In this article, I'll teach you how to start a conversation with your crush.
As a dating expert published on sites like Her Norm and UpJourney, I get it. Breaking the ice and starting a meaningful conversation with the person you like can get overwhelming, which is why I've written many articles helping men how to ask a girl for a date, from romantic pick-up lines to how to text your crush.
If you're wondering how to ask a girl to go out for a date, this article teaches you how to start a conversation with your crush and more.
Ultimate Guide on How To Start a Conversation With Your Crush Without Being Awkward
Knowing how to start a conversation is an important thing not just in dating but also in your everyday social life. I mean, how do you expect to get flirty with your crush if you just keep making eye contact? In this ultimate guide, I'm teaching you how to make a great conversation beyond small talk.
Step #1: Introduce yourself to her
Whether it's through social media, a text message, or real life, the first step to learning how to talk to your crush is to introduce yourself. Start with a simple "hi" or "hello," then follow through by letting her know where you met or saw him.
Say your crush's name is Kat, and you met her through a mutual friend. A good introduction would sound like, "Hey, Kat. My name is Matt. We haven't been officially introduced, but you were at Robert's party last weekend, and I would love to get to know you."
If you're introducing yourself through social media or a text message, that should be enough. All you have to do now is to wait for her reply patiently. If you're doing it in real life, be sure to display open body language, act confident, maintain eye contact, and flash a charming smile.
Step #2: Start with a question
Now that you're done with the meet-cute part, the next step is to ask her a question, and you might want to prepare 3 to 5 questions or conversation starters for this part. The purpose of asking a question is to establish a connection and build trust through self-disclosure. You see, self-disclosure or the act of sharing something about yourself has been proven to accelerate and strengthen attraction between two people.
When you're done introducing yourself, you can follow through with a "how are you?" or ask her a relevant question such as, "so how long have you known Robert?". That's always a good conversation starter.
You can even turn to her social media to get an idea of a good question to ask. Maybe she once lived in New York. I'm sure she'd love to tell you about her stay there. A good follow-up question could be, "So what's the craziest thing that has ever happened to you while in New York" or "what's your favorite thing to do there?"
Whatever your question is, make sure that it will let her talk about herself. And make sure to relate to her answers and share something about yourself too.
Step #3: Smile and make a good eye contact
Again, if you're meeting her in real life, it's always a good idea to show open body language, a confident smile, and great eye contact. If you're jittery about meeting her and talking to her, you might want to practice a few times in front of the mirror or with an experienced friend so you can get insights on what's working and what's not with how you're presenting yourself.
Step #4: Find common ground to start your conversation
Don't know how to keep a conversation going with a girl?
Beyond flirty texts and interesting topics, finding common ground or common interest is an important thing when talking to your crush. This should keep your conversation going and help strengthen your bond. Perhaps you both watch the same TV show or enjoy the same hobby. Maybe you're both coffee connoisseurs or love discovering new foods.
Step #5: Show genuine interest
Sometimes, people tend to get carried away and focus too much on impressing the person they like that they forget to listen to what they have to say. If you want a meaningful conversation with the girl you like, the rule of thumb is to listen to understand, not respond.
That means that instead of thinking about what you want to say while the other person is talking, really listen to them.
Step #6: Be confident
Nothing is more attractive than a confident man, so when you've finally summed up the courage to talk to your crush, make sure you're not sweating or shaking doing it.
It's also important to display confident body language. When talking to your crush, keep your chin and head up. One easy way to practice is to pretend that there's a string holding the crown of your head up.
A good posture also goes a long way. Standing up straight makes you look confident, powerful, and poised.
It's also important to keep your hands out of your pockets so they're always visible and to plant your feet in an open, wide stance. Hiding your hands in your pocket sends a message that you're uncomfortable, and standing with your feet too close together can make you appear less confident.
Step #7: Make her feel comfortable talking with you
There are many ways to make a girl feel comfortable talking to you.
One way is to compliment her on things she's chosen, such as her dress or how she wears her hair. Avoid compliments that are objectifying, such as comments about her body.
Another way to make her feel comfortable is to respect her boundaries. Make sure you're not taking too much of her personal space by sitting too close or being too touchy.
Lastly, you can use humor to ease the tension between you two. If you can make her laugh, you're halfway there.
Step #8: Invite her to something casually
When all is said and done, the last thing you need to do is to invite her out on a date. It doesn't have to be a major date. It can be a casual date over coffee or an afternoon walk in the park. A good invitation would sound like, "Hey. There's a nice café I'd love to go to, and I was wondering if you could come with me."
The most important thing to remember is not to make it sound like she doesn't have a choice or is being pressured to go out with you. That can turn off any girl quickly.
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Things To Consider Before Approaching a Girl You Like
You are more likely to get a date if you can avoid doing these unattractive things guys don't know they do.
Consideration #1: Look for Go Signals
Before you worry about coming up with interesting conversation topics, you must know there is a right and wrong time to approach a girl. You are more likely to win a date and not get ignored when you know how to time your approach correctly.
One green flag is if your noticed her sitting or standing while looking relaxed. If she's in a positive mood and displays open body language, she is more likely to engage in a conversation with you.
If you notice her sending several glances or smiles along your way, that's another green flag. If that's the case, she's probably already interested in you and just waiting for you to approach her.
