Funny would you rather questions are a blast to ask.
They can turn any conversation into a hilarious and ridiculous exchange. They’re questions to ask when you’re sitting around a table with friends, one on one with a girl you like, or bored at school, in between classes. Traditionally, they’re questions with two different choices, both equally challenging to decide on.
Now: I’ve played the game two ways:
The first, you can’t change anything. What you answer is what you get and you can’t get surgery or an exterminator or do any sort of action to change the outcome of your answer or to fix what you decide on. Nothing can change.
The second, you can ask questions before you decide. The question master makes up the rules. Check out Scott Aukerman’s podcast, Comedy Bang Bang! for an idea of how the rules work. It’s a fun way to play if you have a creative and quick-witted mind.
Of course, you don’t have to stick to these methods and can make as many changes as you want!
With this list, we’ll be sticking with funny questions to ask while playing Would You Rather. I’ve separated the list into sections to make it more accessible. Feel free to skip around or read it all the way through. You’re bound to find a few funny would you rather questions to bring about a silly time.
And since you want to be funny, we have a list of funny conversation starters that may help but since most of you are here for funny would you rather questions, here are our top 13 funny would you rather conversation starters to get things moving in the right direction.
Here are the 13 best funny would you rather conversation starters:
1. Would you rather have to announce to everyone around you whenever you have to fart or pee your pants daily?
I mean, you already don’t announce your farts?
2. Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?
The classic Reddit question. Lots of variations too.
3. Would you rather be a tree or have to live in a tree for the rest of your life?
Fun fact: Aspen trees aren’t individual trees. An Aspen grove is actually one living organism.
4. You’re in a crowded room, would you rather fart loudly and everyone laughs at you, or be the only one laughing obnoxiously when someone else farts?
Farts are hilarious and nobody can claim otherwise.
5. Would you rather begin every sentence with “Hey idiot” or end every sentence with “…Ha ha, I was just kidding.”
Who needs meaningful relationships anyway?
6. Would you rather live one life that lasts 1,000 years or live 10 lives that last 100 years each?
7. Would you rather be without elbows or be without knees?
Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Why didn’t they include elbows in that song? They’re just as important.
8. Would you rather fart really loud or poop your pants silently?
Silent but deadly.
9. Would you rather have diarrhea every day for the next 3 months or be constipated every day for the next 3 months?
Drink lots of water!
10. Would you rather use eye drops made of vinegar or toilet paper made from sandpaper?
Half water half vinegar solutions make a great bathroom cleaner.
11. Would you rather be a clown who distracts the bull or the cowboy who rides the bull?
12. Would you rather have to go to the bathroom in a giant litter box in your house or anywhere you want, but only outside?
According to my vet, if you feed your cats higher quality cat food, they’ll go to the restroom less, saving you money!
13. Would you rather have 500 tarantulas crawling in your house or 1000 crickets jumping around your room?
Crickets can be used as an alarm system because they stop chirping when someone comes near. Tarantulas have a defense mechanism where they use their hind legs to rub the hair off their thorax, which can embed themselves into the skin or eyes of their attacker, causing irritation.
The best of the best. These would you rather questions are hard to answer, but are guaranteed to make people smile.
Here are our 8 best funny would you rather questions:
14. Would you rather have your breath smell like a bad fart or have your laugh sound like a fart?
Hahahaha! Excuse me.
15. Would you rather have bad breath or smelly feet?
16. Would you rather go about your normal day naked or fall asleep for a year?
This is a tough one for me because they both sound wonderful.
17. Would you rather always take a cold shower or sleep an hour less than you need to be fully rested?
Sleep is for the weak and hot showers dry your skin out.
18. Would you rather always wear earmuffs or a nose plug?
Avoid unpleasant sounds, or unpleasant smells?
19. Would you rather have a Texas accent and live in New York or a New York accent and live in Texas?
In 1997 the ratio of New Yorkers bitten by rats to the number bitten by other New Yorkers was 1:7.
20. Would you rather marry a vain person or a person with poor image?
I look so good, it makes me sad because nobody can compare.
21. Would you rather have a freakishly huge smile or a freakishly small nose?
Janie’s got a gun and it’s because she was tormented for her freakishly small nose.
You have some questions to ask a girl in your mental Rolodex and you’ve asked all the funny questions to ask a girl that you can think of and the conversation has turned to would you rather questions.
Here are 14 funny would you rather questions to ask a girl:
22. Would you rather eat the same meal for the rest of your life or never use Instagram again?
What’s the point of having an Instagram if all of your pictures are the same?
23. Would you rather be told to stop being so sensitive every day or be asked if you are PMSing every day?
Irritable Male Syndrome apparently exists but not for the reasons you might think.
