Long-term, intimate relationships thrive on having a steady stream of questions to ask your significant other.
Questions for couples can range from small talk to deep, personal questions to ask a significant other. No matter what you’re depth of conversation you’re looking for, this guide is a great place to start:
No matter the situation, these questions are sure to be a powerful way for you and your significant other to connect.
Here are 6 of the best questions to ask your significant other:
1. What’s something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do it?
If you really want to get to know your SO in a deep, intimate way, asking questions (like this one) about their childhood are an absolute necessity.
2. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Questions like this give you and your loved one something to aim for — the first step in creating a better future together.
3. What do you think we need to work on the most in our relationship?
Relationships aren’t all flowers and rainbows; what could you be learning to improve together?
4. What was your favorite date night we ever had?
5. What would be a fun hobby to take up together?
Bonds in intimate relationships get stronger when pursuing hobbies together.
6. How did we make each other smile this week?
It’s incredibly important to look together for the positive parts of your relationship — the things that make you smile together.
Even in the longest-lasting of relationships, it’s still hugely important to pay attention to your conversation starters; these little niceties go a long way towards keeping your relationship friendly and cordial.
Here are 2 conversation starting questions to ask your partner:
7. Space exploration or ocean exploration: what would you sign up for?
“Either/or” questions like this are a great way to spark fresh conversation without too much pressure.
8. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
Everyone has something special about them — this question asks your significant other to think about their unique qualities.
Many of the same questions to ask a girl that you don’t know are just as excellent as questions to ask your girlfriend. See, it pays not to assume too much familiarity with your significant other; this helps to keep everything fresh and interesting, no matter how long you’ve known each other.
Here are 3 questions to ask a significant other to get to know them better:
9. What is the first thing you notice about a person?
First impressions are important — what does she look for most in meeting someone new?
10. What is your all time favorite book?
Books have the power to change the way we think about life — and our relationships.
11. What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?
For many people, their home is a sacred space. How can you help make her home special and important?
Keeping a sense of humor is hugely important in relationships — so developing a strong selection of funny questions to ask can go a long way towards making your relationship that much better. These sort of funny get to know you questions are a perfect way to further cement your relationships bonds without putting any unnecessary stress on the conversation.
Here are 5 funny questions to ask your significant other:
12. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Weird foods around the world can give a great insight into how funny and adventurous your girlfriend is.
13. What’s the worst haircut you’ve ever had?
Descriptions are great, but definitely encourage her to find photos, too!
14. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
It seems like everybody has had at least one terrible job — and looking back on these can be a chance to see them in a humorous light.
15. Ever tried online dating? Worst experience?
Online dating horror stories continue to become more common; can you find something to laugh about together in them?
16. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever worn?
Just like the bad haircut, she gets bonus points for this one if she has a picture of her terrible outfit.
What people find interesting can vary widely based on their life experience, so gathering a wide selection of interesting questions is almost required to be a great conversationalist. These sort of interesting questions to ask a girl that you spend most of your time with can help to make your everyday conversations more engaging and worthwhile for both of you.
Here are 4 interesting questions to ask your significant other:
17. What are two things you would do if you woke up to find yourself completely invisible?
Being invisible would let her do what she wanted without being caught. How might this change the way she lives her life?
18. What do you want your tombstone to say?
This questions might be a little heavy for general conversation, so save it for a time when it can be posed lightly.
19. If you were in the circus what kind of performer would you be? (Clown, tight-rope walker, etc)
Imagining how she might live in another life is a great way to inspire creativity and interest.
20. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?
Rotary phones? Hand-made shoes? Or maybe all of her music on vinyl?
“Never Have I Ever” is a classic party game that can be easily adapted to conversations with your significant other. Try these never have I ever questions the next time you’re out for a drink together, or maybe turn off the Netflix one night and get to know each other in a more old-school way.
Here are 3 never have I ever questions to ask your partner:
21. Never have I ever lied about not doing something you were suppose to do?
These sort of “white lies” are surprisingly common in life!
