In this article, I'll teach you how to get a girl to like you again.
So you let a keeper go and have no idea how to get her back. Luckily, I've written many articles to help men work out their dating woes, from starting a conversation with their crush, what do girls like and reasons why a girl is ignoring them.
5 Reasons Why Women Turn Away and Lose Interest
There could be a lot of reasons girls think you're unattractive, and it goes beyond face value. Here's the truth, women are complicated creatures. Even when a woman tells you it doesn't take much to make her happy, she is still high maintenance. Not that it's a bad thing. Having a girlfriend just requires abundant care and attention. It's not enough to be a nice guy. A high value man would understand that going into a romantic relationship takes more than attraction. A big chunk of it is built on commitment, passion, and a bit of mind-reading (if you know what I mean).
Before you even ask a girl out and get in a relationship, you might want to get yourself familiar with all the things that tick any woman off.
1. You Are Not Your Word
Gone are the days were men actually live by their words. In medieval times, men believed that "a promise made is a promise kept" and that breaking their word meant tainting their name and honor. These days, some guys treat their promises like a tweet they could just delete once they change their minds.
One important thing you need to remember about women is that they have great memories. Everything you say to them will be remembered, monitored, and used against you when they have to. Saying something and not acting on it is one fewer brownie point. Breaking a promise is an offense. When you think about your commitments, remember that every time you keep your word, it shows her that you got her back and she can trust you. Each time you say you will get it done, do it or face her losing respect for you and leaving you for someone who can actually walk the talk.
2. You Are Not on the Same Page
Timing is important for a romantic relationship to work, but as Ted Mosby said, "timing is a bitch." A healthy relationship requires two individuals with the same values and who can agree to disagree on most things. In fact, according to anthropologist Helen Fisher, who has done a lot of extensive research about human love, a relationship is more likely to survive if a guy and a girl in love have fewer bridges to cross. This means that if your core values are not aligned, keeping your relationship will be a bit of a struggle. If this is the case in your relationship, your girlfriend will be in a constant state of doubt.
It's even harder when one of you is not willing to compromise. My dad used to say, "True love prefers compromise over conflict." It's probably one of the best pieces of dating advice I got from him, and it's true. I've realized over time that a healthy relationship is one where you and your partner can willingly meet halfway, because you both understand that it's necessary to allow your relationship to grow. And if you can't, it just won't work.
3. You've Become Complacent
Familiarity breeds complacency, which can sometimes be the case with most couples. In my years as a dating coach, I've had women coming to me to complain about how their boyfriends aren't spending time with them anymore.
Here's another piece of dating advice: stay consistent and don't stop doing nice things for your girlfriend even after she said yes to you. Look. Relationships take a lot of work. All the flirting, surprising her with flowers, and spending time together don't just stop after you get her. If anything, you should be doing more of it. The nice things you do for her don't even have to be grand. You just need to show her she's still important and love her just the same as when you first met her.
If you love her and think she's a keeper, being complacent in your relationship is the last thing you'd want to do because that's a surefire way to make her lose feelings for you.
4. You Were Jealous
If there's no trust, there's no love. Mutual trust has always been one of the defining traits of healthy, long-lasting love. And if you ask me, it's the most important thing couples should nurture in their relationship. Why? Because it just makes everything easier. Going away for a business trip? "Cool. Have fun. I'll miss you." Catching up with a friend over brunch? "Sure. Say hi to him (or her) for me."
Being able to trust each other completely allows the both of you to live your lives fully, and grow as individuals while maintaining a loving, supportive, and not at all suffocating relationship.
5. You Grew Apart
As I said, a relationship shouldn't hinder you from growing as a person. If you're not growing together, the time will come one of you will realize that living your separate lives is better than staying stuck and stagnant in your relationship.
How to Get a Girl to Like You Again - 7 Steps To Win Her Back
So you've made the mistake of letting a good one go, and now you spend your days locked up in your room sulking while Bruno Mars' "When I Was Your Man" is on repeat. Sigh. Fortunately, second chances exist, and I know just how to get a girl to like you again.
