When to say I love you for the first time may be one of the hardest decisions to make when it comes to relationships. You may have seen all the signs you are in love or know how to tell a girl you love her, but when is the right time?
Sites such as UpJourney and Outwit Trade have featured my works as a relationship expert and life coach. With my expertise, I am no stranger to the dilemma of when to profess your love to another person.
When To Say I Love You For The First Time
The only perfect time to say I love you for the first time is when you are ready and feel you are on the same page regarding your feelings. For some people, dropping the L word is no big deal; they can say it out loud easily, while others, mostly women, take their time before saying it as they consider it a relationship milestone.
Taking your time before declaring your loving feelings through these three words doesn't necessarily mean you don't love them. Reasons may vary, from past relationships, scared of getting hurt, or from the fear of rejection, to name a few.
If you already have an answer to the question 'am I in love with her?' and if you already know how to tell someone you love them, then it's time to look into when is the perfect time to say I love you to her.
Sign #1: When you suspect it's mutual.
Saying I love you is quite scary. And this is because of the fear of rejection or unrequited love. But if you sense that your actions out of true love are reciprocated, your words of admiration get positive responses from her, and the feeling is mutual, don't live in fear. She might just be waiting for you to say I love you first.
Sign #2: When you are ready to go exclusive.
Are you tired of the dating game and want to get more serious with your girl? If the answer is yes, and you don't want to date anyone else but her, then you are ready for the next step. Tell her you're not into games anymore and are prepared to be in a committed relationship.
Sign #3: You feel like it's bursting out of you.
If you just can't contain your strong feeling towards her, then say it out loud. Love is beautiful, and if you think it's time she knows your true feelings and how much you adore and want her in your life, look for cute ways to say I love you.
Step #4: You know your partner extremely well.
You've been together for some time, and you know each other so well that you're basically like an old couple. Even after seeing their flaws, you still accept and love them, then it's time to tell her these magic words.
Sign #5: You've both been vulnerable with each other.
Being vulnerable is not a weakness in a relationship but rather a way to be closer. It creates a safe space for you to be yourself and a feeling of belonging. If you're open to both the risks and possibilities of being vulnerable with each other, you establish a trusting, long-term relationship.
Sign #6: When you are sure that you'll stick with it when it gets tough.
Only say I love you when you are ready to stick with her through the good and the bad. If you're committed to making the relationship work even when faced with difficult situations, the time to say I love you is now.
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5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Saying "I love you."
Before diving in and telling her these magical words, remember that things may not always go as planned.
Tip #1: Let your date know.
This love thing can be quite complicated, especially when caught off guard. Make sure your intentions are clear before saying I love you. Talk about how special she is to you first and that she is someone you want to keep in your life. She'll tell you if she's not into it before you can say these three little words.
Tip #2: Test your compatibility.
Before dropping the L word, make sure you and your date are compatible. Take clues from your relationship status or level of intimacy. If you're comfortable showing affection towards one another and have many things in common, go for it. If you can't see her in your future, disagree on every small thing, or are just in it for fun, it's too soon to tell her you love her.
Tip #3: Be nice.
The saying actions speak louder than words may sound cliche, but your gestures are the reflection of your feelings and intentions, and they are some of the first things your date would notice. Don't just wait for the right moment to say I love you. Start things off by being a gentleman and treating your woman the way you'd treat someone you are in a romantic relationship with.
Tip #4: Don't expect a response immediately.
Not everyone will say I love you back just because you said it. Let her contemplate your words first, and don't force her to respond similarly to your statement. If she doesn't say it back for some time, then maybe she's not ready for a new relationship, and it's time to accept that your feelings are not mutual.
Tip #5: Don't respond on their behalf.
Don't put words in her mouth when they don't immediately respond. Give her time to think about it, and let her say how she feels about your statement. If you start responding on her behalf, you just might not get a response at all.
Frequently Asked Questions
Saying I love you can be scary, especially for the first time. Let these answered questions guide you.
How soon is too soon to say "I love you"?
When you are still in the getting-to-know stage of your relationship, don't just jump in and tell her you love her. Often people mistake the feeling of infatuation to love, and once you get the phrase " I love you, " it's hard to take them back. You don't want to ruin a potential love story by saying the words too soon.
What should I do if she doesn't say it back?
Don't panic just yet. There are reasons why she doesn't say it back just yet. This may be because you caught her off guard, or the moment is not right. But if you've waited for a fair amount of time and haven't heard the L word back from her, then it's a one of the signs she doesn't like you.
Is there ever a wrong time to say I love you?
A piece of relationship advice that one should take seriously is never to tell her you love her when you are drunk, having sex, or pressured by friends. Saying I love you requires some thinking, and those moments don't really support mental clarity.
How long should you wait before saying "I love you"?
Wait long enough that you know her well and have established a relationship that's more than casual friends. Make sure what you're feeling is real love, not just a crush or an infatuation.
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It's quite confusing to know when to say I love you for the first time. Keep in mind that while the risk of getting rejected is there, the possibility of establishing a relationship is, too.