However, if a girl looks upset or preoccupied, it's best not to approach her. If she's having a bad day or caught up with something, she will not respond positively to getting hit on by a stranger.
Consideration #2: Find Out If She's Single
If you don't want to humiliate yourself and get rejected, do some research and find out whether or not the girl you like is single. Obviously, you're more likely to get a date if she's not already committed to someone else. Besides, you don't want to ruin your dating profile by dating an already committed woman. You can consult your mutual friend or turn to her social media for some references.
Consideration #3: Check Yourself
I only added this to the list because some men don't know how to manage their expectations and tend to get all riled up when a girl rejects them.
Dating is a trial and error kind of thing. Just the simple act of approaching a girl you like doesn't guarantee positive results, which is why you need to check yourself.
Ask yourself, are you prepared for any outcome- good or bad? What's the right way to respond when a girl rejects you? Am I emotionally ready to talk to my crush? Gentlemen, "manners maketh man", and how you handle rejection will say a lot about you.
Consideration #4: Know How to Physically Approach Her
Again, establishing trust is important when approaching a girl you just met. Knowing the best way to approach her physically will go a long way.
Generally, women are more protective of their personal spaces when meeting someone for the first time. Their guard is also higher when surrounded by strangers, so approaching a woman from behind or the front is not a good idea. For them, this feels apprehensive and intimidating.
What you can do instead is to slowly approach a girl from the side angle. Doing so lets her see you coming her way and allows her to prepare herself for your presence.
10 Pick-up Lines To Say To Your Crush For The First Time (Effectively Get Their Attention)
1. I'm writing an article about the wonders of the world, and I'd like to interview you.
Of course, she's one of the wonders of the world. Or should I say, your world? I mean, you can't even figure out how to talk to her. Just kidding! But seriously, this pick-up line is one way to flatter her.
2. If you were a steak, you'd be rare AND well done.
There is no greater compliment than being told you're one of a kind and perfect in every way. This is a great pick-up line to use during a romantic dinner date.
3. Do you have a map? I just looked at you and forgot where I was.
Only a girl so stunning will make you forget where you were. This is a great pick-up line to use if you're approaching a girl who's a complete stranger.
4. Hi, I was about to get a coffee/tea, and something tells me you'd like one, too.
This is the more laid-back equivalent of "Can I buy you a drink?" when meeting a girl in the bar. If you happen to meet a beautiful woman during the day in one of your favorite coffee shops, this pick-up line might just get you a date or her phone number.
5. My fortune cookie told me to be more direct. And I'd love to have dinner with you.
We have all taken advice from a fortune cookie, so you might as well try your luck by making up something that a fortune cookie told you to do. Just try to appear friendly and less creepy.
6. Seeing you just reminded me to make this day count. Can I buy you a drink?
Seize the day, am I right? And what better way to carpe diem your dating life than offering a girl a drink or two? Talking to your crush is so much better with booze. Just make sure you can handle your liquor.
7. Your Wi-Fi signals are really strong. I've never felt so connected to anyone before.
This pick-up line might work better once you're done introducing yourself and after a few batches of questions. This is even perfect if you actually share a lot of common interests.
8. So other than being my walking-talking mood booster, what do you do?
This is a great segue before you actually ask her about her hobbies and what's keeping her busy. It's cute and doesn't sound like a pick-up line because of the question in the end.
9. Do you have an extra parachute? 'Coz I'm falling for you
Another great way to flatter your date. Although, you might want to reserve this for your fourth or fifth date. You don't want to scare a girl away by confessing your love too early.
10. I hope you're planning to stay. I don't want you to fly back to heaven without me.
Again, you don't want to sound too clingy too soon, so you might want to reserve using this pick-up line on later dates.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some more frequently asked questions to give you extra pointers when talking to your crush.
What are some topics to talk about with your crush to keep the conversation going?
People love talking about themselves so just ask her about anything that would allow her to talk about herself. If she posts a lot of pictures of her travels, you can ask her about her favorite destination. Bringing up her hobbies and interests is also one way to keep her talking.
Is it okay to ask your crush for a date even if you haven't talked to her personally?
I would not recommend inviting your crush to a date when you haven't talked to her personally yet. You are more likely to get a date with her when she's already comfortable around you, which is why establishing trust and connection is important.
What are the best gifts for my crush on our first day?
Giving her flowers is always the safest and sweetest act of gesture when meeting a girl for the first time. Giving her an expensive gift may look too clingy or put a lot of pressure on her.
How can I talk to my crush if she seems to be an introvert?
If your crush is an introvert, you might want to extend your patience. If she's not naturally comfortable meeting people face to face, sending her a text message should be enough. She might take a while to reply, but if she likes you, she will.
More Tips on How to Get The Girl
Here are more tips to help you get the girl of your dreams and win her heart.
- Getting to first base can be pretty hard if you've never dated. This article will teach you how to kiss a girl when you do get there.
- Some guys are just born lucky, and some just seem to repel women. This article will teach you how to attract any woman instantly.
- Can't tell whether or not the girl you like likes you back? This article breaks down all the signs she's into you and teaches you how to know if your crush likes you.
Now that you know how to start a conversation with your crush and how to ask a girl to go out with you, it should be easier for you to go out there and practice your new and improved dating game.
Knowing how to start a conversation with your crush is more than just having a few good conversation starters or conversation openers. It takes confidence, a good ear, and genuine interest.