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How to ask a girl out over text isn't as simple as saying, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" This isn't middle school anymore, guys! Which means knowing
Nope, knowing how to ask a girl out over text is a bit more complicated than that (but not by much!)
In this article we'll walk you through how to ask a girl out over text step by step.
We'll also throw in a few tips on how to text a girl that will make her want to meet up in person.
And if you follow our advice and adapt it to your dating style, you'll have no trouble figuring out how to ask a girl out over text and how to get a girlfriend.
How To Ask A Girl Out Over Text: 7 Steps
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Before knowing how to ask a girl out over text you first have to know how to text a girl you like.
Luckily for you, we have some tricks, methods, and example texts below that'll help you do exactly that.
And the best part?
These tools will help you build the confidence to finally ask her out!
It's easier than you think!
1. Start a Text Conversation With A Girl
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The first thing you'll need to do when learning how to ask a girl out over text is start a conversation with her. We have some text conversation starters if you need inspiration.
However, if you don't know how to start a text conversation with a girl, try one of these:
Conversation Starter #1: "Hey! Wanna go to the Farmer's Market on Saturday?"
One way to start a conversation is by completely bypassing the pleasantries and immediately asking her to do something.
Use this ONLY if you've already been talking for more than a few days. If it's your first time texting her after getting her number, try a different approach.
Conversation Starter #2: "Hey, good lookin' :)"
To make your intentions completely clear, send her something sweet and complimentary.
Conversation Starter #3: "So the craziest thing just happened..."
Starting a text conversation with a personal anecdote works well. The funnier the better.
2. Know What To Text a Girl to Ask Her Out
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Before you ask her out, you have to build a relationship with her. You have to text her for a reasonable amount of time.
I usually ask the second or third day of texting (as long as the conversation is good) because by that point I've made up my mind about whether or not I want to spend time with her. A good rule of thumb: The sooner the better.
But before you reach that point, you have to know what to text a girl to create an engaging dialogue. Here are some examples:
Tip #1: Send Good Morning Texts To Her
Keep a list of good morning texts for her to let her know she's the first thing on your mind when you wake up.
- "Good morning, good looking. Hope you have a great day :)" A simple good morning is always a safe bet, but I especially like using them when I have a busy day and can't text much.
- "Was I the only one who dreamt about us last night?" Even if it's not true, it'll still make her blush and she won't be mad about it.
- "Can I have you for breakfast in bed this morning?" You sly dog, you.
Tip #2: Send Good Night Texts To Her
Never fall asleep without saying good night to girl.
Here are some good night texts for her that will make her dreams a little sweeter:
- "I'm about to fall asleep and I've decided I'm dreaming of you tonight." You can't get more flirty than this.
- "Just wanted to say good night and sweet dreams :)" If you haven't been talking to her before bed, send something like this out of the blue.
- "Buona notte, bella!" It means "Good night, beautiful" in Italian. She'll swoon.
Tip #3: Ask Questions To Ask a Girl Over Text
You have to have a conversation! Try some of these questions to ask a girl over text to get to know her a little better:
- "What was your favorite TV show as a kid?" Nostalgia is a fun topic.
- "What did you do on your last vacation?" Take your own cool vacations so you have your own stories.
- "How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?" Tentacles :)
Tip #4: Send Sweet Things to Her
The happiest couples make each other feel good about themselves. They're supportive, understanding, and give each other complements OFTEN.
So if you want a relationship to develop, you'll need some sweet things to say to a girl to begin building a supportive and friendly rapport.
- "Good luck with XXXX today!" If she tells you about a presentation or test she has coming up, be sure to wish her luck on the big day.
- "Seriously, I didn't think someone could be this attractive." Use this when she keeps surprising you with sexy information about herself.
- "I like what you've got going on with your outfit." Or tell her any other thing you liked about her when you got her number/a picture she sent you.
3. Flirt With Her Over Text
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Knowing how to flirt with a girl over text requires a little more than just flirty texts for her.
Those links will give you the tips you need, but here are a few example texts to get you started:
Flirty Text #1: "How's my princess doing today?"
Giving her a unique nickname is one of the best ways to lightly tease a girl.
I recommend having it relate to something she's said or done. For instance, if she frequently uses a certain dog filter on Snapchat, call her something like "Puppy Queen."
Flirty Text #2: "And I thought you couldn't get any more attractive..."
Using this one when she tells you something personal or interesting about herself is guaranteed to make her smile.
Flirty Text #3: "I'm on a mission to stop daydreaming about you. I call it Mission Impossible"
Full disclosure, I didn't come up with this. But cheesy pickup lines
actually work when you're texting a girl. Try it out!
4. Know How To Tell If A Girl Likes You Over Text
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If a girl doesn't like you, there's no point in asking her out.
And if you're ever going to know how to ask a girl out over text, you first should know how to tell if a girl likes you over text, you have to pay attention to the signs.
We have plenty of signs a girl likes you that will help you recognize when you're being hit on...
...But here are a few that will ease your anxiety of asking her out,
Sign #1: She's The First To Text
If a girl is usually the one initiating text conversations, she wants to talk to you. Swap roles and text her first from time to time.
