If you want to learn how to get over a girl, this guide is for you.
Our readers come to me for tips on moving on from a relationship, so you know you're in the right place to learn how to let go. Luckily, I'm the expert on the signs a girl doesn't like you, since I've been featured on sites like Her Norm and Best Life Online for my work about dating. Here, I'll teach you what to do to get over her quickly.
Signs It Might Be Time To Let Go
In relationships, most people go through stages. Some go through the awkward stage, where you know you feel deeply for each other, yet you're not comfortable being your weird self around your partner. Some go through the lull period, where you've been together for a few years and feel like the spark isn't there anymore.
It's normal to feel that way because of how long you've been together, but some couples move past that and choose to still be together despite the changes in their partnership.
For the unlucky ones, they have to go through the breakup stage. It's painful and miserable for both parties, especially when they deeply love each other. Sometimes, breaking up is the only mature thing to do when things don't line up, no matter how hard you try to compromise.
You may be asking, "Should I break up with my girlfriend?" And to that, we have some answers. In this list, you will learn the signs it's time to let go.
Sign #1: She doesn't mind if you don't spend time with her.
In any romantic relationship, it's important to have quality time together. For most people, it's what they look forward to at the end of a tiring day or week. Beach trips, movie dates, or even peaceful night strolls are some of the best ways to spend quality time with your significant other.
When you feel that she's not up to doing these things with you, it might be a sign that she's not craving your company anymore. At the beginning of the relationship, I bet you thought of multiple ways to extend your time together so that you could be with each other. Now, if you feel she doesn't care if you're there or not, it might be time to let go.
Sign #2: She doesn't make you feel good about yourself.
One of the most useful relationship advice I give is telling people to think about how they feel when they're with the person they love. Do they feel good? Do they feel valued? Do they feel like their opinions are just as important, even if they don't align?
Are they being acknowledged when they are expressing something that's bothering them? If you don't feel good about yourself when you're together, it's a clear sign you're not supposed to be together. If all you get are negative emotions from her, it's time to let go.
Sign #3: You don't see a future with her.
If you're a person who always plans for the future, you should be with a woman who's included in that vision. You would think that most people who get into relationships already have this one locked in. However, that's not always the case. Some find their partner's deeper values and beliefs only when they've been together for a while.
What if she wants to work in another country, yet you can't imagine leaving your hometown? What if she pictures herself in a home taking care of cats instead of kids, yet you've always imagined a big family? If your loved one believes in different things, you may be better off with a new person who shares your beliefs.
Sign #4: She won't stop talking about her past relationships.
A past relationship should only stay in the past. If you ask any relationship expert, they will tell you to put the past behind you and look towards the future. If your partner can't stop talking about her exes or, worse, comparing you to her ex-boyfriends, it's a sign that she doesn't respect you and your relationship. She doesn't think of you as the man who treats her better than the men she loved in the past.
Not only will that take a toll on your mental health and trigger your insecurities, but it will also hinder your connection to her from growing deeper. When you involve other people in your relationship, even if you're just talking about them, it will create distance in your relationship.
Sign #5: You can't trust her.
One of the signs of a failed relationship is your lack of trust. In dating or even married life, it will only work if you trust your partner completely. You have full faith in them. You have given them complete access to your life, secrets, thoughts, quirks, and habits, yet you trust them completely to keep private things private.
You trust that they will not use your weaknesses against you, and you believe in their genuine friendship. You should have a partner you can trust with your life. If you feel you can't trust them, it's time to start the healing process and end the relationship.
How to Get Over a Girl (a crush, someone you never dated, or someone you still love)
I know we've all been through the dreaded one-sided emotional train of distress - the unrequited love train. Social media may tell you that this is one of the most painful kinds of love there is, and in most cases, it's true. Most people have had their first heartbreak because of unrequited love. Often, they feel deeper toward a close friend and find out later that they don't feel the same way.
Once you start falling for a friend or a colleague, you're going to be clouded with emotion that you won't be able to spot the signs she's not into you. You will be blinded by your feelings and hope for a future relationship that you won't see how they feel about you. Before you get in too deep, we've got a few tips on getting over a girl.
#1: Find a new hobby.
When you devote your time and attention to other things, it makes the grieving process easier. If you find a new hobby, you will momentarily forget the grief of heartbreak. When you hike with your friends, take a pottery class, or even make DIY furniture at home, you will find peace in the focus you need to accomplish the activity.
A friend of mine shared his success story of moving on from unrequited love. He tagged along on one of his co-worker's badminton sessions and thought it would be fun to join in. Not only is he one of the best players in their group, but he also joined a few competitions and won.
His world opened up to many new friends and experiences, all because he tried something new.
#2: Seek closure.
When you talk to that person again, it might help if you gain closure. You want to know what they didn't like about you or why they didn't think you were a compatible match. It would help you gain clarity if you could hear the answer directly from your crush. It will hurt and it will be very difficult, but it might just be the thing to help you move on.
#3: Express it however you can.
When you have all these feelings bottled up inside, you will have a hard time moving on from them. You should have an outlet to rant about your emotions. Some people use journals to write about their experiences. Some write songs or poetry to express their pain.
Some like to talk about it on a podcast or make videos. If you feel like you need to scream, go ahead. Letting your feelings out will help you move on.
#4: Think of what you didn't like about them.
