A lot of guys find it hard to know how to tell a girl you love her.
When you and a girl (ideally your girlfriend) get along so well that you think to yourself, "Yep, this is the one"... It's time to tell her you love her.
And as long as you can learn how to get a girlfriend, you can learn how to tell a girl you love her.
Why is Knowing How To Tell A Girl You Love Her so important?
Knowing how to tell a girl you love her isn't just about saying and doing the right things...
…Because you should also be nearly certain the relationship is ready for the "L" word.
Think about it.
After 3 months, you'll probably have some strong feelings for her. But have you seen her at her worst? Have you been in a BIG argument yet? Probably not. At this point, you usually only seen the sweet and loveable side of her with the occasional rough day or two.
And while it wouldn't be the end of the world (but it'll feel pretty darn close), falling in love with a girl without enduring that can lead to heartbreak and a strain on your mental health.
How to Tell A Girl You Love Her
Realizing you're in love doesn't happen often. Because after all...
...Love takes time and more importantly, acceptance of everything about your partner... the good and the bad.
And because it's so rare, falling in love is one of the most euphoric feelings you'll experience in life...
But the word "Love" is not a word you should throw around just because you've been dating a girl for 6 months and your bedtime meetings are good but you've been ignoring the blatant red flags that this relationship isn't healthy for you (learn from my mistakes, guys!)
So take it easy and follow these steps to finally tell her you love her.
1. Talk To Her
Communication, communication, communication. It's THE most important aspect of a healthy relationship, fellas (besides attraction of course.)
That means sharing your feelings, thoughts, opinions, and fears with her is a must. I'll be the first to admit it's not easy, but a healthy relationship won't exist if you're constantly walking on eggshells and avoiding tough conversations.
We have an article on how to talk to girls, but here are some tips more geared toward the girl you know you're in love with:
Pro Tip 1. Compliment Her
Knowing how to compliment a girl is important if you want her to like you more. Be sincere with your compliments though, because if you're being disingenuous and giving her meaningless compliments, she'll see right through you.
Pro Tip 2. Say Sweet things to Her
You know you're in a good relationship when the two of you have your own way of speaking to each other when nobody else is around. Here are some more sweet things to say to a girl that will keep the relationship growing.
Pro Tip 3. Express Your Feelings and Needs
If she makes you happy, tell her. If she hurts your feelings, tell her. If she already knows how cute you think she is, tell her again.
Stand up for yourself, know who you are and what you need in a relationship and effectively communicate it in a non confrontational manner when necessary. Holding your tongue only builds resentment.
2. Know The Signs She Loves you
Before you unleash your love on this girl, there's one BIG thing you should ask yourself: "Does she love me?"
If you aren't 100% sure she'll tell you she loves you back, give it more time. It's entirely possible to rush into those words (I know I've done it) and expressing your love before she's made up her mind about how she feels about you can lead to devastating results.
So during the dating process, keep an eye out for these signs she loves you (and don't forget to follow the link for more!)
Sign 1. She Remembers Every Detail About You
If she keeps surprising you with things you enjoy and can name your favorite band, restaurant, movie, shoes, video game, and anything else you like, she's absolutely into you and probably can't wait to tell you how much she loves everything about you.
Sign 2. She Can't Get Enough of You
If she wants to hang out multiple times a week and initiates conversations frequently, keep an eye out for other signs! Things are looking good.
Sign 3. She Tells YOUR Friends How Much She Likes You
This is especially true if she tells them in private, but if she's boasting to the people who know you best about how awesome she thinks you are, she's ready to take your relationship to the next level.
Side Note: Keep Your Cool
Realizing a girl likes/loves you can be an overwhelmingly emotional experience and has caused many men to get too excited too quickly, scaring off potential long-term girlfriends. So if you notice any of these signs, REMAIN CALM and don't immediately tell her you love her.
3. Know Whether It's Love or Lust
Lust (also known as infatuation) is that feeling you get when you think you're in love but you're actually not.
It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling in love but really being in lust so here's a simple breakdown that helps distinguish the two:
You Might Be In Love If...
- You've made the conscious effort to put up with all of her baggage (we all have some!)
- You'd prefer NOT to have sex on occasion and just enjoy some quality time together.
- You motivate one another to be better people.
