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30 Best Questions To Ask Your Spouse – Really Improve Your Marriage Now

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Jasper is our expert conversationalist and wordsmith. He loves coming up with questions, jokes, and topics designed to create natural conversation. His work has been featured on Marriage.com, iHeart Media, Elite Dai ...
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by | | April 12, 2022


Have questions to ask your spouse ready to avoid any boring exchanges.

As an expert conversationalist, I know the importance of conversation starters, especially for a married couple. Communication is the foundation of a strong relationship, after all. And if you check out my articles, knowing the right questions are in high demand and very popular!

So, here's a list perfect to use with your spouse!

Contents

Ultimate Questions You Need to Ask Your Spouse

No matter how long you've been together, relationships take a lot of work to keep feelings of love and intimacy alive. It's important that as your married life evolves, so do your conversations. That's why a list of questions for couples is always handy. Think you know everything there is to know about each other? Think again!

6 Best Questions For Getting To Know Your Partner Better

Questions for a girl allow you to really get to know her. From her family life stories to her celebrity crush and favorite sport growing up, they're a fun way to bond. So whether you're looking for things to ask your significant other that are on a deeper level, or just something to start a meaningful conversation, these are the best!

Here are the 6 best questions for getting to know your partner better:

1. What is your favorite thing about being married?

Sometimes, it's interesting learning about your spouse's perspective on things. Knowing what she loves most about being with you can be an eye-opener to what she values in your marriage.

2. What physical features of mine do you hope our kids receive?

This is a good question with unpredictable answers. When it comes to physical features, what you prize about yourself might not be the same as what your partner likes about you.

3. What do you think is going right in our relationship?

Do you have a favorite tradition you do as part of your marriage life that's quirky but totally the two of you? Is there a cute little thing you do for each other no one else knows about? Sometimes it's the smallest things that make your relationship special.

4. Where would you like our relationship to be this time next year?

Great questions like this can help you and your partner plan for the near future. Who knows, you may be surprised there's a desire for a new family member.

5. When you were younger, what did you think marriage would look like?

This is a fun question where you can compare your ideas of marriage with your younger selves. You can also talk about how your love language has changed over the years, and what was an important thing to you in the past may not be essential now.

6. Is there anything I devote regular time to that you see as a possible threat to our family or our relationship?

It's great to get ahead and ask questions like these before issues build in your marriage. A common thing couples need marriage counseling for is a lack of communication. So, connect often and have those discussions, even if the topic is hard.

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6 Things To Ask Your Partner To Improve Your Marriage

It's important in a marriage to keep things feeling fresh. You need to put effort into making sure there is still romance, fun, and intimacy between you. That's where things to ask your partner come in handy!

Here are 6 things to ask your spouse to improve your marriage:

7. What is the best part about being together? How does that make you feel?

This is a great conversation starter to talk about your marital bliss. Share the things that you do well as a couple and the things that make you happy. Focusing and appreciating the positives is great for mental health.

8. What's something you'd like to do together that we've never done? What makes it so inviting to you?

Perhaps it's as simple as doing a duet of her favorite song in public or doing something adventurous like water rafting. Or, maybe it's to celebrate New Years' Eve in another country. The possibilities are endless!

9. What was the last thing I did for you that you really enjoyed? What made it so pleasant for you?

Love is sometimes about doing things for one another. And that effort and thought mean a lot to your spouse. Find out the things she most appreciated and why, so you know what to repeat.

10. What can I do to better show my love for you?

In high school, showing love was done by passing notes, creating a song list of ballads to share, or sneaking a flower into each other's locker. As husband and wife, showing love might be as simple as helping with the housework or preparing dinner. Everyone is different, so it's good to ask this question. It can improve and strengthen your relationship.

11. Do you think our marriage has changed for the better or worse?

Hopefully, it's hasn't changed for the worse, but if it has, this is your time and opportunity to work on it. Before speaking to a family therapist, talk to each other about what you can both do to correct what's gone wrong.

12. What makes us a good team? What could we do to be an even better team?

Make sure as you and your partner discuss your relationship and life together, you share your opinions and thoughts as well. Communication and being honest are important. While asking what makes you a good team is great, you should also voice your ideas and feelings.

6 Amusing Questions To Strengthen Your Relationship

Thought-provoking questions make for intriguing conversations! You can sit with each other for hours discussing interesting questions and answers. They can strengthen your relationship because you are present, grounded, and unequivocally you'll discover things that anchor you closer to each other.

Here are 6 amusing questions to strengthen love:

13. Do we communicate well together?

Meaningful questions like this are great to ask because it creates a moment to linger in thought and emotion. You're forced to think and evaluate your love for one another and whether your love life can be improved simply by changing the way you do communicate.

14. What one thing do I do that you wish I wouldn't?

The importance of asking each other interesting questions like this is to discover something you may not have realized. If you want a strong relationship, there should be regular sessions of asking your partner questions about self-improvement.

15. What is one thing that I do that makes you happy?

Ask your spouse the right question, and you may be rewarded. In this case, you'll learn what you do right, and you'll feel appreciated for the things you do that make your partner happy.

16. What is the biggest lesson you have learned from a past relationship?

It's healthy in a relationship to share your past. And while you may know some stories about each other's exes, it's productive to talk about the lessons you also learned from them. Are there any patterns, connection styles, or needs that weren't met you should know about?

17. What do you think was your most vulnerable moment in our relationship?

It's important to know what makes your spouse feel vulnerable when it comes to your relationship so you know when you can be more supportive and understanding.

18. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be and why?

Every marriage has its ups and downs. There is no such thing as a perfect couple, but some work harder for their happiness and strong connection. Part of this is being open with one another, which means talking about dislikes and topics that can get uncomfortable.