24. Would you rather wear a pushup bra all day long, every day or stiletto heels all day long, every day?
I don’t know enough about pushup bras to give an honest answer. I’ve worn heels for 5 minutes once though and they’re terrible.
25. Would you rather make love with the lights off or with the lights on?
26. Would you rather have to sneeze but not be able to or have something stuck in your eye for an entire year?
I’ve had something in my eye for the past three days and I’m losing my mind.
27. Would you never have painful cramps again or never have to shave again?
Cramps are more than tummy rumbles, fellas.
28. Would you rather give up shopping for six months or give up emoji for six months?
That means no trips to Sephora or Lush.
29. Would you rather have to get up at dawn or stay up 3 AM every day?
Party all night or start your day off right?
30. Would you rather be able to stop time or fly?
And what would you do with it?
31. Would you rather give up your computer or your pet?
This one hits close to home considering I want to be a traveling freelance writer but I have two cats.
32. Would you rather be a deep-sea diver or an astronaut?
33. Would you rather publish your diary or make a movie on your most embarrassing moment?
Which can I make the most money from?
34. Would you rather be a giant hamster or a tiny rhino?
As a giant hamster, you could live in the Sky Tubes at Chuck E. Cheese’s. As a tiny rhino, you’d be adorable.
35. Would you rather meet The Red Hot Chili Peppers or Justin Timberlake?
And there ain’t no woman that could take your spot, my love. (Except California).
Maybe you’re looking for would you rather questions for couples because you’ve noticed your conversations with your girlfriend have gotten monotonous.
Here are 6 funny would you rather questions for couples:
36. Would you rather have a dragon or be a dragon?
Who doesn’t want to be the Mother of Dragons? Then again, who doesn’t want to be a dragon?
37. Would you rather have cookies or have French fries?
Sweets or starches?
38. Would you rather have one wish granted today or three wishes granted in 10 years?
Your magic 8 ball holds the answer to this question.
39. Would you rather wake up with a different face but same gender or different gender but same face?
This sounds confusing for everyone involved.
40. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator with an old lady and her 3 wet dogs or 3 fat men with bad breath?
Everything has to go to the bathroom at some point.
41. Would you rather have your hand stuck in a jar or your head stuck in a bucket?
Nothing like some classic slapstick.
When you want to get to know someone, you ask get to know you questions! They’re great for finding out more about the person you’re talking to and our list of funny get to know you questions will help you achieve this with an air of hilarity.
Here are 12 funny would you rather questions to get to know someone:
42. Would you rather give up alcohol for a year or give up your smartphone for a month?
Having trouble sleeping? Don’t bring your phone to bed.
43. Would you rather be super fast or super strong?
The Flash or The Incredible Hulk?
44. Would you rather be the smartest kid in school or the most popular kid in school?
Bookworm or social butterfly?
45. Would you rather be a police officer or be a firefighter?
46. Would you rather be rich and ugly, or Poor and good-looking?
Money isn’t everything unless you’re poor.
47. Would you rather meet an alien visitor or travel to outer space?
Some say that if an alien race was advanced enough to visit us, there’s a pretty good chance we wouldn’t even be able to comprehend what was happening if they decided to exterminate us. We’d be the forest animals and they’d be the loggers.
48. Would you rather only be able to whisper or only be able to shout?
Sound is just things vibrating at different frequencies. Here’s an impressive example.
49. Would you rather be the sand castle or the wave?
The largest recorded wave was 100 feet high.
50. Would you rather get even or get over it?
51. Would you rather give bad advice or take bad advice?
You can’t really win either way.
52. Would you rather live without music or live without T.V.?
No more Game of Thrones or no more Nickelback?
53. Would you rather be super strong or change into animals?
You remember Animorphs, right?
Not every question has to have a dirty side to be funny. In fact, a lot of situations call for good, clean would you rather questions.
Whether it’s church, the office, or the girlfriend’s family, there are times you need to be both clean and funny.
Use a few of these to get a good laugh without any fear of offending someone.
Here are 17 clean, funny would you rather questions:
54. Would you rather be a very pink rabbit or a pink horse?
The cute choice starts it and the color sells it.
55. Would you rather have only two long yellow front teeth like a beaver or no teeth at all?
There’s a lot you can do with two teeth, but would you even want to?
56. Would you rather have no elbows or no knees?
Give both a little practice and see just how awkward you become.
57. Would you rather go a month without internet or go a month without bathing?
Just how much do they love Facebooking?
58. Would you rather look like a skunk but smell like vanilla or smell like a skunk and be very attractive?
I mean, skunks aren’t that ugly, are they?
