Do you think you have a clingy girlfriend? Are you looking for ways how to stop her needy behavior? You've come to the right place!
Before I became a dating coach, I experienced a lot under an overly attached girlfriend. It was after moving on from her that I decided to become better at understanding women. So, I took the lessons I learned and used them to help others! Some of the advice I've learned has been published on Her Norm and Best Life Online. Today, we'll share ways to spot the signs of a clingy girlfriend and what to do about it.
What is a Clingy Girlfriend?
A clingy girlfriend is someone who is always dependent on you. She wants all your attention and does not give you enough personal space. A clingy partner wants your world revolves around them.
They exhibit signs of possessiveness. You may ask, isn't that what women really want? In a healthy relationship, boundaries are respected. A clingy person tends to overstep these boundaries.
Clingy vs Needy - Is there a difference?
A clingy girlfriend likes to be physically connected with her partner. Holding hands puts your arm over their shoulder; they want to cuddle and snuggle. On the other hand, a needy girlfriend is someone dependent on their partner. Like they need you to function. They ask for reaffirmation before they do anything. It might seem that they lost their capability to act on something alone.
Signs Your Girl is Being Too Over Possessive
You might think that being possessive is one of the signs of attraction. Yes, it is, but you must watch out for signs that your woman is too possessive. This behavior can lead to a toxic relationship that will not end well.
Sign #1: She's contacting you all day long and doesn't gives you space
Understandably, your partner will contact you, especially if you're not together. She probably thinks about you and misses you, so she sent you a text. That is sweet. But she's possessive if she demands you to text her all day, or gets frustrated if she doesn't get an immediate response from you.
Sign #2: She always wants to join your hangout sessions with friends
Your world does not revolve around her. If she doesn't let you go out with your friends alone, she has trust issues or is possessive. Both of you must have your own circle of friends and are allowed to hang out with them every once in a while - and no one, not even her, gets to decide otherwise.
Sign #3: She drops everything just to spend time with you
It must be sweet to think she will drop everything just to spend time with you! But, be wary. Healthy adult relationships are about prioritization. You cannot just drop everything for a simple reason such as hanging out with you. If she ignores her obligations just to be with you, it's a sign that the attachment she has to you may be unhealthy.
Sign #4: Her social media is all about you and your relationship
Social media is a good way to show people and friends the things happening in your life. If you're happy in your relationship, sometimes, you can't help but post it on your social page! However, it is unhealthy if her social media is all about you and your relationship. They need a reaffirmation of their relationship with other people to feel secure, even when you're right there - and that can be an unhealthy coping mechanism.
Sign #5: She won't do things without checking up on you
This is one sign that you have a needy girlfriend. She has become dependent on you if she can't do things without checking up on you. It could be cute in a new relationship, but it can be annoying and even destructive if it continues.
Sign #6: She's extremely jealous
Constantly checking your phone, limiting your time with your friends, and not letting you talk with others - if she does any of these things, it's a bad sign. An extremely jealous girlfriend like that can only become one thing: a toxic partner. Don't let her jealousy get in the way of other important things in your life.
Sign #7: She's being too possessive
She wants all of you to herself. For some guys, that's the dream - but taken too far, it can be suffocating. If she doesn't let you have any other (friendly) relationships to yourself, she may be treating you more as a toy than as a boyfriend.
Sign #8: She always agrees with what you say
This could be a sign of an anxious attachment style. They fear you might leave them, so they tend to always agree with what you say to avoid disagreement. Relationships are supported by honesty, so her choosing her words too carefully will leave things one-sided.
Sign #9: She wants your life to revolve around her
She is extremely possessive if she wants to be your world and the only thing in it. She cannot accept that you have a life outside your relationship, and wants to control you so that she's the only thing you need. Avoid this at all costs.
Sign #10: She keeps on wanting to meet your parents
For them, meeting your parents is like the key to sealing the deal. Introducing them to your parents is like an invitation to become a family member of yours. However, if she's too insistent, she may be pushing for the next stage in your relationship too quickly.
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What Makes a Girl Too Needy?
A woman may become needy due to a variety of reasons. It could be trauma from their past relationship, or they have unsolved insecurities. They need constant reassurance, and become dependent on their partners. Regardless of the reason, now they've become extremely dependent on their partner... even if that dependence becomes damaging to the relationship.
Reason #1: Bad experience from previous relationships
If she experienced abandonment from a past relationship, she would do anything for it not to happen again. And that means she will cling and become overly attached to you, out of fear that you will push her away.
Reason #2: Insecurities
A woman with insecurities will need constant validation and reassurance from their partner. That is their way of checking if they're enough for you. And even if you shower her with reassurance, she might not lose that feeling of insecurity.
Reason #3: Fear of rejection
Rejection often leads to abandonment. If they do something you dislike, they fear it could be a reason to leave them. This often roots from an unpleasant experience in the past, but could be born out of simply never wanting that to happen in the first place.
Reason #4: She is naturally clingy
Then, there's the fact that some women are naturally clingy. That's just how they are. A little bit of clinginess can enhance a relationship... but sometimes, it can do just the opposite.