Step #1: Figure out what went wrong
Breakups aren't all that bad. Sometimes being alone helps you get in touch with yourself, spend time with your thoughts, and reflect on your decisions. During this time, you might realize some things you could have done better in your relationship and things about yourself you could work on. Then, you can work on trying to mend the relationship once both of you are ready.
Step #2: Make her miss you.
Time has a way of making us realize who matters and who doesn't. Perhaps some time apart might just be a good idea. If you want your ex to miss you, the most surefire way to do it is to have no contact with her for thirty days. That means you don't get to talk to her, make a phone call, text her, stalk her on social media, and meet up with her.
The psychology behind the "30-day No Contact Rule" is that it forces you and your ex to really work on yourselves, reflect on what transpired in your relationship, and make sense of old feelings you felt that caused your breakup. It also gives you enough time to decide whether or not your relationship is worth a second shot.
Step #3: Start working on yourself.
As I said, you can turn a bad breakup around by devoting your time to improving yourself and coming out of it as a high value man.
Perhaps your life needed direction, and being in a relationship made you feel like you weren't good enough for anyone. Maybe you were insecure and made the terrible mistake of cheating on your ex. Whatever caused your breakup, know that it always takes two to make or break a relationship and that working on yourself is always a good idea.
Now I know I've included this as one of the steps to get your ex back, but it's also important to remember that working on yourself should first and foremost be for yourself. Think of it as doing yourself a favor.
When you allow yourself to grow, you also open new doors in your life, and these doors can even lead you to better opportunities, far greater than getting back with your ex. Even if you don't end up getting back together, at least you come out of it a better man. So take your time, feel everything, and trust the process.
Step #4: Get out and start meeting other people again.
You don't have to close your door to other people when recovering from a breakup. Maybe for a while, but not forever. I say this because I've been there and done that. We learn best from the experiences of others, and going out and meeting new people might teach you a thing or two about love and life.
As I said, time always has a way of teaching us what we want and don't want out of life. Perhaps being with other people can help cast a new light on old issues you had in your past relationship and help you make peace with them. Maybe meeting someone new can help you see a different side of yourself and a better one, I hope.
Step #5: Impress her from afar.
You don't have to try so hard for this one. When you are committed to becoming a better man for yourself, people will notice. Do you know that old nugget of wisdom that says, "You attract the company you keep"? Well, there is truth in that.
Your life can't rise any higher than the standards you set or the company you keep, and the healthier you are inside and out, the better you get at choosing the people that gets to stay in your life. The moment you start to radiate positivity, people will notice, and in no time, your ex will too.
Step #6: Give her space.
As I said, spending some time apart and giving each other space is important not just to recover from your breakup but also to buy you enough time to collect yourselves. It's natural to miss someone, but all breakups hurt, and wounds don't heal overnight.
Remember, you can't heal in the same environment that made you sick, so even when it's hard for you to be away from your ex, know that it's for the best.
Step #7: Approach her again when the time is right.
There will come a time when you'll feel better, and remembering all your memories together wouldn't feel like a stab in the heart. When that happens, that's how you know you've moved on.
Hopefully, you didn't block each other on social media, so you could at least know how she's doing.
After taking the time to heal and when you feel like she's better, perhaps you could try talking to her again and see where you now stand in each other's lives.
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When is the Right Time To Stop Pursuing Your Feelings For Her?
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but sometimes, things just don't work out the way we want them to. It sucks, but when the time comes for you to move on, you move on. No matter how much you love her or how hard you want to try again with her, when a woman is already showing signs she doesn't like you, you just got to take her up for it.
But hey, it could be a good thing, you know. You'll get a second chance at love. It's just the next time it will be with a new person.
1. She Can’t Trust You Anymore
Men will make a lot of stupid mistakes in their lives, and sometimes the mistake is just so bad that it's irreparable. A woman might give you a second chance, but getting her to trust you again may prove difficult, and you can't really blame her for it, can you?
