Why are relationship questions so important?
Because… communication is the key to any successful relationship. From dinner conversation to pillow talk, these questions to ask are perfect for connecting with your significant other in a meaningful way.
Even the most head-over-heels-in-love couples sometimes run out of things to say. Don’t worry — that’s normal. After all, when you spend so much time together, it’s easy for the conversation to run dry.
Use these questions for couples to ignite new discussions so you can keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
These are some of the best relationship questions because they really cut to the chase. These are some of the important questions that you need to ask as the relationship progresses. Some are about the future, some help you get to know S.O better, and some are for helping you to improve your relationship.
Some of these questions can be heavy-hitters. Make sure the mood and setting is right, and don’t ask too many in one sitting. Make sure you really pay attention to the answers you get from these relationship questions, and be ready to engage in in-depth discussions. When the lines of communication are open, you have the potential to really strengthen your relationship.
Here are 7 of the best relationship questions:
1. What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?
This question is super useful because it indirectly asks what types of behavior she finds annoying. Don’t do those things.
2. What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?
Even if you have no plans to have kids, this question can tell you a lot about her.
3. If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?
Next time she’s having a bad day, remember her answer.
4. Would you say that I understand what you are feeling?
If not, ask her how you can improve that dynamic.
5. How content are you with the amount of non-sexual affection in the relationship?
It’s important to check in with her from time to time to make sure she’s happy.
6. The two of us are hitting the great outdoors. What would you prefer to spend the day doing?
Use her answer to plan your next outdoor adventure together.
7. If you could ask me anything and have me answer truthfully, what would it be?
Be prepared for some open, candid discussion. Don’t ask this question unless you’re ready to give honest answers.
At a loss for words? These conversation starters are perfect for sparking some dialogue. After all, sometimes words are going to escape you — sometimes at inopportune moments.
Keep these relationship questions in the back of your mind so you can pull them out as needed. You never know when you might have a long car ride with nothing to say.
Here are 5 of the best relationship conversation starters:
8. How would you want to spend a special day with each other?
Simple and sweet. This is your cue to plan a date.
9. Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is corny?
Even if she says yes, buy her flowers anyways. Better safe than sorry.
10. Do you remember the first thing we said to one another?
Reminiscing about old times is a great way to rekindle those early feelings from the honeymoon stage of your relationship.
11. What is the best “relationship advice” someone has ever given you?
This question helps you to understand how she approaches the relationship. Take the advice to heart.
12. Are you happy with the amount of us-time and apart-time we have?
Happy couples aren’t always together 24/7. It’s crucial that you strike a balance between not enough time together and too much. Use this question to find the sweet spot that works for both of you.
When you’re in the early stages of a relationship, you’re still getting to know each other on a more intimate level. These get to know you questions provide insight into your significant other’s personal life. They give you information that you probably wouldn’t find out unless you asked. Sometimes being direct is the best approach.
Use these questions to ask a girl to get to know her sparingly. You don’t want her to feel like she’s being interrogated. Keep it light and easy, and work these relationship questions into conversation when it feels natural.
Here are 5 get to know you relationship questions:
13 Are you friends with any of your exes?
If not, you may want to be wary moving forward, as there’s probably a reason.
14. Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?
Honesty is the foundation of relationships. Is there such thing as a white lie, or are the ugly truths necessary?
15. What was your favorite part of the year?
This question helps you to understand what makes her happy. Create similar memories with her, but don’t be afraid to branch out too.
16. What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?
Knowing what turns her off makes it easy for you to avoid those things.
17. Are there any times you feel lonely, left out or like I’m not reachable emotionally?
Sometimes working on yourself is essential to the longevity of a relationship.
These questions to ask your girlfriend have two purposes. The obvious one is that they start important conversations about the relationship, helping both of you to improve your relationship dynamic. These questions encourage you to open up to each other. Honesty is the key to making them work.
The other reason why these questions to ask your significant other are so great is because they show her that you care. Just the act of asking these types of questions prove to her that you’re genuinely invested in the relationship and that you want to make it work. Watch her eyes light up when you ask the first one, and you’ll be hooked.
Here are 4 of the best questions to ask your girlfriend:
18. What was the best moment in our relationship so far?
And how can you top it?