Sign #2: Her Texts to you are Longer than they need to be
It's true, one of the first rules of texting is to not send walls of text but that doesn't stop everyone!
If a girl is sending you thoughtful and detailed texts, she's definitely enjoying the conversation. Respond with similar-sized messages to keep the conversation moving.
Sign #3: She Responds to your Texts Quickly
Responding too quickly can be a sign of desperation, unless of course, you're both having a good time chatting and things seem to be going smoothly.
If that's the case, keep zooming those thumbs across your screen. Because she clearly isn't hesitating.
5. Know the Signs a Girl Doesn't Like you Over Text
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Yeah, it stinks but sometimes she's just not that into you. And that's okay.
But keep an eye out for these signs a girl doesn't like you:
Sign #1: She Takes FOREVER to respond to texts
Sure, she might be busy, but if it seems like you're the one doing all the work over text, you might want to stop texting for a day or two and see if she writes you first.
Or if you'd rather know how she feels sooner, just ask her if this is working for her.
Furthermore, you could cut to the chase and ask her out (if you don't mind the chance of rejection.) That way, there'll be no more wondering to yourself: "How do I ask a girl out over text?"
Sign #2: She Doesn't Ask Questions About You
Have you noticed she hasn't asked you any questions about yourself? That's a bad sign.
If a girl's interested, she'll ask you questions about yourself.
Sign #3: She Never Initiates Texting
Are you the one starting all the conversations? Wait and see if she texts you first.
Ideally, the two of you switch off initiating a conversation.
6. Know The Cute Ways to Ask a Girl Out Over Text
via: Unsplash / Charisse Kenion
If you want her to like you more, you have to show her your soft side.
But I get it. Being cute isn't manly at all, right?...
Wrong.
Real men have a wide range of emotions and they're not afraid to express them (responsibly).
And they recognize that cute ways to ask a girl out have a remarkably high success rate. Here are some examples:
Method #1: The Sly Approach
If you ask a girl what she's doing on a specific day and she already has plans, you can use it to your advantage and ask her out in a very smooth way:
"Bummer... I guess I'll have to wait until next week to take you to that new brewery that opened up :)"
This method works because it's not exactly asking her out. You're telling her that you guys are going to hang out, and that shows confidence.
Another slick example:
"This sounds like something we should discuss over a glass of wine and some dinner. How's Friday sound?"
Method #2: The "Do You Like" Approach
If you ask a girl if she likes something and she says yes, there's a good chance she'll agree to do it with you (as long as she likes you.)
"Do you like nature walks? (please say yes)"
Every girl likes nature walks, but the idea applies with any activity you choose. So if she likes it:
"So we should probably go to the park this weekend, huh?"
Method #3: The Nerdy Approach
If you're into nerd culture, you have plenty of ways to connect with her and some creative ways to ask her out. For instance, if you're both familiar with Pokémon, you can do this:
"A wild Kyle appeared!"
"Kyle used ASK OUT" (and if she says yes...)
"It's super effective!"
Something silly and relatable to your shared interests is basically what it boils down to. Get creative and try one out!
7. Learn How to Handle Rejection
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If she says that she doesn't want to go on a date with you, ACCEPT IT!
Nothing you do or say will change how she feels about you. In fact, if you go a little over the edge, she's guaranteed to block you.
And calling her names or trying to hurt her feelings is what Nice Guys™ do. Don't be a Nice Guy™
If however, you're the type of guy who can take constructive criticism, ask her why it wasn't working for her:
"Are there any specific reasons or things I can work on?"
You have literally nothing to lose at this point so there's no harm in asking.
She might tell you about an unattractive trait you didn't realize you had, or she'll tell you she "just wasn't feeling it."
Either way, it's all good. There are plenty of other girls who need asking out.
What To Do When She Doesn't Text Back After Asking Her Out Over Text
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If you asked her out and she didn't text back, you're in a bad spot, my friend.
Your best bet is to keep your mind occupied with other things and avoid texting her for at least 24 hours (she may have become unexpectedly busy and forgot to text back).
Send ONLY ONE MORE TEXT after a day has passed, something along the lines of:
"Hey, did you not see that last text?"
She'll either keep ghosting you or she'll text back with good or bad news.
Whatever happens, it's not going to kill you and plus, you won't have to wonder if she likes you anymore!
So if it doesn't work out, oh well. Was that a cute girl that just walked by? Go talk to her instead of worrying about a girl who can't seem to show you some respect and be up front with you.
Because if you're caught up on someone who isn't into you, you won't notice the girl who is.
More Tips on How To Get The Girl
Before you learn how to ask a girl out over text, you may want to work on a few things:
- Understanding women is hard for most guys. But most guys don't bother to try.
- Knowing how to get a girl to like you is helpful if you want to get the girl.
- You have to know what women want in a man so you can be the man women want.
- And don't forget to have some love messages for her if you really want to make her feel good.
In Conclusion
See? Learning how to ask a girl out over text wasn't that bad, was it?
The next time you find yourself asking: "How do I ask a girl out over text?", stick to the steps we showed you, and don't be afraid of rejection. Because let's face it...
We all get rejected sometimes. But that's a good thing!
Why?
You're not going to get better at talking to girls by avoiding them. The same applies to asking them on dates.
So pick up that phone and schedule something!
