7 Reasons Nice Guys Finish Last (And How to Fix It!)
Gentlemen, today we’re sharing the 7 biggest reasons nice guys finish last.
There was a time, not too long ago actually, that being a nice guy just meant you were, you know… Nice. But since then, it’s taken on another definition.
These days, you can be good, you can be kind… But you don’t want to be nice. Nice is lukewarm. At best it’s an unremarkable, generic compliment, and at worst, being called “nice” is a low key criticism that speaks to a weak-willed nature and tendency to be a pushover… Not exactly something you want!
Let’s jump in.
Why Nice Guys Finish Last - 7 Reasons Why Girls HATE Nice Guys (AVOID THESE!)
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7 Reasons Nice Guys Finish Last (And How to Fix It!)
Here are 7 biggest reasons nice guys finish last:
7. They’re Not Failures
You heard that right! If there’s one thing non-nice guys understand, it’s that no matter what anyone tells you, you can’t win ‘em all. When non nice-guys, we’ll call them alphas, when alphas see a girl they like, they don’t worry about the approach. Whether they decide not to approach, or they don’t hesitate, coming across a girl in the wild ain’t no thing.
But Nice Guys?… They’re afraid of rejection and failure before they even make eye contact, and in turn, they never get better at talking to girls and instead they remain only as the nice boy from down the block who waves a lot.
Think of it like this, you can have the most expensive pair of running shoes in the world, but if you’re too afraid to get them dirty, you’ll never win the race.
6. They Don’t Face the Music
Most reasonable people absolutely despise confrontation. Whether you’re in the wrong or you’ve got to tell someone else they’re wrong, confrontation is a messy part of life that most people would rather not do. But… It happens. And part of what life (hopefully) trains you to do, is handle confrontation quickly, efficiently and graciously.
Unfortunately, nice guys didn’t get the memo. Instead of knowing how to do things like… take criticism, squash an argument, or give honest feedback, nice guys either run from it and put their heads in the sand and avoid confrontation to the extreme.
Our advice? Try not to do that. It’s an easy habit to fall into. If anything, try to invite a certain amount of confrontation. Don’t get yourself in trouble, but use the opportunity to learn how to engage constructively with others.
5. They Fake Their Baseline
One of the easiest ways to come in last place in the girl race, is to expect you’ll come in first without putting in the work, to which we say, “Nah man.” Getting to know a girl is not a passive experience.
You gotta thrown down. And just because a guy is nice, pleasant, and agreeable… It’s not like a girl is instantly going to want to run away with him. Because here’s what nice guys forget, just because kindness and cordiality gets you into class, doesn’t mean it’s all you need to pass.
4. They Forget to Zen
Just like growin’ a ‘stache, fixing up an old motorcycle or proving yourself to your mom’s new boyfriend takes time… Getting a girl to like you doesn’t happen overnight. (Usually)
Non-nice guys are better at taking the waiting period in stride, they know good things take time, whereas nice guys seem to have to jump ahead… while already feeling like they paid their dues. Maybe it’s the gold star culture, maybe it’s the internet, maybe it’s Maybelline, whatever’s behind it, entitlement is at the heart of the nice guy mentality.
Imagine you’re a nice guy for a sec. You’re good at talking to girls, but you’re stuck in a cycle. It seems like every time you talk to a girl, you also torture yourself as you sit and wait for her to make up her mind.
Instead, relax and move on. Every time you talk to a girl, consider it a seed planted. Unfortunately, you’ll sometimes end up waiting for a girl who just isn’t interested. 7 reasons nice guy finish last can help you recognize when that’s happened.
3. They Fail At Rejection
If a girl says she’s not interested, how would a reasonable guy respond? He’d pack it up and move on.
In the big picture, not a big deal, especially because “Surprise”… it’s not actually that fun being with a girl who doesn’t like you back.
Nice guys tend to overlook that, though. And part of the reason they’re notorious, is because they burn the house down if things don’t work out. And in true nice guy form, they explode on the girl. (We’ve seen the text screenshots and it is not pretty.) He might even call her rude names, and crank up the victim levels to 11.
2. They Declare Their Own Niceness
Remember when we said being called nice is something no guy should want?
Well it’s a little more complicated than that. You see, being called nice is not the death knell it’s always made out to be. Because most guys out there, are just the good old fashioned kind of nice, kind-hearted guys girls do actually want.
What you really don’t want to be, is a guy who has to tell other people he’s nice. Just like if you’ve got to say you’re the boss, you’re not really a boss, if you’ve got to tell people you’re nice… you ain’t that nice.
1. They Forget Their Behavior
It’s a little ironic. Nice guys have the bad habit of only thinking of themselves. But they never seem to think about their behavior.
One of the reasons nice guys can’t seem to escape that nice guy stigma, is that they don’t realize they constantly break social and dating norms. They haven’t quite figured out that a) there’s more to it than just being nice and b) you’ve also got to have the other qualities girls (or anybody) connect with.
The reason niceness seems to work for some guys, and the reason it doesn’t work for them, is because the guys who benefit from being nice, also know how their behavior affects others. In other words, their actions are consistent with their attitude. Saying you’re nice is one thing, but being nice is what it’s all about.
The Number 1 Reason Nice Guys DON’T Finish Last
As promised, here’s the one surprising thing you might be able to learn from… the nice guy.
While a lot of nice guys don’t do themselves any favors most of the time, they’ve at least got the right idea: It’s better to be good, than be bad. While their execution could be better, they seem to get that decency can be hard to come by. These days, it’s easy to think you’ve got to be a jerk to succeed. And as a result, you get a lot of guys who tend to make people’s days worse.
So what did we learn? Be a good guy, but don’t be a nice guy. Don’t expect anything in return for your good deeds, and you’ll strike the perfect balance that universally all girls look for in their guy.
That was the 7 biggest reasons why nice guys finish last.
Thanks for watching!