conversations with your significant other. While a random question is fine to blurt out here and there, a meaningful discussion needs a little thought.

Here is how to start conversations with your soul mate:

1. Be Patient

When you're thinking about how to start a conversation with your significant other, you have it much easier than starting to talk to a stranger. Why? Because you know you'll be seeing each other, you can be patient and wait for the best time for you both to talk.

2. Set Aside Time

Because you know you'll be seeing each other, starting an intimate discussion with your girlfriend can be best accomplished by setting aside time specifically for it. Ask her when would be a good time to set aside to get to know each other better, turn off your phones and computers, and sit down together. Play a couples game and be prepared with a fun question or two.

3. Limit Distractions

By taking the time to turn off your cell phone, power down your computer, and spend time together just the two of you, you open the door to more genuine conversations. Not only does this give you a chance to take a break from the outside world together, but it also lets you focus on what each other have to say and create a deeper, more intimate connection.

Frequently Asked Questions

It's fine if you've got some queries on your mind about these questions for couples. That's why we've answered a few frequently asked questions. Check them out:

What are some questions for someone in a new relationship?

LINKING = 21 questions for a new relationship

We've got the best 21 questions for a new relationship that are full of thoughtful prompts. But really, it's about asking the right open-ended questions to get someone talking about themselves and what their future goals and aspirations are. Not only will you get to know each other on a more profound level, but it can also reveal if the two of you are compatible and will work out long term.

Why is it good to ask questions to someone you care about?

Sometimes topics come up naturally, but other times the right question needs to be asked. Asking someone you care about questions tells them you are interested in them and care about their opinions. Nothing says "I care about you" more than you willing to invest some time in them.

What should I ask during a date?

LINKING = date questions

Date questions are slightly different because you want to expose the other's person's love language. You still want them to be getting-to-know-you questions, but there has to be a good mix of flirtatiousness and wit. You don't want it sounding like an interview, and you want your date to enjoy themselves.

Do you have any good questions to ask during Valentine's day? Or something interesting to do for couples?

LINKING = Valentine's day questions to ask

LINKING = romantic date ideas

Good Valentine's day questions to ask spark romance. Whether you're staying at home or have romantic date ideas already thought of, you need topics that will add flair to your day or night together. Don't ask questions like "what's your favorite food?" or "what's your favorite movie?" Thrive by giving her intimacy through evocative and charming conversations.

How do I approach my wife when she's mad about something I don't know?

LINKING = what women want in a man

What women want in a man, especially if she's mad, is a little understanding. And if you don't know why the best way to get the answer is to ask her directly but in a manner that shows you're asking because you genuinely want to fix the issue.

More Questions for Couples

Looking for more questions for couples like these? Take a look at these other articles that will jump-start your thinking and get you on the road to asking great questions together:

  1. Just started dating? Try out our Questions to Ask a Girl/Questions to Ask a Guy to get a better general introduction to each other.
  2. Been dating for a few months but still don't know each other very well? Get more personal with our Questions to Ask to Get to Know a Girl/Questions to Ask to Get to Know a Guy.
  3. If she's particularly difficult to get to open up in conversations, try our Interesting Questions to Ask a Girl – they're especially good at stimulating very intellectual women.

In Conclusion

Whether you're looking for questions to ask in a new relationship, or questions to ask your girlfriend after you've been together for a while, keep some of these questions for couples in mind. Or better yet, memorize a few of them, so you don't feel "on the spot" when the right time for a good discussion comes along.

And remember, communication is essential to healthy relationships... So talk to each other as often as you can!

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