Before we get to the things to talk about on a first date, let's take a moment to say: Congratulations, you did it! You managed to get the girl you wanted to go out with you.
That in and of itself is a major step for any guy, and you should feel proud you've pulled it off.
But, of course, getting to that first date is only part of how to get a girlfriend. You need to be able to talk to her, make her comfortable, make sure she enjoys herself, and most importantly, make sure she wants to go out again.
Well, don't worry. We've got you covered. Use all the tips below to transform a mundane meeting into a major dating success.
3 Best Things To Talk About On A First Date
What you're really asking for when you are looking for things to talk about on a first date is a set of topics that make it easier to know what to say to a girl when you first meet up, in the middle of the date, and right at the end.
Well, here are three big topics to cover in your date to make sure you'll keep chatting all night.
Start by using this opportunity to learn more about her. Ask about her history (family, school, jobs), her current life, and her future goals (where does she see herself in five years?).
Then, broaden out a bit to the general (sports, movies, music, whatever she seems interested in), so you have a chance to find out how well your tastes match up.
Finally, finish it off with recommendations. Use what you've learned to ask her advice on a great horror movie that could make you a fan as big as she is, or the band you really need to hear. Keep this in mind if you're thinking about what to talk about on first date.
Then, you can use that as a bridge to getting into date 2.
Things To Talk About and Do On a First Date
The truth is, all you really need to do is go off what you know about her. If she's a huge movie fan, then the dinner & a movie can work just fine.
If she's a sports nut, hit up a game. If she's a big reader, see if a local author is giving a reading.
Regardless, choosing an activity that she likes shows that you thought of her when making plans. At the same time, it also makes it easier to find things to talk about on a first date.
Things To Talk About Before You Kiss on The First date
You've made it through most of the date, but now you're at the crucial moment: the kiss. Everyone knows that the kiss on first date is the biggest sign things have gone well or poorly.
That means you really want to set up that kiss right with things to say to a girl you like that are right in that moment.
Don't stress. Just give her a compliment while you move closer. Tell her you've had a great time. Tell her she's been wonderful. Tell her you're so glad you finally went out. Tell her she's beautiful.
Don't make it too wordy, just a short and sweet compliment should do it.
How to Pick What To Talk About On A First Date: 8 Steps
While it's great to have some broad topics and a few good ideas to build your conversation around, a date can be a really long time to stretch those topics. Essentially, you have to be able to think on your feet.
But that doesn't mean you're on your own.
Here are 8 steps to know how to construct your conversation as you go:
1. Use What You Know Already from the Steps Above
You'll need more than the framework laid out above, but a framework isn't a bad place to start. Use the 3 Best Things to Talk About and other sections to give yourself a leg up from the start.
2.Understand the Setting
You would be surprised at how many conversation topics are just sitting around you at all times, waiting to be discussed.
If you've chosen a date activity that matches your date's interests, then you already have things to talk about on a first date just laying about.
Use the movie posters for upcoming releases to discuss what looks good and what doesn't. Use the jerseys for sale to ask her about her favorite player now and in the past. Browse through a genre of books neither of you usually read and see if you can both find books you think are worth a glance.
3. Understand Women
So, a few things to know about women on a date: they want to know you're interested, they want to be entertained, and they want to see you like them for more than just how good they look.
Try to make sure your conversation hits on these points repeatedly. Ask lots of questions (see Step 5 for more on that), compliment her for how good she looks but also for how clever and interesting she is, and throw in a joke or two to keep her laughing and enjoying your talk.
4. Understand This Particular Woman
Women, like men, tend to share some qualities, but at heart, they're individuals. So, use what you know about the woman you're with to better settle on the things to talk about on a first date.
If she isn't big on talking about herself, don't press it. If she keeps moving the conversation in a different direction, let her (more on that in Step 7). Follow her interests and her conversation choices so that you keep her comfortable and engaged.
5. Ask First Date Questions
Perhaps the most useful step in the whole list. Use first date questions as liberally as possible.
Ask her about what she likes to do, what she hates about her job. Find out where she would live if she could live anywhere.
Ask her about as many things as possible. Questions are a great tactic on a date because they allow you to learn more about your date and they show how interested you are in them.
With questions, you get to drive the conversation while also showing you want it to be all about her.
6. Turn on the Charm
If you're good at it, then jokes can be a great first date tool. First of all, that gives you many more things to talk about on a first date. And second, if you get her laughing, she'll want to extend that first date forever.
If you aren't a great comedian, don't worry. You can stick with using sweet comments to keep her feeling nice.
While you don't want to lay it on too thick, tell her when she makes a clever point and remind her you think she's looking great.
Whichever method works best for you, use it. Ideally, mix the two together.
7. Let Her Drive the Conversation
Conversation is a balancing act. You want to have a natural flow in which each person takes the lead sometimes, talking more, choosing topics, and making the effort to be funny or sweet.
So, this point is really just a reminder to keep that in mind. Don't always talk over her and don't rush topics.
8. Know How to End a Conversation
Conversations have to come to an end. While you want to have things to talk about on a first date, you also need to know when to retire those things.
To begin with, it's okay to allow some pauses in your conversation. Don't force it to continue unnaturally.
Also, don't panic in those moments. Use all the tips above to find another topic, or if it's at the end of the night, transition to the kiss, and give her a great good night.
More Steps On How To Get A Girlfriend
When you're trying to get a girlfriend, having things to say on a first date will only get you so far. Use some of these other articles to get the rest of the way:
- Learn how to approach a girl to get closer to that first date.
- Stop stressing about how to talk to girls and become a master of the chat up.
- Improve your kissing performance by discovering how to kiss a girl right.
While it won't take you all the way, having things to talk about will make it a lot easier to relax and focus on getting closer to the girl you like.
There are plenty of first date tips out there, but few of them are as effective as having the right things to say on that crucial first romantic get together.
Master the steps above, and you won't need to worry about how to get a girlfriend, you'll be well on your way already.