22. Never have I ever given a stranger a fake phone number.
(605) 475-6968 sound familiar? There are plenty more options for rejection hotlines, as well.
23. Never have I ever had a near-death experience.
Near-death experiences are fascinating, and can lead to deep and important conversations.
Would you rather questions gently force the issue of making a decision. Because making decisions together can be so important for relationships, practicing at it with would you rather questions for couples is a great way to get on the same page in a fun, light-hearted manner.
Here are 3 would you rather questions for couples, to ask your SO:
24. Would you rather take a vow of celibacy or take a vow of silence?
Giving up sex or conversation? It’s a good thing you don’t have to follow through on this one!
25. Would you rather ask for help or figure it out yourself?
Is she more of a DIY-type? Or does she rely on her friends to help solve problems?
26. Would you rather be transported permanently 500 years into the future or 500 years into the past?
Ultimately, this question asks whether she is focused more on the past, or on the future.
Using your time together to learn more about each other with personal questions is a much better and healthier use of time with your girlfriend than, say, watching the 8th episode of that new season you started on Netflix. So take the time to memorize a few of these personal questions to ask a girl you’re dating, and make time for asking them during your next day together with your girlfriend.
Here are 3 personal questions to ask your significant other:
27. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
It’s a stunning paradox: Being more grateful gives you more things to be grateful for.
28. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Mother-daughter relationships can be very challenging. Giving her the opportunity to share about this can be a deeply personal event.
29. Have you ever had to lose someone close to you?
Loss will always be a part of the cycle of life; being able to talk with your significant other about this can be powerfully cathartic.
In every relationship, it’s important to occasionally ask questions specific to how the two of you relate to each other. These sort of relationship questions open the door to further conversations that will continue to bring you closer together.
Here are 3 relationship questions to ask your partner:
30. What should a healthy relationship provide for the people in it?
This question is all-too-often taken for granted in relationships; namely, everyone has somewhat different relationship goals.
31. What gestures do you find truly romantic?
For some, it may be flowers… But others may find a clean kitchen to come home to even more romantic.
32. What is that one thing about our relationship that makes you the happiest?
Taking the time to look at what is most wonderful in your relationship may make you both more appreciative of each other.
At some point in any relationship, you may find yourself wanting to know your significant other on a deeper level. Consider some of these deep questions to ask your girlfriend as you’re considering what’s most important in your life and your relationship; oftentimes, just having a great selection of deep questions to ask can lead to powerful conversations.
Here are 4 deep questions to ask your significant other:
33. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
Essentially, this question asks: What do you think is missing in your life?
34. Do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do we just find reasons after things happen?
Philosophical questions like this can be great to come back to time and time again.
35. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?
This question asks: What are her fears preventing her from doing right now? How can you help her overcome them?
36. Do you believe in life having a purpose? Do you have one?
Indian philosophy calls one’s life purpose “dharma”, a word meaning “that which must be done”.
Downloadable List of Questions to Ask Your Significant Other
Here is a downloadable list of questions to ask your significant other (right click the image and select Save Image As…):
questions to ask friends
More Great Questions to Ask
Looking for questions to ask outside of your relationship? We’ve got you covered:
- Our questions to ask friends are perfect for all levels of relationships.
- Trying to get to know one of your buds better? Check out our questions to ask a guy.
- These general conversation topics are a great catch-all if you don’t know who you’ll be talking to next.
Need a little help deciding how to ask your questions? Keep these 3 tips in mind:
Here are 3 powerful steps to ask questions to your significant other:
- Make time specifically for talking: These questions are best received if you dedicate time specifically to having a conversation with each other, without too many distractions.
- Be willing to fail: Sometimes, these questions will fall flat. This is natural, and provides an opportunity to learn the sort of questions your significant other finds most important to answer.
- Avoid “small talk”: Each of these questions can spark new dialogue between you and your partner; try to avoid the temptation to rehash the same questions over and over.
Well, there you have it: Our best collection of questions to ask your significant other.
These questions for couples can help someone get to know you better, and developing a habit of questions to ask your partner or questions to ask significant other can be a great way to keep your relationship fresh and interesting.