When you've done everything you can to redeem yourself, but she just can't get past what you did, I'm sorry, but no matter how hard you try, it will never be the same again. Again, there's no love when there's no trust, and if that's the case, you two will be better off.
2. You’ve Become Two Different People
A lot can happen in your time apart. She'll meet new people and you will too. She'll learn something new about herself, and you would too. Perhaps she'll realize that she wants something different out of her life, and maybe you will too. That's not so bad. Life just happens sometimes. You moved on, and she did too.
3. She’s With Someone New
Obviously, you can't be with her anymore when she's already seeing someone new. Don't waste your time trying to make her want you again. Do you know that line from Bonnie Raitt's song that says, "I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't"?
That's pretty much it.
5 Best Quotes about Second Chances in Love
I can only assume that you're reading this blog because you're going through a breakup. The fact that you've made it to this part tells me that you're looking for a ray of hope. Well, then, here you go. Hopefully, these lift your spirits.
"A second chance doesn't mean you're in the clear. In many ways, it is the more difficult thing because a second chance means that you have to try harder. You must rise to the challenge without the blind optimism of ignorance." - Ling Ma
Ling Ma sure knew what she was talking about. Getting a second chance does not let you off the hook. But now that you know better, do better.
"While wounds can be inflicted easily upon those we love, it's often much more difficult to heal them. Yet the process of healing those wounds provided the richest experience of my life." - Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding (Novel Learning Series Book 2)
The mistakes we make have a way of teaching us important life lessons. Sure, getting over a breakup is tough, and yes, it might take a while before you can move on, but the time you spend moving on and learning from your mistake will make you wiser.
"A man deserves a second chance, but keep an eye on him." - John Wayne
I mean, John Wayne has a point. If somebody gave you a second chance, you better not mess it up again.
"Familiar like a forgotten song from long ago that takes you back to a moment the second you hear it. And you recognize who you were. Then. And now. And you have to figure out how to reconcile the two."- Katy Regnery, Playing for Love at Deep Haven
People change, and change can be a good thing if it has made you better. If your past has made you a better person today, the next best thing you could do is stop dwelling on it and focus on building a new and better life.
"That's the thing about life. You don't always get a second chance, and there are no guarantees. Love is the only thing that really matters." - Linda Becker
It's true. You don't always get a second chance. This is why you should at least try to get it right the first time. And not just in love. When fate opens a door for you, consider it a big deal and give it all you've got.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some more frequently asked questions to help with your dating woes.
Do a lot of girls believe in second chances in relationships?
Not everyone believes in second chances. To be honest, not everyone deserves a second chance. Ultimately, it all depends on how they look at it.
Is it really possible to make a girl like you again after rejecting you?
Of course. It's possible for a woman to see you in a new light and give you another chance. But as I said, you should also be smart enough to know whether or not pursuing a girl is still worth the shot.
Can you become friends with a woman even though she rejected you?
Not really. Sometimes it's more about her having a certain type. Being rejected does not mean something is wrong with you. It just means they're not ready for you yet.
Does rejection always mean there is something wrong with you?
It is possible. We can't be everyone's cup of tea, but that's okay. At least she's honest about it. I mean, would you rather have it if she leads you on? I, too, have been led on. Trust me. You wouldn't want to choose that option. When a woman rejects you, the best way to deal with it is to thank her for her time, move on with your life, and hope she doesn't reject you as a friend.
More Interesting Articles to Explore
Experienced or not, these articles can surely level up your dating game.
- Have you always been a fly on the wall? This article about how to attract any woman instantly might just be the confidence boost you need.
- Are you stuck wondering how to get that cute girl from work notice you? This guide will teach you how to ask a girl out and finally get a date.
- Not big on small talk? Do you always scramble for words whenever you talk to a hot chick? Check out this article where I teach you how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
I hope you enjoyed this guide about how to get a girl to like you again.
Now that you know how to get a girl to like you again, you never have to ask, "What do girls like?" ever again.
Remember, if you happen to cross paths with an amazing girl, do it right the first time, so you never have to wonder how to get her back. Now, go get that girl.