Like I said before, you may be blinded by your feelings when you like someone that much. You won't really see any of their flaws and imperfections if your eyes are clouded by emotion. Now, when trying to move on from them, it's best to think about the stuff you didn't like about them.
Did they take advantage of you? Did they talk down to servers? Did they throw trash on the street instead of the garbage can? It's hard to see those stuff when you're in love. But, during the healing process, it will help you move on if you open your eyes to the truth.
#5: Invest in your self-improvement.
Take yourself on your own Valentines' Day. Buy yourself the meal you want and watch the movie you've wanted to see. Don't skimp out on yourself. After all, you deserve it.
Also, get on an exercise regimen and stick to it for at least two weeks. You'll feel much better when you take the time to improve yourself. Loving yourself may seem simple, but you often overlook it. Before you invest in a new relationship, work on yourself first.
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Things You Should Never Do to Get Over Someone
Getting over a lost love is never easy. The tips we have here won't work for everyone. Most people try everything just to find something that works. During the healing process, you will discover the stuff that applies to you and the things you don't really want to do. It's different for everyone.
However, there are things that you should never do to get over someone. This applies to everybody. You have to avoid these things at all costs if you want to learn how to be a better man in the face of challenges. We will teach you a few tips on what not to do when moving on from somebody.
#1: Don't rush.
When you find out that she doesn't feel the same way, it's going to be painful. And it's going to take some time to heal from that. If you force yourself to feel positive emotions when you're not ready, you're going to fall back into the same painful spiral you were in. Let yourself understand your feelings and mend your broken heart at your own pace.
#2: Don't stalk them on social media.
I know it must be your first instinct to do online therapy and soak yourself in their social media profiles. But, trust me when I say it's not a good idea. This is the one thing you should avoid. You will only hurt yourself more when you eventually find out they're seeing someone else. It will only bring you negative thoughts and won't help you move on from them.
#3: Don't let your life revolve around the pain.
It's hard not to awaken to painful feelings, especially when you really love a person and they don't feel the same way. It will be necessary for you to let out your feelings because you need an outlet. However, you need to step out of that stage eventually.
Don't let your life revolve around the pain you've experienced. Once you're done with the bars and drinking, it's time to get up and move forward. Find something else that will make your life worth living.
#4: Don't make it something more than it is.
I once talked to a licensed therapist about moving on and breakups, and she gave me useful advice. She told me that people have a hard time moving on because they see things for more than what they are. This usually happens when the couple has been together for a long time.
You should look back at the relationship with a clear mind when moving on. Remind yourself of all the reasons your relationship ended. Don't keep thinking about all the good memories because you will only miss that person and end up calling them.
#5: Don't keep it all to yourself.
You will need a strong support system to carry you through in this painful time. It won't help if you keep it all to yourself. You need friends and family to surround you and help you overcome the pain.
Go see your family and spend some quality time with them. Ask your friends to join you in your new hobbies and find more activities to do together.
#6: Don't blame anyone.
You won't be able to move on if you blame your partner or yourself. You have to accept that sometimes, things don't work out, and that's not anyone's fault. Things unravel in a long-term relationship, and sometimes you can do nothing about it.
Use positive psychology tricks and set your mind to a single thought - this is no one's fault. It's just something you have to go through.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you have any more queries about how to get over a girl? We have a few frequently asked questions that may help answer them.
How long does it take to get over a girl?
There's no right answer to this question. Everyone has their own pace when moving on. Once you feel like your world isn't crashing down on you and you can stand a little stronger than yesterday, you know you're close to healing.
Why does losing a relationship hurt so much?
Losing a relationship hurts because you might have invested much of yourself into that connection. Love is a battlefield, after all. You won't survive unless you're scratched, even a little. Love also hurts because you might have pictured a different ending for you two, but you find out later that it's not what you wanted.
How do I completely forget a girl?
It's quite impossible to forget a person completely. You won't erase a girl from your mind because she was a part of your life for some time. She impacted your mind and heart, and it will be extremely difficult to forget her. The best thing you can do is to put her presence in a box and tuck it away in the past.
You don't need to forget her. You just need to find a way to live with the memories you shared and not completely fall apart.
Is it possible to let go of someone I cared about so much?
As hard as it is, it's possible. People do it all the time, even if it takes months or years. It will be difficult and painful. You might even slip up and call them when you're drunk. However, you will get through it. We're all built to fall and stand up again. You will eventually be able to move forward and put the past behind you.
More Great Love Tips
Are you interested in more? You may find a related article in this list to learn more about dating and relationships.
- Do you feel like you're always the one making an effort? Read this guide on how to make someone miss you, and let's see if the person you like values you for real.
- Attracting a woman may be difficult if you don't know what she wants. That's why this post on what women want in a man will be very useful for you.
- Do you want to learn how to flirt with a girl? This guide will teach you all the tips and tricks you need to know how to do it right.
- It's not easy to make a person love you, especially if you're not that confident yet. This post will teach you how to make her chase you and fall for you quickly.
Now, you know how to get over a girl the right way.
We have shown you all the signs a girl doesn't like you and the signs you'll know it's time to break up. The most important thing to know now is which tips will work for you. Moving on is one of the most difficult things you must go through, but that's part of life. Now, you know what to do and what not to do when getting over someone. You can even help your friends when they eventually go through the unfortunate experience of breaking up with someone.