19. What are the biggest differences between us?
Sometimes opposites attract.
20. What is one area in your life where you feel like something is missing?
Try to find out how you can help her fill that hole.
21. Do you think I can be both your best friend and your lover?
If you want your relationship to last for the long haul, your S.O should also be your best friend.
The ‘would you rather’ game is a timeless time-passer. These would you rather questions for couples take the classic concept a step further. By giving her two choices, you make the conversation focused and easily digestible.
The next logical followup to these questions is a simple “why?” Encourage your S.O to elaborate on their answers. You may be surprised by how many meaningful conversations can arise from a simple ‘would you rather’ question.
Here are 5 of the best would you rather relationship questions for couples:
22. Would you rather stay in or go out for a date?
Her answer may change depending on her mood, so don’t start staying in or going out every night.
23. Would you rather me cook you breakfast in bed or a candlelit dinner?
If you ask this question, you had better be ready to come through with that feast.
24. Would you rather travel around the world or have a family?
What are her priorities at this point in time?
25. Would you rather be proposed to in private or in front of family and friends?
If you ask this question, you had better have a down payment on a ring.
26. Would you rather be known for your intelligence or your good looks?
Let her know that this is a hypothetical question, of course, as she is already known for both.
When you’re ready to take your conversation to the next level, use these deep questions to ask. These are big, powerful questions, so proceed with caution. Make sure you’re confident in your relationship, as some of these topics can be divisive.
If you’re going to use these deep questions to ask your girlfriend, be prepared for heavy answers. Asking the question is the easy part. The resulting discussion is what takes effort. Be open, honest, and communicative, and you’ll find that these questions can strengthen the bonds of your relationship in incredible ways.
Here are 7 of the best deep relationship questions:
27. What would you define as cheating?
It’s vital that you know each other’s boundaries so you never cross them.
28. Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?
And if so, is the relationship truly successful?
29. Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?
When it too much information truly too much?
30. What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?
Be prepared for harsh truths, but also be willing to look for solutions.
31. Do you think a couple’s finances should be together or separate?
At some point, you’re going to need to figure out the money dynamics in your relationship.
32. What are your biggest fears about relationships?
Facing your fears head-on is the best way to conquer them.
33. What lessons have you learned from past relationships?
Prior romantic experiences can provide valuable insight into current ones, but don’t dwell too much on the past.
Downloadable List of Relationship Questions
Here is a downloadable list of relationship questions (right click the image and select Save Image As…):
More Great Questions to Ask
We’ve only scratched the surface here, so if you want more questions that are perfect for that special person in your life, check out these other collections:
- These questions to ask a girl are custom tailored for the fairer sex.
- Got a crush? Try these questions to ask a girl you like on for size.
- When you want to really get to know someone, these personal questions are your ticket in.
1. Make Every Question Count
When it comes to relationship questions, quality is more important than quantity. The goal of asking these questions is to get meaningful answers that help you improve your relationship. Don’t just ask one and move on. Dwell on the answers, and really make it a point to hash things out until you’re both on the same page.
2. Be Kind and Understanding
There may be times when you don’t like the answers you get. If that happens, try not to let your emotions get the best of you. Instead, seek out solutions. If you’re both committed to making the relationship, communication is an absolute must — even when it’s tough.
3. The Setting Matters
Some questions should be saved for special places. For example, you may not want to ask your girlfriend how she feels about having kids while she’s on her lunch break at work. If you’re going to ask a big question, make sure you’re in the right environment.
4. Timing Is Everything
Even more important than where you are is when you are. For instance, if you’re in the car running late for an appointment, it’s probably not the best time to start asking relationship questions. Pay attention to the intricate nuances of your relationship, and ask relationship questions at opportune times, when it feels right. Always make sure there’s plenty of time for the resulting conversation to take place uninterrupted.
Read through these questions to ask, and pick a few that really speak to you and your relationship. Store them in your brain files so you can pull them out when the time is right. Pro tip: In a pinch, you can always duck to the bathroom and pull them up on your phone.
Now that you have plenty of questions for couples on deck, the next step is asking them. Bringing up relationship questions can be scary, but it’s worth it.
Be bold and ready to communicate, and you’ll find that every conversation gets easier.