6 Romantic Questions For Married Couples to Deepen Their Relationship

It may be a little strange at first, but deep relationship and personal questions are great to move away from asking the same old, tired questions. Liven up your marriage with deep questions and get to the very heart and soul of your partner.

Here are 6 romantic questions married couples to deepen their relationship:

19. How much do you value me?

There would have been a lot of moments throughout your marriage where you went above and beyond for your significant other. She no doubt respects and admires you, but see if she can put your value and her love into words.

20. What is a romantic fantasy of yours?

Couples that share everything have solid trust and love in their relationship. You should be comfortable enough with each other to talk about your dreams in life and your deepest romantic fantasies.

21. What qualities make me special to you?

Celebrate that your lady obviously loves you, or else you wouldn't be together. But sometimes, having your more admirable and praise-worthy qualities pointed out is good for your self-esteem.

22. Is there anything we haven't tried that you'd like to?

This can link in with asking your significant about her fantasies. Are they things she would physically like to try? Or are they better left to her imagination?

23. Do we make each other better people?

You'd like to believe that marriage means you are each other's biggest champions and supporters. You should be lifting each other up, singing praises, and bringing the best parts of each other out. Find out if you do that for each other. And if not, start.

24. Do you see our love lasting? Do you ever have any doubts?

These deep topics can sometimes be difficult to ask. And even harder still is hearing some of the answers. But your marriage needs deep conversations like this for insight into how your partner feels about you and your relationship.

6 Questions To Keep A Conversation Going With Your Girl

Questions to keep a conversation going are great for any social situation. And sometimes, they're handy for the spouse! There are many things to talk about with a girl, so start practicing the art of conversation. Avoid dull, quiet nights, and spice things up with lively discussions.

Here are 6 questions to keep the conversations going:

25. Do you have any regrets in life?

The trick to keeping conversations going is to ask things and share yourself. Topics should spark interest and encourage you to keep talking. This question does that, and it can be quite deep as well.

26. Do you think we should live like we're dying?

If the answer is a sad yes, liven things up and relive a favorite childhood memory. Going back to your roots and feeling like a child again can really help you feel more alive.

27. What brings you joy?

To some people, it's as simple as having a room painted their favorite color. But whatever your wife says brings her joy, bring more of that into her life.

28. What would be a perfect date night?

Perhaps it was one you've already had in the past. Relive that favorite memory of hers and recreate, or even improve on that idea. A date night is something you should often have because they allow you to show and feel affection and gratitude for one another.

29. What is one thing, besides your phone, that you couldn't live without?

Hopefully, her answer isn't something like access to social media. After all, life is full of things to enjoy, cherish, and love.

30. What's been the best part of your day so far?

It's a simple and easy question, but it's a good topic to discuss to keep your conversation going. To keep discussions from dying down, you don't need to think of heavy, serious, or really unusual questions. Sometimes you just need to talk about your day and appreciate the little things.

How To Talk To Someone - 5 Tips

Poor communication skills are more common than you think. Even talking to your own wife or family members can still feel like pressure, and you get lost for words. Having questions and conversations starters ready is a good place to start, but I'll be giving more tips to help you talk to someone.

Here are 5 tips on how to talk to someone:

Tip #1: Make sure to listen.

This may seem obvious, but sometimes people forget that conversations are a two-way street. Listen to understand. It also helps identify queues and moments where you can reply to help the conversations flow more naturally.

Tip #2: Share as well.

You need to share your experiences and opinions, too, not just ask questions like you're interviewing the person you're speaking with.

Tip #3: Respect what other people say.

Don't be quick to jump to conclusions or be judgemental about what someone is saying. Let them share their opinion. While some friendly banter is fine, don't be abrupt to chastise, correct or judge someone.

Tip #4: Read between the lines and watch for non-verbal cues.

If you're talking to someone you've just met, it may be uncomfortable for you to overshare or ask personal questions. Even your partner sometimes might not be in the mood to talk about certain things. Pay attention to non-verbal cues and body language.

Tip #5: Be kind and courteous.

This is basic manners. Don't talk over others, slow down when you speak, and be respectful.

Downloadable and Printable List of Questions All Married Couples Should Ask

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of questions for married couples (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):

Frequently Asked Questions

It's remarkable what you can learn by asking the right questions. Here, we've answered some that you may not have thought of. Check out these most frequently asked:

How can I pick the best question to ask my spouse?

Really, anything is great to ask. Even if you've been together for years and see each other every day, you'll be amazed at how much people change over the years. Of course, don't ask the same question over and over. Mix it up!

Is it important to ask my partner questions?

Asking your significant other questions shows you care about her opinions and thoughts. It shows you respect and loves her and that she is important to you. It's a great way to spend time together too.

What should I do if my spouse seems irritated at my questions?

Consider her mood because sometimes it's about timing. Be mindful that certain questions can trigger bad memories, embarrassment, or make her feel vulnerable. Use your common sense.

How can I be a better husband for my spouse?

Communicate well, be genuine and loving, and appreciate what she does for you. Don't take even the little things for granted. If you make her feel loved, your life together will be quite harmonious. Remember your responsibilities as a husband.

More Awesome Articles To Explore

It is absolutely wonderful that you're putting effort into improving your marriage. These articles will help you as well:

  1. You may be stuck for anniversary gift ideas for wife. Don't fear; this list has some great suggestions.
  2. You're talking more, but why not kick it up a notch and do more things together too! Hobbies for couples are fun and incredible at spicing up romance and intimacy.
  3. You can never have too many date night ideas for married couples. The trouble is choosing the best one. But then again, why not try them all?

In Conclusion

Things to ask the love of your life are the perfect conversation starters for any married couple. Having questions not only strengthens your bond and intimacy but helps you discover your spouse's wants and needs.

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