59. Would you rather live a few yards away from a busy railroad track or live in a house with a baby that never ever stops crying?
If you’re talking to parents, this is a seriously tough question.
60. Would you rather never eat candy again or never drink soda again?
A battle over everyone’s favorite kind of sugar rush.
61. Would you rather have an awesome talent and never get recognized for it or become famous for doing something stupid?
Give everyone to show off their talents they think should have made them famous.
62. Would you rather have bananas for fingers or bananas for toes?
An absurd question, but the mental image will get a great laugh.
63. Would you rather have the power to put people in awkward situations, or remove yourself from awkward situations?
Who hasn’t wanted one or the other at some point?
64. Would you rather there be a ding sound every time you wink or have a cartoonish gun sound go off when you make a finger gun?
A chance to be a little cartoony the rest of the evening with some fun sound effects.
65. Would you rather sound like Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck for the rest of your life?
Get your impressions ready for this one.
66. Would you rather be Batman or Sherlock Holmes when solving a case?
Everyone would want to be both, but they have to choose!
67. Would you rather be exceptionally smart, but only able to communicate with people under 13, or very dumb, but able to communicate with everybody?
Have a blast thinking of the super advanced topics you’d discuss with pre-teens.
68. Would you rather always smile at the end of a sentence no matter what is is, or always burp before every sentence?
The fun comes from imagining just how awkward either would be in real life.
69. Would you rather be the dog with a long stick in his mouth trying to walk thru a narrow door? Or the cat that jumps for a ledge falls miserably short?
A great chance to pull out a few YouTube videos for this one.
70. Would you rather teleport randomly once a year to literally anywhere on the planet or stuck in 6 hour traffic once a year on a random day?
Think of the crazy adventures of the former and the sheer boredom of the latter.
When you want to take a social situation to the next level of insanity, it’s hard to beat these would you rather/truth or dare questions. They come disguised as hypothetical ‘what would you do’ questions, but once the other person responds, they’ve set themselves up for a dare.
Of course, not everyone is going to follow through on these funny dares, and that’s okay. These aren’t dares that you can expect someone to do, but if they come through, well, that’s awesome. It’s all about presenting the challenge.
Use these questions-turned-dares when you really want to throw someone for a loop. Most people aren’t going to expect the second act (turning the question into a dare), and that’s when things get funny.
Here are 7 of the best would you rather questions that are also really funny dares:
71. Would you rather email an embarrassing email to your entire company or eat an entire stick of butter?
How much do you value your career?
72. Would you rather wear a cape for a month everywhere with no explanation or wear an eye patch everywhere for a month?
Superhero or pirate?
73. Would you rather drink all your food from a baby bottle or wear visible diapers for the rest of your life?
Oh, grow up.
74. Would you rather always talk in rhymes or sing instead of speak?
How to Make People Uncomfortable 101
75. Would you rather always have to sing instead of speaking or dance everywhere you went?
Either way you’re destined for stardom.
76. Would you rather stay up all night helping an irritating family member with a problem or babysit a baby that will not stop crying?
The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.
77. Would you rather have everyone know the details of your finances or the details of your love life?
Assuming you have finances and/or a love life, of course.
You’ve reached the tough ones. Hard would you rather questions require your brain to kick into overdrive and think deeply on which path to take.
Here are 10 really hard, really funny would you rather questions:
78. Would you rather Jell-o wrestle nude in front of your family or wear a diaper and act like a baby in front of someone you have a crush on?
Don’t be such a baby.
79. Would you rather never laugh again or never use your smartphone again?
How will you ever enjoy cat gifs?
80. Would you rather be gossiped about or never talked about at all?
The most “popular” or the most boring?
81. Would you rather forget who you were or who everyone else was?
If you’re a fan of short-term memory loss, check out the movie Memento (2000).
82. Would you rather be born with an elephant trunk or a giraffe neck?
Both would be useful but look unfortunate.
83. Would you rather be forgotten or hatefully remembered?
What kind of legacy works for you?
84. Would you rather fight Mike Tyson or talk like him for the rest of your life?
Thaths a sthilly questhtion.
85. Would you rather have everything you eat tastes like boogers or have only one eye?
Boogers are mostly just dirt. Having an excuse to wear an eye patch would be cool though.
86. Would you rather lick an old man’s stinky armpit or chew on a rotten yellow toenail?
How’s your stomach feeling?
Downloadable List of Would You Rather Questions Funny
Here is a downloadable list of funny would you rather questions (right click the image and select Save Image As…):
Congratulations! You’re now an expert at asking funny would you rather questions! If you use them at the right times, you’ll be known as the guy who always has funny questions to ask and can keep a conversation hilarious.