- You want to meet her friends and family.
- You're willing to make compromises and comfortable communicating your feelings to her (and listen to hers.)
You Might Be In Lust If...
- You're interested in having sex, but not having conversations.
- Alcohol is required for you to hang out. (Yeah, it lightens the mood, but a healthy relationship doesn't need alcohol on every date.)
- You find yourself wanting to leave after having sex.
- You don't communicate when she does something that hurts you.
- You hold back information about yourself because you're afraid she'll like you less.
This isn't a complete list by any means, but it's something to consider before you tell her you love her. Because if you tell her you love her only to find out the two of you didn't actually get along as well as you thought, you're in for an emotionally painful experience.
4. Make Sure the Moment is Right
Whatever you do, DON'T tell her you love her for the first time immediately before, during, or after sex!
During that time, your hormones are uncontrollable, you're "love drunk" (maybe even actually drunk), and let's face it... You're thinking with your little buddy downstairs and not with a rational mind. Plus... It's cheesy.
Other than that (and any overly-emotional experience really), pretty much any other place and time is perfect to tell a girl you love her.
There's no one-size-fits-all option and it's your relationship, so tell her when it works best for the two of you. Maybe tell her after she does that one, cute thing that always makes you smile.
You're the one who's head over heels for this girl so you know when the moment is right better than anyone.
5. Say The Words
There are millions of ways to tell a girl you love her for the first time. A simple "I love you" is enough, but it doesn't have to stop there.
Prepare a little speech or give some backstory and recall some of the memories you've made together. Telling a girl you love her is kind of like a mini-proposal in that it should be special and memorable.
The more personal you make it, the more memorable the experience. She'll tell all of her friends and never forget the moment.
Think back to all the times you looked at her and thought, "God, I love this girl!" The times she did something silly and embarrassing, the times she made you feel like a million bucks, the times you made her laugh until she cried, and the moment you knew 100% that this was the girl for you.
And just let it all out. You'll probably get interrupted with kisses anyhow.
6. Enjoy the Ride
Once you've both agreed on loving each other, it's time to shout it from the rooftops.
The first month or so after you say the words, she'll be stuck in your head most days, you'll want to spend as much time with her as possible, you'll get all mushy and lovey-dovey in public (even more in private), and you'll be completely content with life.
Love is a wave with highs and lows, but those first few months are when the wave is at its highest...
...So ride that baby for as long as possible. And enjoy every minute of it.
7. Know Cute Ways To Say I Love You
Once you're officially in love, you don't have to stick to those three little words to tell her you love her. We have plenty of cute ways to say I love you but here are a few to get you started:
"I'd go to the stars and back for you."
In the future, we might have to visit other stars to find habitable planets, but for now, it's an effective way to tell a girl you love her so much you'd do almost anything for her.
"You feel like home."
When being with her makes you feel safe and comfortable, this one is perfect.
"I wish we didn't have to spend so long apart. I can't stop thinking about you."
Just telling her you miss her is a completely acceptable way to tell her you love her.
Why You Should Keep Telling Her You Love Her
In 2014, my dad passed away. I remember the last words I said to him as he was being wheeled into an ambulance: "I'll see you later."
And that was the last time I saw him alive.
Life is unpredictable and our next moment could always be our last. He knew I loved him, but I still wish I could have told him one more time.
But could you imagine if we'd been in an argument at the time and the last thing I said to him was something mean and hateful? I'd probably still be dealing with the guilt.
The same applies to romantic relationships...
No matter how tough a relationship gets and how many arguments you get into, even if you're still mad at her after the fact, you still love her and you should absolutely let her know.
Never go to bed angry at each other... And always make sure the last thing you say to her before parting ways or going to sleep is "I love you."
More Steps On How To Get The Girl
If you haven't made it to the "I love you" stage, check out these other great articles:
- You can't sit in silence. You have to know what to say to a girl to get her to like you.
- Still haven't spent time with her? Learn how to ask a girl out!
- And always be sure to keep an eye out for signs she wants you to chase her.
See? Knowing how to tell a girl you love her isn't that hard.
And while love is a complicated emotion, it's still one of the most powerful feelings you'll ever experience and you should never run from it.
Hopefully now you're a little more prepared to face it head on.