In this post, we're breaking down a list of funny things to say to a narcissist.

I've shared a lot of tips to help men and women create interesting conversations, from cool icebreakers to good-natured pickup lines, and when someone's too full of himself, knowing a handful of funny things to say or comebacks for narcissists can be useful.

Whether it's a family member, a friend, or a lover, this list of funny things to say to a narcissist will help you take them down a notch.


10 Best Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist

1. I'm sorry you feel that way. Let me buy you a nice cup of get over it.

2. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?

3. What a big ego you have!

4. You must be really proud of yourself!

5. Wow, you must be really special!

6. Did my self-absorption get in the way of yours?

7. You're so ugly that your reflection looks away when you look in the mirror.

8. Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.

9. You sound better with your mouth closed.

10. I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

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Half of the things narcissists say are insults and abuse, but that doesn't mean you can't strike back. Narcissists love hurting feelings because, in reality, these guys have egos weaker than the dollar system.

1. I am not an astrologer, but I am sure that the earth still revolves around the sun, not around you.

Sometimes a narcissist just needs to be reminded that not everything is about them.

2. I bet you can't go five minutes without talking about yourself.

People love talking about themselves, but people with overt narcissism will talk about themselves unless someone stops them.

3. You're so full of yourself, it's amazing you don't float away!

The best way to deal with a condescending narcissist is to let them know exactly how you see them.

4. Do you know what your problem is? You don't know you are the problem.

I mean, seriously. These guys have trouble taking hints. If that's the case, your best option is to enlighten them with something that punches.

5. You live life like it's all about you. Why do you think you're alone?

You don't want to be in a romantic relationship or any kind of relationship with a narcissistic person. It's not that they can't have feelings for you. It's just hard for them to do it.

6. Thanks for reminding me why nobody likes you. I almost forgot.

There's no better way to ground a narcissist than by letting him know no one likes him.

7. Yeah, let’s ignore everything I said and talk about you more.

Narcissists love talking about themselves, leaving no room for anyone to shine but them.

8. Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated.

Narcissists have a severe case of main character syndrome.

9. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.

Really. A narcissist should be anyone but himself. These guys are born divas.

10. You must be exhausted from all that ego-lifting.

Narcissist love putting themselves on the spotlight even when they're not really for it.


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10 Smart One-Liners That Will Bruise Their Ego

If you want to know how to insult a narcissist, the answer is to play their own game. Sometimes you got to let people get a taste of their own medicine.

11. Clean your mouth. There is still some trash around your lips.

Narcissists have a way with words and know exactly how to hurt you.

12. I don't think you're as great as you think you are.

Nothing like a good reality check to keep these guys at bay.

13. Well, I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

You would not want to agree with a narcissist because that's how they get stronger, and you wouldn't want that.

14. No sponge in the world can beat your abilities at self-absorption.

If you are in a romantic relationship with a narcissistic person, trust that it will always be one-sided. Those guys are literally named after a demigod who was punished for being so vain.

15. Feed your ego yourself. I am busy doing important things.

Narcissists feed off the good energy they take away from people in their lives, but only if you let them.

16. You're like a balloon, full of hot air.

They are just hot air, really. They and are fleeting can't hurt you unless you let them.

17. And that's why no one likes you.

End them fast and good with this one-liner guaranteed to hurt their ego.

18. I think you might be overestimating your importance here.

It's true what they say. People who are constantly trying to prove how great they are are just empty sacks trying to fill their egos.

19. I forgot that I only exist when you need me.

Narcissists are manipulators and will use you however way they want.

20. Hit the Brakes, Speedy.

Just tell them to slow down a bit. Seriously, some people can go on and on about themselves and never stop.

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Narcissists are master gaslighters and the more you let them manipulate you, the more they take advantage of you.

21. I'm sorry. I must have mistaken you for someone who actually cares.

Narcissists care only for themselves, so don't count on them for emotional support.

22. Remember when I asked for your opinion? I don't, either.

Unsolicited advice is already annoying enough coming from a normal person. Imagine how terrible they would be coming from a narc.

23. Get over yourself. Not everyone wants to be in your shoes.

No one would wish to be a narcissist because those guys are really just sad little boys and girls alone in their miserable worlds.

24. Keep rolling your eyes. You might eventually find a brain.

Or their conscience because some of them are really smart not just emotionally.

25. Someday you'll go far, and I really hope you stay there.

If you've ever been with a narcissist, you'll probably agree that the world would be such a better place without them.

26. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.

You'll know a narcissist when you see one. They're all talk and no walk.

27. I’m sorry. I must have forgotten that you’re an expert on everything.

Only a narcissist would claim to be a jack of all trades even when they're barely performing.

28. Why did you cross the road? You must have thought it was a boundary.

This is super funny. Boundaries do not exist for narcissists.

29. Unfortunately, narcissism is not a crime, so you’re free to go.

I wish it were a crime! These guys can be dangerous unattended.

30. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.

A salute to anyone dealing with a narcissist. I don't know how you do it. Seriously though, I hope you're okay.

Downloadable and Printable List of Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of funny things to say to a narcissist (right-clicked the image and select Save Image As...):

Other Ways to Handle Narcissists

You can't always be throwing funny comebacks to say to a narcissist. Sometimes, you must deal with it by making it known you're not one to be messed with.

1. Establish and enforce boundaries.

Victims of narcissistic abuse were often vulnerable and clueless people who didn't even know these kinds of people existed. If you don't want to be a part of their long list, put yourself on a pedestal and draw clear boundaries for your relationships.

2. Know when they're gaslighting you.

If you feel confused or violated after confronting a narcissistic person, there's a good chance that you're being gaslighted. Narcissistic people manipulate people by using their words against them and blurring their reality. Trust your gut feeling.

3. Avoid confrontation.

If you have confronted a person more than once and are still unwilling to change their behavior, the easiest and smartest way to handle them is to cut them off your life.

4. Stay calm.

As I said, narcissists feed off people's energy. When dealing with one, put on a brave face and try not to show any emotion.

5. Speak up for yourself.

It can be intimidating to speak up for yourself when you're with a manipulator, but it is a must. They can only push you around if you let them, so go ahead and let them know you won't be one of their victims.

6. Get support.

A strong support system can make all the difference when dealing with someone showing narcissistic traits. You can help yourself by surrounding yourself with people you can trust and who have got your back.

Frequently Asked Questions

If you have more questions about dealing with a narcissist, here are more frequently asked questions about them that you should remember.

Should narcissists be trusted?

People you trust are the only people who can hurt you, so be careful who you let in your life. Narcissists can be quite tricky, so always watch your back.

How do people turn into narcissists?

A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health disorder often developed in childhood. People with narcissistic tendencies grew up in homes where their efforts aren't acknowledged and where they don't feel supported. As adults, they learned how to get their unmet needs by manipulating people into submission.

Can narcissists change?

Yes, but only if they want to. You can't change a person unless they see a problem.

Should I keep engaging with narcissists?

I would limit interacting or engaging with a narcissist. They can be very cunning and would try to earn your trust so that they can use you.

More Things To Say

If you need more help expressing yourselves, here are more articles to help you out.

  1. Whether you're trying to make friends or small talk, these positive things to say to someone are always a hit.
  2. Wooing a girl? This list of funny things to say to a girl will make her laugh.
  3. This list of romantic things to say will make anyone's heart flutter.