Reason #5: You are too busy for her
Sometimes, it is also the boyfriend's fault. If you don't spend enough time with your girl, expect her to crave your attention. Something that isn't being given has to be sought.
Reason #6: High expectations
When the relationship is new, guys spend more time with their girls, exploring things and getting to know them better. When she gets used to this amount of attention, it can lead to high expectations. As time passes by, you do not spend that much time together, now that you're more familiar with each other. And she will ask for the same amount of attention you used to give her.
Reason #7: She suspects you of infidelity
Is he cheating? This could be one of the questions at the top of her head, which bothers her. Find out more about it here. If this is the case, all you need is open communication and assure her that there's no one else.
How Do You Deal When Your Girl is Being Overly Attached?
Let's admit, an overly attached girlfriend is annoying. It makes you feel claustrophobic and makes you constantly look over your shoulder. It can also lead to an unhappy and toxic relationship. We'll tell you how to stop this behavior.
Step #1: Set a healthy boundary between the both of you
Healthy relationships last because they respect each other's boundaries. Neither of you has to get under the other's skin all the time. Make sure that you set boundaries and agree to keep them.
Step #2: Communicate with her and tell her how you feel about her behavior
Communication is the key to working out your issues. Their needy behavior is one of the things to talk about with a girl that every guy should know about. If this is an issue for you, you have to tell her about it so she knows how it affects you.
Step #3: Evaluate your comfort level about her clinginess
Determine which parts of her behavior you're okay with, as well as the ones she needs to stop or work on. If the behavior isn't too distracting, it can harmlessly sail by - because it's a way for her to express her affection for you.
Step #4: Spend some quality time with her and make her feel her worth
Some women become needy because you don't give them enough attention. The solution is, every once in a while, to surprise them with some attention. Let them feel like they're worth your attention.
Step #5: Encourage her to seek some professional help
If her behavior is affecting you and her mentally and emotionally, it is best to seek proper help. Unresolved issues will continue to torment both of you, and the best way to deal with them is by asking for professional attention.
Step #6: Be patient
Try to put yourself in her shoes. Maybe she experienced rejection in the past and is scared to lose you. That's why you have to love her, understand her, and be patient with her.
Step #7: Know when its time to let go
If you both have tried everything to make it work but it just can't, then it's time to let go. There's no reason to stay together and get in each others' hair. End it before any more damage can be done. You can learn more from this site if you don't know how to break up with someone.
How To Stop Being Needy in a Relationship?
Don't worry if you think you are being needy in your relationship; it's not the end. There are ways how to divert your energy to more positive things. We'll tell you how to stop being needy in a relationship.
Take some time to focus on yourself.
Use the time you're not with your partner to explore and discover new things. Make a list of hobbies you've never done before and try one of them. This will distract you from focusing too much on your partner and relationship.
Spend some time with family and friends.
Your partner is not the only one who can give you love. Don't forget that your friends and family can give you the affection and attention you need. They're just one call away!
Stop being too jealous.
A relationship is built on trust. If you are too jealous, then where does trust comes into play? Don't waste your energy on jealousy because it will drain you. Just enjoy your relationship without looking at it with jealous eyes.
Build your self-esteem.
Go to the gym or update your wardrobe! Try new things and expand your circle to make new friends. Become more independent and know that you are your person. All of these things will help you feel less insecure.
Address your personal issues.
If you have personal issues from the past, you have to address them. If they remain unresolved, you will continue projecting these feelings onto your partner. So, even if it's difficult, you have to face it eventually.
Don't rely on your partner for everything.
Remember that you were a capable person even before you met your partner. You have your own mind, will, and personality. In a relationship, the two parties should be equal. And though you are together, you are still separate individuals.
Frequently Asked Questions
After reading all this, you must still have more questions to ask. Good thing we're ready to answer them for you!
Are clingy partners manipulative?
Yes, they can be. Though not all clingy partners are manipulative, it can be a serious red flag if they are. The way they keep you to themselves and affect your routine is a type of manipulation, so take notice of this early.
Is being clingy bad?
Generally, yes. You have to give room for your partner to breathe and become himself in your relationship. Being physically close all the time can be annoying and suffocating. It doesn't give enough space for other people to approach you as a couple, either.
Are girls more clingy than guys?
Yes, women are more emotional than guys, so they need more attention and physical affection. That's why there are more clingy girlfriends than boyfriends.
Should I be annoyed if my girlfriend seeks too much attention from me?
No, getting annoyed shouldn't be your first reaction. You should first try to demonstrate understanding and patience. Learn why she needs so much attention, and talk to her about it. Try to find a solution so both of you can be happy and satisfied.
More Interesting Articles To Explore
Now that you know how to spot a clingy girlfriend, check out these articles to help you with your relationship.
- If your girlfriend is the opposite of clingy, know what makes her think about you.
- Know how to define flirting, so you don't miss the cues she is giving you.
- Understand relationship anarchy and find out if it's for you.
After reading this article, you've learned how to spot a clingy girlfriend. Remember, don't run away from her. Talk about it and have open communication with her. Then, find the reason why she's like that, and work together with her. Use the advice from this article to help you stop clingy behavior, and use it to have a happy relationship.